


Wires

by xShieru



Category: Dangan Ronpa, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Alternate Universe, Character Death, Crime AU, Drug Use, Gen, Manipulation, Multi, SDR2 Spoilers, Sexual Content, Triggers, more detective crap than romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-05
Updated: 2013-12-22
Packaged: 2017-12-31 14:49:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 46,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1032947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xShieru/pseuds/xShieru
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>CRIME AU. The battle to get some justice in this world is not always fair and in order to get some semblance to a victory all means are acceptable to attain it. Even if it means sacrificing everything you have.<br/>Togami Byakuya sees the mass murder case as an opportunity for one of his best reporters to write the most amazing story Japan has ever witnessed. Hinata Hajime never wanted to get sucked into a world full of crime, but anything for promotion and money, right?<br/>In a blink of an eye he's the center of an underground war between murderers with no way out.<br/>Close people are involved, mind games are played and Hinata is really confused.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, my peeps. In all honesty, I have no idea where this story is going. All I want in life is Hinata trying to solve gross murders while he's being mind fucked from the sidelines. The updates will be pretty fast (I only have one-two more chapters left to write down) and i think it will have 7 chapters at most.  
> Please forgive any mistakes you might find and my lack of detective bullshitting skills. I don't think I've ever read a proper detective novel. Enjoy your gross fic, guys.  
> Inspired by the song Wires by the Neighborhood. i am sure that every self-respecting Komaeda loving fan had heard it before. Keep in mind that this story contains plenty triggers: horror, blood, gore, etc etc. If you're a sensitive lad THEN LEAVE. Possible OOC. SPECIAL THANKS TO EMULIKULE COZ SHE FIXED MY FIC........ somewhat. We just don't know. Now go read her fic. She's amazing -promotes-

That day his morning is no different than any others. It is the same old routine; wake up at 7.30 am sharp, shower, pick out the least crumpled clothes and get dressed, wait for the coffee to brew, butter up a toast, add some strawberry jam and munch on it while relaxing in the small kitchenette. While the caffeine induced drink gets strong enough to drink – it is a necessity in his line of work – Hinata Hajime picks up his daily newspaper and reads. 

When he sees the front page he knows that his morning is quickly going to get from bad to worse. The first page on the thin dull grey paper flashes in big offending font ‘ANOTHER DEAD BODY HAS BEEN DISCOVERED. THE MASS MURDERER STRIKES AGAIN’. The man just rolls his eyes at the big picture of a dead woman taking up more than a half of the front page, dark gray splashes indicating obvious blood splattered all across the ground and even the walls.

They could try to censor it better. It’s like they used some random photo that some amateur photographer took after accidentally stumbling on the scene of the crime. Just seeing the thing made his toast taste about as great as cardboard, so Hinata quickly licks away the remains of strawberry jam away from his fingers before he gets sick. 

He shouldn't be so shocked; everyday a new body was discovered in some shallow alley, not really hidden from people’s eyes like the person who committed these murders gave up on trying, but that didn’t stop the shivers of fear and disgust from racing up and down Hinata’s spine. Just how fucked up could someone be to injure another person and kill them cold-bloodedly no less. Whoever this person – Hinata is not sure that he should even call someone like that a human being- was, he had some intense psychological issues. Not really wanting to keep thinking and eager to find out if there was anything new discovered, the brown haired man just brushed those thoughts away and began reading.

‘… a third body this week… the victim is a twenty-two year old woman… the local police are concerned about the murders having no pattern whatsoever… the murder was executed perfectly, no clues left at the scene of the crime… police still cannot determine whether the culprit is a male or female… a new detective assigned to the investigation… for your own safety we recommend to not go outside during the night time, avoid alleys, don’t let kids outside blah blah blah, nothing new. Same old.’

With a sigh the young man rolls up his newspaper and finishes his black coffee in two big gulps, grabs his leather messenger bag and pats his pockets in search for the keys. 

‘Togami will be ecstatic. He has an unhealthy obsession with this case. Then again he has unhealthy obsessions with lots of things, like chicken nuggets and expensive drinks that commoners such as myself cannot even dream of. He’ll be a slave driver today, oh joy. Just what I needed. I still haven’t done much and I hate this case already.’ Hinata murmurs to himself and pulls on his shoes. The coffee is still yet to take any kind of effect, he’s grumpy as always. “Do this, do that, pah, he can do it himself. I just hope he’ll get something decent for me to write about… I just wonder when all of this will be over. They’ll catch that killer eventually… I won’t have to jump out of my own skin every time I hear something creak. You can never know when some sort of psychopath is breathing down on the back of your neck. Damn keys..! Ugh, finally, I’ll be late.’ 

Not willing to think about the disturbing case and the creepy joyous mood set by his boss he’ll surely witness once he’ll step one foot inside the building, Hinata locks the door to his small apartment and takes off down the stairs, two at a time, unknowingly getting closer to his own demise with every second.  
* He buys another espresso just for the hell of it and starts booting up his laptop when a young woman with blond hair, tied in a messy ponytail, approaches him and Hinata eyes her with a disgruntled expression on his face and sips the hot drink, feeling his tongue burn. He should’ve known better than to expect a normal morning when all he could hear were not-so-silent whispers about the murder all around him. She fidgets with her manila files squeezed in front of her thighs and clears her throat.

“Hinata-san, Togami-san would like to see you in his—“

“In his office, yeah, I know. Thanks for letting me know, Sonia.”

The woman smiles brightly and smooths her forest green dress. “It was no problem. Did you read today’s newspapers?” she is straight to the point and Hinata leans back against his swivel chair and sighs heavily.

“Even if I hadn’t done that, I think that I would know what everyone’s talking about. I am pretty sure I don’t even have to talk to anyone in particular to know what this is about. Togami wants to see me, so that we can friendly chat about the new dead body, right?”

“That seems to be the case. I think the press is already up on their legs and you know how he is, we need to be the best ones out there. He is depending on us.” Hinata can see that she’s trying very hard to not show her own discomfort. Sonia’s never been good with cases that involved people dying. As much as she enjoyed her detective dramas, she respected the ones who had passed away and just the mere thought that she would have to pry into classified files only to look at some private information and risk her life for it wasn’t all that appealing. Her smile is a grimace on her blemish-free face and she looks to the side. “Also I think he mentioned that it would be great that you brought him a cup of cof—“

Hinata stands up abruptly and slams his laptop shut, not really caring that he’s not supposed to do that. Whatever, he’ll need a new one soon anyways. “I am not his errand boy. If he wants to see me then fine. If he wants to rope me into the murder case… well, not fine, but it is not like I can complain without risking my job. He has like ten people who were hired to make him coffee.” Hinata storms past the blonde woman who looks a tad bit surprised about his shitty mood, because Hinata always tries to act like a gentleman in front of a high-class lady such as Sonia, and curses his entire short trip to Togami’s office. 

He doesn’t bother knocking on the polished oak door, scares some random errand boy pouring his boss some tropical tea, that makes the brown haired man’s head spin with its sharp spicy scent and he sneezes. Togami looks at him as if he’s a cockroach that must be squashed with the tip of his pristine designer shoe, slants his eyebrows down and slowly chews on whatever delicacy that was presented before him on a silver platter. There is an awkward moment of silence while Togami glares and crushes the sugary good with his teeth and Hinata thinks whether he should sit down or not when his blond boss speaks.

“Not only do you act like some commoner that was most likely born on the bus, thus not taught any manners, you dare to storm into my office without even knocking first.” Togami scolds him and the glare the smaller man receives sends a shiver of fear down his spine. Hinata helplessly fidgets with the sleeve of his shirt and mutters a quick ‘I apologize’. The tension goes away and Togami waves his hand in a wordless invitation for his worker to sit down.

“I assume that you’ve read today’s newspaper, is that correct?”

“Yes.” Hinata deadpans, but Togami squints his blue eyes again, so he shrinks back in his small chair. “…sir.”

His boss looks deep in thought and leans back in his chair, presses the tips of his fingers together and stares at them and Hinata panics, because he has never seen Togami so serious before. What if this was just some small second rate chatter and Togami will finally inevitably get rid of him once and for all. Maybe those talks that he was one of the blonds’ most valued reporters were just some random rumors his fellow co-workers came up with. What if right now Togami is thinking of the best way to tell him that his services are no longer needed? But then again, Togami isn’t like that, if the man doesn’t like something he outright says it and doesn’t dance around the subject at hand. As much as his work was tiring him out, Hinata never would have thought that he would have to quit it. He’s always dreamed about becoming a reporter and working for the Togami family. As rude as his boss was, he felt close to the man and even considered him a friend, plus everyone else working here was nice too. Even Koizumi, who didn’t like him that much. And now… did he finally fuck up? Should he maybe say something? Try to explain himself? 

“I’m sorry, sir…. Are… Are you trying to fire me?” Hinata asks and feels like biting his tongue off. He couldn’t handle the tension so it had slipped away before he could think. Togami looks slightly startled by the brown-haired man’s statement and Hinata feels himself relax a little and calls himself stupid one more time.

“Are you saying that you want me to?” Togami blinks a few times as if he’s heard it wrong.

“N-No! Of course not. Please continue.”

Hinata’s more awake now and Togami goes back into his deep trance of thoughts. He taps his fingertips against the smooth surface of his working desk and Hinata curses the fact that he cannot read the taller one’s emotions, his face completely void and closed off. A perfect poker face.

“Do you know why I called you here today, Hinata?”

“I…. I guess you could say that I have a feeling…sir. “ the smaller man fidgets and his nervousness surfaces again. He’s going to ask. His boss is going to ask him to be the one to work on the mass-murder case. 

“I know that you have already been introduced to the infamous mass-murder case. I’m here to ask you to be our representative reporter and work on this case. I expect you to take up my offer and write one of the best articles Japan has ever witnessed and put all of those other unknown men, trying to play reporters, to shame.”

Bingo. Called it. If there was anything to call in the first place that is.

“I’m not sure that I am the right man for this job, sir. This is no ordinary case, it is something that all of the Japan is following. It has shaken the people here almost as much as the Genocider Syo‘s Bloody Fever a few years back and I don’t think it is in my capacity to write a story that more than a few hundreds of people will read.”

Actually as impudent as it might sound, Hinata had confidence in his abilities. Ever since he was a kid working with his best friend for the school’s newspaper, he always heard praises left and right for making his articles interesting. Teachers were impressed and said that he had natural talent to be a writer or a reporter, something about the way he described things and gave out his honest –sometimes rude – opinions. It seemed only natural to choose journalism after he finished high school, whereas his best friend went for the police academy. Hinata knew that if he tried hard enough and gave his best on the case, that crashed all over Japan like a tide, he could make it, but somehow… He didn’t want to approach that case, not even with a ten-feet long pole. He’s heard people whisper among themselves about how that case was cursed and everyone involved in it got tangled in something bigger and deeper than any of them could comprehend, something a lot more darker than just a few missing people and dead bodies discovered every two days. It unnerved him and now that his boss asked him to take a part in it, he was risking everything. 

Who knows? One day his friends might be the ones to write about the dead body of Hinata Hajime, a rookie reporter with his head slashed off and his intestines hanged on the walls, dumped somewhere in the middle of a street.

But here was Togami Byakuya before him, looking like he was about to bitch and Hinata closed his eyes in resignation when the man leaned in as much as he could.

“You’re turning this offer down? This one in a lifetime offer that only a few carefully chosen ones can say ‘yes’ to. Are you stupid?”

“I value my life, sir. I think you heard the rumors about the ones involved. I don’t wish to end up dead in a ditch somewhere, thank you very much.”

Togami bristled like an angry feline. “Do you think I would just let one of my own reporters jump head first to into such a dangerous case without any protection and certain measures taken beforehand? Who do you take me for? Some imbecile? You would be working with an old acquaintance of mine, she’s the new detective assigned to this case. Also, I am familiar with the fact that you too have some connections in the police bureau, so it will be a nice change for you too.”

“I don’t understand. What do you mean by ‘a nice change’? Plus, it might be years until the culprit is finally revealed…”

“The new detective is one of the best out there. I… I am confident in her skills and I do not exaggerate when I say this; she will find the culprit in a week at most. I personally talked to some influential people working on the case and recommended her. She has caught all of the criminals assigned to her. You will assist her and together you will try to figure out the identity of the criminal. I’ve got permission for you to tag along. Be grateful, you’re the only one who gets a VIP access to the newest information. We can arrange for you to have protection too. Now think about this one more time and tell me; do you accept my offer or not?”

Now it was Hinata’s turn to think this through. He was offered protection and classified information that only he could get his hands on. Plus working with a famous detective…? It was like a Sherlock Holmes book. A dream come true too. Detective stuff always attracted him, Hinata thinks that he’s read all of detective and crime related books out there. And the mere idea of being the one to discover the criminal’s true identity was thrilling. It made his heart pump with adrenaline. Before Hinata could even continue, his boss began pressuring again, not trying to hide the fact that Hinata would not leave this office until he said yes.

“Not only that, but you will become one of the greatest reporters in Japan too. Everyone will know about you. Not to mention I will promote you and give you a pay raise. Hinata, you have incredible talent and those types of abilities aren’t found just anywhere. I am not doing this just for my own sake; it is for your sake too. You mentioned that this was your dream and that you’ve always aimed for it. It would be a shame to let such an opportunity go to waste. “

“You’re… not going to let me go if I refuse, am I right?” Hinata smiled, a bit of an awkward edge to it.

Togami glared for the nth time and stood straight with a huff. “If you refuse I won’t ever give you a proper story again. You will be a mediocre no-one for the rest of your days.”

The brown haired man couldn’t tell if his boss was kidding or not but knowing how he lacked a sense of humor and was to be taken serious, he was pretty sure that this was an actual threat. Togami reached for some files and read over them, his face showing disinterest, boredom even. Hinata weighted the pros and cons – or what was left of the negative side of this – one more time, peeled at the dry skin next to his thumb until it bled and made up his mind.

“I guess there’s nothing for me to do but say yes… I accept your offer. I’ll work on the case with miss…?”

“You may call her Kirigiri. Kirigiri Kyoko. I’m glad you still have some sense left in that caffeine drugged mind of yours. You should switch to green tea.” Togami wrinkled his nose and eyed Hinata, gaze travelling from messy hair to bloodshot eyes and then to his crumpled clothes. “When you go meet her, make sure that you wear a suit. Or iron your clothes; do you even know what an iron is?”

‘Yeah, better than you anyways. I don’t have three servants fixing my clothes every day. They don’t dress me too.‘ the smaller one thought bitterly and bit his lip just in case he might say it out loud.

“I’ll make sure to look like I stepped from the front cover of a fashion magazine.” Oops, he couldn’t resist it. 

His boss growled in warning, that can only be interpreted as ‘don’t try to be all witty with me’. He did that quite often. Obviously offended on some level, he grabbed a pink icing covered pastry and devoured it in a heartbeat. 

“Perfect. Go gather your things. You will start immediately.”

“I… excuse me?” had he heard it wrong? As in right now? He barely had any time to mentally prepare himself! And he wasn’t… overdressed. If he had known beforehand then he would have picked out something more formal to wear. An old black sweater –that he was sure had a dirty spot or a hole somewhere in it- old worn down jeans that he just couldn’t bear to throw away because they were the most comfortable pair he owned unlike the rest of the tight ones and beat down sneakers. No to mention the fact that he kind of forgot to comb his hair this morning so the short chocolate colored strands were sticking out in random directions more than normal. He ran his palm over the spiky hair out of habit in a mock attempt to tame it.

“Don’t go over your beauty procedures yet. I am giving you the rest of the day off so that you can return home and fix up your absurd appearance. Try to look more presentable. You shall meet her today at the Islands restaurant 9.00 pm sharp. Here’s the address.” The piece of paper was slapped before him and Hinata stared at it, finally realizing that Togami had all of this planned out all along. Bastard… “No more questions? Good. Now get out. Get some sleep too, you look like a mendicant.”

The smaller man squeezed the tiny paper with the restaurant’s address scribbled onto it with Togami’s flawless handwriting and stormed out of the room without saying much. He knew that his boss wouldn’t say much about such rude behavior, it was already his snack time. 

He answered some questions on his way to the exit, brushed off Sonia, who looked at him with hurt doe-like eyes and vaguely thought about his day.

God, what had he gotten himself into?

*

Despite Togami insulting him in all of the ways that only he can, Hinata finds himself taking his advice –as usual- and falls asleep the moment his head hits the pillow. By the time he wakes up it is already 7.25 pm, so he drags his feet all the way to his bathroom and takes a long shower, yawning all the while. His muscles ache and his head pounds from the scorching heat, but he just keeps turning it up hotter and hotter until the weariness goes away. However the water fails to melt the icy coolness that rests heavily in the pit of his stomach. Hinata rubs the little drops that pool on the tips of his dark eyelashes away and feels the cold moist tiles beneath his palm. He’s shivering and for some reason he can’t shake off an ominous feeling that something bad is about to happen clutching at his heart, creeping behind him like dark thick fog that he must not inhale. He’s felt this way before, a few times in fact. He remembers it from the time he received a call saying that his grandmother died. Hinata was fifteen at the time and he had this weird eerie feeling the whole day. There was also the time his dad got into a car accident. He didn’t die, but there was a big chance that he might not make it. And now this?

Maybe he was just over thinking stuff... Yeah, that’s right; the events of the day were finally catching up to him. Working with murder cases? Of course he would feel anxious and uneasy, it only made sense. It was so sudden!

Not wanting to dwell on it too much, Hinata quickly finished bathing, made sure to comb his hair so that it could dry properly and set out on a hunt for some clothes. He opened the gigantic closet – it is not like he needed it to be this big, it was half empty - and looked over his more conservative and official clothes. Well too bad for him he did not have anything even resembling a fancy tuxedo or even a simple suit in sight so he would have to set for something… less official. At least he owned some dress shirts, some ties and surprise surprise, even actual dress pants, so he had some stuff to choose from. Without much thought he pushed the colored shirts away and picked out the whitest one – he hadn’t put it on before, it was still packed, therefore not in need of ironing, a chore that Hinata hated with all of his heart - and then he picked out a simple olive green tie to complete the image. Well... He looked better than he did this morning, so that was a bonus, right? Half decent. Not that bad.

By the time he was done with his little fashion show it was already the time to go. He would still have some time left, but he will make a good impression if he wasn’t late. He just hoped that this Kirigiri person would be punctual as well. Waiting wasn’t one of his strong sides.

By the time Hinata finally reached his motorcycle and started up the engine he suddenly realized that he had no idea whatsoever how this Kirigiri girl looked like. How the hell was he supposed to find her? He didn’t know if she was old or young, her height, her eye and hair colour. Togami – as unwilling as he was to do that, his boss had a hard time complimenting others - failed to mention any specific details regarding the woman’s appearance, only told him about how smart she was. Did the woman know how he looked? Probably not.

Maybe Togami didn’t say anything about her appearance because her photo was in today’s newspaper? He didn’t really read the rest of the article, because if there was anything new and interesting discovered, it would have made to the front page.

Those thoughts kept him occupied until he arrived to his destination. Hinata had to circle the building in case his eyes were fooling him. This was one of the fanciest restaurants in the area and he’s not sure how he failed to miss that the moment he had seen the address and heard the name of it. Maybe it was because he never really went to this part of town or maybe it was because just hearing about something like this and being inside were two different things. He parked his motorcycle, kicked the stand and figured that he would spend the next few minutes out of the ten that he had left exploring. The outside of the building looked like something out of a Hollywood movie and Hinata had to tilt his head up to see the very top of the enormous building supporting the skies above. He felt like a kid in a candy shop, people dressed in expensive clothing glaring at him and judging his antics but he didn’t care. He did another 360 to take everything in and walked down the wine red carpet into the building.

Once the heavy doors were out of his way, Hinata was pretty damn sure that he had landed in some American movie. Much to his surprise the inside of the restaurant didn’t look as spacious as it first seemed. Shyly he looked around trying to catch some sort of glance of some lone lady sitting next to a white tablecloth covered round table waving at him but no one like that was anywhere in sight. Only businessmen stuffing their faces full of foods, that Hinata had never seen in his life and he was sure that all of his paycheck will be wasted to cover the expenses. Couldn’t they have chosen a cheaper place to meet at?

He was quickly snapped out of his thoughts when a boy somewhere his age came up to him.

“Name, sir?”

Hinata blinked owlishly at the polite boy who bowed slightly and it took him three seconds to realize that the guy was talking to him.

“Aaah... You see I am supposed to meet someone here—“

“Have you reserved a table beforehand, sir?” Now Hinata could hear that the sir had a bit of sardonic ring to it and he felt his nerves pick up but smothered them down. Irksome little shit.

“I—“

“Hinata!” a feminine voice, that the brown haired boy knew all too well, shouted into his ear and he almost jumped out of his skin and whipped around at the speed of sound to see no one other than his co-worker, their professional photographer - Koizumi Mahiru. She was dressed in an elegant dark green dress that left very little to imagination and Hinata refused to look at the woman’s legs. Behind her was Koizumi’s friend. She waved at him, her long sleeve whipping to the sides, followed by a shrill ‘big bro!’. The guy looked just as confused as Hinata did and the brown haired man turned to the red haired woman again, rubbing his ear. She sure had a loud voice…

“K-Koizumi? What are you doing here?”

“I’m here to eat, obviously.” Her cheeks turn pink and the man has a slight feeling that she’s not saying the honest truth. A giggle from Saionji confirms that. “A-Anyways! Do you think you’re special, now that you have been assigned to work with Ms. Kirigiri? I don’t think there’s one person left who hasn’t heard about you, they keep talking about it the whole day.” She’s disgruntled and Hinata is not sure if she’s jealous or being her usual self. “You’re supposed to meet her here, right? Just what are you wearing? Have you no shame? Ugh, men… can’t make themselves presentable.”

“I think I did goo—“ Hinata starts, his pride is insulted and before he can argue back, the boy speaks up again, not as confident as before. He looks a bit scared of Mahiru’s defiant stance and stutters weakly.

“U-Um, ma’am, name… please?“

Koizumi let’s her nostrils flare up and she looks like an enraged bull ready to charge at every man in the restaurant and the boy backs away but she just grumbles. “Koizumi Mahiru. I reserved a table for 9.00 pm.”

“Al-alright, and you, sir?”

Koizumi’s head snaps at Hinata like a whip lashing out and she breathes in slowly like it is taking all of her restrain to not lash out. “You mean you can’t even tell your reservation? Don’t fool around! You need to make a good impression on a woman such as Kirigiri. Boy!” Hinata almost has to move to the side because the guy is covering behind his back. “Search for a reservation under the name of Kirigiri Kyoko. 9.00 pm. Sharp. Now.” She bosses him around and the boy lets out a small squeak that sounds like a mouse being stepped on.

Indeed the table was reserved under his future partner’s name, but the little guy just pointed towards the table and lead Koizumi and Saionji to theirs. Hinata felt his mood dropping with every step and no crystal chandeliers or beautiful paintings on light brown walls could make up for it. He just hoped that the detective would be an easy-going and docile person. He did not want to deal with someone like Koizumi all that much. They were settled not too far away, still in Hinata’s vision field, close to the back exit. He saw the two of them giggle and laugh, Koizumi’s face as red as her cherry coloured hair, whenever the small girl took her hand and squeezed their fingers together, laughing so loud that he could still hear it here.

‘They’re on a date obviously…’ Hinata thought to himself and rested his head against his palm, the other hand’s fingertips thrumming the tabletop impatiently. For a second it looked like the two women were about to kiss but his view was obstructed by a very nice and very much female figure. He had to peel his stare away from that short pencil skirt and he looked up at a beautiful woman. She had a pale complexion, her shoulders covered by a leather jacket and Hinata felt like he was the one overdressed here. She was holding onto her black purse, her hands surprisingly covered by black gloves. The woman was tall and had lavender colored hair and eyes. She looked fairly young, far too young to be a detective and Hinata thought that maybe there was some sort of mistake when she spoke up.

“You’re Hinata Hajime, correct?” Her tone was expressionless just like the rest of her face and something told the brown haired man that she wasn’t to be messed with. She looked like a calm, collected and calculative person who didn’t let her emotions get the best of her and Hinata was reminded of every detective novel he’s read ever. He thought that he will like this woman.

“Yes, that would be me.” He stood up for the sake of being polite. The woman eyed him warily as if she was analyzing him, but at last she managed a very tiny smile that barely lasted for a second.

“I’m investigator Kirigiri Kyoko. It is a pleasure to make you an acquaintance.“ the woman’s tone was a bit lighter and the grip of her hand was firm and steady.

“Likewise, Kirigiri-san.”

“Just Kirigiri is fine. We are going to be partners so there is no need for formalities.” She was about to sit down, so Hinata pushed her chair for her. She looked a bit pleasantly shocked like this didn’t happen all that often and quietly muttered a word of thanks. Hinata was glad that his first impression was most likely a good one and even found the time to smile cheekily at Koizumi who was watching them with eagle eyes. She just rolled her gray eyes and turned away.

“You can call me Hinata by the way.” The man sat down as gracefully as he could and Kirigiri just nodded wordlessly. He wasn’t wrong; she wasn’t the one for words. Maybe she will warm up to him with due time.

“I assume that you have followed the events of the murder case on the media, yes?” Hinata nodded and she kept talking. “Everything that you see on the TV, hear on the radio and read in the newspapers is true as far as I am concerned; the police do not leave out any details even the smallest ones, unless they are very important and could cause unnecessary panic. So this brings me to the case. Currently we have little to none information about the string of killings, so the first thing we need is—“

Hinata put his best efforts into listening to Kirigiri talking about the murders for the next hour. He was already checking the things that he would mark and write down the moment he got back. Her take on things was amazing and he felt like she had a similar way of thinking like his own, but sharper. Too bad she didn’t tell him anything that he hadn’t already known. He asked her some questions related to her work and the case which she gladly answered, some of her answers a bit obscure – Hinata figured that the woman wanted him to find out on his own - and the others all clear. They didn’t eat through their whole stay here. When Hinata asked why she chose such a restaurant she merely said that it was a perfect place for private chats such as these. Kirigiri also mentioned that if he wanted to talk to her about the case personally he should pick out a fancy restaurant or just come to the police department. In the end they agreed that in case of an emergency they would meet at the police station. The two of them were beginning to discuss about the murderer’s gender and possible age when Hinata noticed a short chef making his way towards Koizumi and Saionji’s table. He was shorter than an average man or ever teenager with a carefully styled pompadour and Hinata had to blink and rub his eyes a little.

“No way…” he muttered. Kirigiri looked up at him, one eyebrow raised.

“Is there something wrong?”

She looked a bit worried and at the same time offended, because she thought that Hinata brushed away all of her carefully constructed speculations about a male killer.

“No, it’s just that, I saw someone I know. An old friend of mine.” She followed his gaze and turned around to see what Hinata kept looking at and the moment her shimmering curtain of her lavender hair made a sharp ark in the air, the short thick man jumped up as if his senses had picked something up and looked straight ahead, first at the woman and only then at Hinata. His black beady eyes squinted and he looked deep in thought, but then the man brightened up, finally recognizing the person he looked at and rushed over to them.

“Bonjour~” He greeted in French and fixed his hair, not so subtly eyeing Kirigiri. “Hinata, it’s truly been a while. How have you been? What a lovely date you have.” The brown haired man thought that the small one was about to burst like a fountain of drool and fawn over Kirigiri – not even her cold eyes could put the perverted man down - but then he turned at him and waggled his eyebrows suggestively. It didn’t take a genius to know what kinds of words would come from the short man’s mouth and Hinata really did not want to ruin his good first impression so he sputtered. “N-no, she’s not my date. We’re work partners.”

“Sure thing, but love can get around such trivial matters such as partnership.” He didn’t look convinced and Hinata wished that the floors would crack open and swallow him whole so that he could die from embarrassment in peace. He covered his face with both of his hands and looked at Kirigiri who was pointedly staring somewhere over his shoulder, her face stony and eyes unseeing. He had to change the subject. Fast.

“So, Hanamura…. You work here now?”

The short man puffed out his chest in pride. “Yes. My mom opened a new restaurant. This is our newest addition. I work as a chef here.”

“Always helping out in the kitchen…” Hinata smiled and Hanamura laughed, waving his hands in front of his face like a teenager girl.

“And you’re still perceptive as ever. I told you, in case a wedding happens and you want to taste only world class food, invite me and I will do it for free. Your future bride will be all over you after tasting my cooking. Or me. Depends.” That was indeed true. Hanamura made meals worthy for a king’s table, or at least to be placed on a president’s table and he was well known all around the world. The taller man still remembers seeing him on TV and magazines a couple of times, when the chef won a few important contests.

“And I see that you’re the same as always.”

“Indeed I am. A pervert cannot be changed. I take pride in that. It is my duty to appreciate and praise the ladies.”

He didn’t really mean it in a good way though… then again Hanamura was always like this. The short man played by his own rules and didn’t care what the society thought about him. It was either very admirable or very foolish. The short man chattered away happily for a few more minutes, neither one of the table’s occupants paying him much attention and the young chef bowed politely. “Well, I shall leave the two of you alone. Have a pleasant night and I hope you will visit us again soon.”

Hinata could swear that he heard Kirigiri mutter something that sounded suspiciously close to ‘not likely to happen’. The taller one just forced a smile, said his farewells and Hanamura swam back to Koizumi’s table, Saionji looking less than pleased with his presence. He could sympathize. Too much presence of the chef was a bit too obnoxious. Kirigiri just fixed her gloves and without a second thought resumed their conversation right where they had left off. They had a pleasant chat for some time and Hinata was actually getting to know the young detective when the restaurant’s chandeliers flickered a few times and the place was drowned in pitch black darkness, only a few candles flickering eerily in the dimness, distorting the shadows. The woman before him sat as still as she could manage, her lavender eyes growing in size a few times and her pupils dilated. The uneasiness was choking the two table occupants and Hinata knew that he was looking no better. That feeling from before was thickly wrapped around his neck and his heart-beat somewhere in the back of his throat, so loud that he could barely hear his own voice escape him.

“What—“

Before he could even finish the question that he wasn’t sure he wanted to ask, his answer came to him. A shrill horrified scream filled the room. It was a woman’s plead for help and it came from somewhere outside. The man didn’t have time to react before Kirigiri was up on her legs, rushing towards the source of it and Hinata weakly lifted himself up. Panic rippled all over the people gathered, like water’s surface being distorted as the braver ones stood up and followed the detective outside, curious to see what caused the commotion. Lights flickered in the crystal chandeliers and Hinata looked over a sea of shaken people. Some ladies were crying and clinging to their date’s arms, but Hinata didn’t see it all, his gaze focused on a short woman with a bright yellow dress, diving through the cracks of people. Her amber eyes were flooded with tears and Hinata felt dread pool in his stomach when he heard the woman call out to Koizumi. Never would he have thought that the usually bitchy woman could sound so panicked and lost.

And Koizumi…

She was nowhere to be seen.

Hinata’s legs went on autopilot, towards the small crowd pooling outside of the restaurant into a small back alley and he had to push past some burly men when he finally stopped. It felt like the world had frozen and he was the only one there, like all of the colours had faded away to dark grey, the same gray he saw in the photos of the newspaper, taking all but a brilliant red, shining under the porch light. If it were any other situation, the brown haired man would have thought that it was a wonderful contrast, red red red all over, so red it was almost black, Kirigiri’s lean form obscuring the view of a pale body bent in awkward angles lying in a pool of blood, motionless and cold. Hinata thinks about the time he got into a fight and remembers how the heated droplets that were spilling from his aching nose contrasted again the white snow and his vision swims. His knees feel weak and he’s about to pass out because this is exactly what he was afraid of, this is exactly why he never wanted to get involved in the first place and now he was too deep in this shit to get out and people he knew were getting dragged into it.

Koizumi Mahiru was dead.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, as I said before: FAST UPDATES. the next two chapters will be out sometime this week. At least I hope so?   
> In this chapter we will get some vaaaague Komahinas -laughs- This story doesn't really focus on romance (at first that is). The relationship might be too fast paced, but this is what I am aiming for. Enjoy.  
> Emabro, you work, hon.

Another innocent person was dragged into the vicious and never-ending cycle and Hinata was pretty sure that he was about to throw up when he heard Saionji’s girly voice getting closer, searching for a woman that she won’t ever get the chance to talk to again, but the colour and the sound quickly returned when he felt Kirigiri’s palm against his chest holding him up, keeping his sanity.

“Don’t look. Take in deep breaths.“ she instructed with a cold voice and Hinata immediately obeyed, closing his eyes, but it was useless. He could still see the shining red, the image of his co-worker, his friend, still burning in his retinas. “Good… keep repeating. Count to three and again. Stay upright, Hinata.”

Her emotionless voice brought him back down to earth and he felt his own mind clearer. The volume suddenly went up a few notches; some shouts to call the hospital, horrified gasps and cries filling his head. Hinata bit back the urge to silence them all, he wanted them to just go away and stop staring and when he risked opening his eyes, he saw Saionji next to him completely still. She looked like she was about to faint and with a cry she rushed forward, but Hinata was quick to catch her by the wrist.

“Let me go, you idiot, let go let go! Sis! Big sis! …Mahiru!” the desperate shout of the red haired woman’s name sent another wave of nausea crashing down Hinata’s stomach and he felt reality weight him down even further. The small woman was strong and it took him all he could to keep her down. Kirigiri wouldn’t appreciate anyone interfering with her work and destroying any possible evidence with their inability to control their emotions. The man didn’t know what to say, he wasn’t sure if he should even say anything at all. The sorrow was overtaking the girl and her attempts to get away soon turned weak and ceased altogether. She slumped on her knees, her body shaking and Hinata crouched down beside her, trying his best to be supportive but she just shoved him and rubbed the tears away.

“Who… who did this? Who the fuck did this!? Who dared… to hurt big sis like this…? I’ll kill them. I’ll kill them!” she was trying to pull out her blond hair.

“I’m sure we’ll find the culprit soon, calm down…” Hinata tried lamely and looked over at Kirigiri who was inspecting the scene of the crime, her gloves changed by latex ones. It wasn’t long before the police showed up and tried to peel the young detective away, but she simply threw her badge at them and kept on with her work, eyebrows creased. Through a thick fog that was covering his mind, Hinata barely heard the sounds of ambulance and he didn’t even register when the small girl left his side, only to be stopped by a few officers and he watched as they put his friend, a woman that he’s known for so long inside a black bag and zipped it up. The crowd was forcefully pushed away and he barely heard someone calling out to him, covering him in a scratchy blanket and manhandling him away from the blood smeared alley.

Despite of the scratchy blanket he still felt cold and he was shaking all over. Questions flew left and right and he barely heard any of them, didn’t even bother to answer most of them. The blues and reds hurt his eyes and he saw Saionji being questioned just a couple of feet away, before she was ushered next to him. She covered herself in the same blanket that he was given, curled up like a little frightened hedgehog and sobbed. Hinata didn’t have the strength to say anything to her so he sat in semi silence as still as he could and drifted in and out of consciousness, now that the events of the day had finally caught up with him, when he saw Kirigiri before him with her hands crossed over her chest. 

Hinata saw her pink lipstick covered lips move as she said something to Saionji and another officer helped the sniffling girl up and they were soon gone in the mass of people that just grew bigger with every second. Instructions were being sent left and right, paramedics running around and officers whispering among themselves. Kirigiri just stood before him and Hinata refused the urge to curl into himself further. He had a feeling what the investigator would say and he wasn’t wrong when she began speaking, her voice even more emotionless than before. “I know that this must be hard for you. It is only your first day working on the case and you already had to witness something so cruel, but I suggest that you keep your emotions intact.” Hinata felt something inside of him snap and he glared at the woman.

“Just how the hell can you tell me to keep calm at a time like this!? I… I am no robot and the woman that lost her life today was my co-worker, my friend, so I am sorry if I might seem a little out of it.” He bit back bitterly and Kirigiri looked at him with such sadness in her eyes that he felt like shit for scolding her. “I can’t stay calm like yourself, detective.”

“It is a necessity in this line of work and you should take all of my advice into consideration, it will help you to stay level-headed. We can’t have you going weak in the knees every time a murder happens and you will surely witness even more of them in the near future. I’m sorry for your loss, I truly am, but I want you to realize that this might not be related to the infamous mass murderer at all, thus you shouldn’t blame yourself.”

Hinata had to blink at that. He stared at the woman as if she had grown another head but just when he was about to ask he heard Saionji’s voice somewhere behind the car howl with anger.

“Murderer! You killed her!”

The commotion got even worse and Hinata stared with wide eyes, but couldn’t make out the culprit’s voice. There was a muffled slam of the car doors being closed shut and the howl of police sirens grew quieter with every meter of distance put in-between. He felt that feeling again, like his neck was being wrapped in wires until he couldn’t breathe. He sucked a lungful of air and slowly exhaled it through his nose, but the fear didn’t stop.

“So… you caught a suspect?”

He didn’t need to see the detective’s face to know that she tensed up. “Yes, we have a suspect, but something just... doesn’t add up. He doesn’t have a convincing alibi as to where he was right before the murder happened. The victim got intense chest pains at somewhere around 11.25 pm. She had severe hazel nut allergies and they were used in a dish that she ordered so according to her friend she got out to get some fresh air. Her murderer opened the back door for her.”

There it was again, stronger than before, that feeling of impending sense of doom. “H-Hey now… d-don’t tell me—“

No no no, he had enough for one night, no more…

“The one suspected for Koizumi Mahiru’s murder is Hanamura Teruteru.”

Hinata could pinpoint the exact moment where all of his common sense disappeared as if it never existed to begin with. “Th-that’s just ridiculous. We talked to him; he was present the whole time, wasn’t he…? He couldn’t have done that! I don’t believe it, there has to be some sort of mistake.”

With a deep sigh Kirigiri sat down next to him and smoothed her skirt. “I don’t think that he could’ve done it either, Hinata, but for now all of the evidence is pointing towards him, plus his lack of alibi… Koizumi received a series of slashes with what seems to be a professional cooking knife, judging from the width of the wounds. However, those weren’t the fatal blows that killed her; she was stabbed a few times in the chest area. The murder was a messy one, but just as I suspected, no other clues were found at the scene of the crime so we had to go for the slash wounds as our only indicator. They must be really desperate to find a culprit. Fast. The panic that has taken hold of many people out there… I don’t think I’ve ever seen everyone so uneasy.” Kirigiri fell silent, her face melancholic and Hinata threw off the old blanket away, his mind working overtime. 

There had to be loopholes in this story. There was no way that Hanamura could do something like this. He was never the aggressive kind… and to hurt a lady? No way.

“Just because the wounds were caused with some sort of professional kitchen knife, we do not know for sure if it was Hanamura… It could be anyone! We don’t even know what kind of knife was used…”

“You have a good way of thinking, Hinata.” There was that hint of a smile gracing her lips again. “But apparently there were eyewitnesses. Myself included. I saw how he led her to the back entrance of the restaurant. The victim was pale and she looked like she had some difficulties breathing. Then that power outage happened, which was no coincidence. It made the job easier and with all of the confusion caused, no one would walk in on a murder. It was all planned out perfectly. The security camera footage was useless and didn’t show much. Hanamura couldn’t explain where he was during the outage. It was enough for him to get arrested. But there are ways to know for sure if he was the one, but we will have to wait for the results of autopsy.“ Just the mere thought of a lifeless Koizumi being slashed at for the sake to find out who was the person that did this to her made Hinata sick. Everything was just wrong and disgusting and he bit back the bile that inevitably began rise up his throat. Kirigiri frowned and stood up to look at her partner’s face. “Are you feeling well?”

“No.” the brown haired man just moaned weakly and closed his eyes, willing the nausea to go away. His head was pounding and Kirigiri covered her mouth behind her black silk covered fingers, deep in thought.

“I will return to the scene of the crime. There must be something that we are missing here. If Hanamura isn’t a professional killer then there will have to be more clues. Murders such as these cannot be executed with utmost perfection unless you’ve been doing this for years. The results should be up tomorrow. My concern right now is… Hinata, are you sure that you can handle working on this case? Maybe you should just resign while you still can. Your mental state and health worries me. This kind of environment, this atmosphere isn’t the one for you.”

She patiently waited for an answer, hands crossed and Hinata thought about it. His mind was screaming at him to take up the detective’s offer and abandon his duties for a peaceful life, as peaceful as it can get after one of his friends was murdered in cold blood and another one was blamed. He should just be a mediocre nobody working for Togami with no pay raise, it was better than dying young. What if he pushed even more people close to him into a deathly danger? It was possible with a psychopath on the loose. He agreed with the young detective, something vital was missing. Maybe it was his own refusal to believe that someone like Hanamura could take another person’s life. Maybe it was the denial. He wasn’t sure.

But at the same time, now that people, who were close to him, were involved—

“I won’t abandon my duties. I won’t let people get blamed for something they did not do and I will help you figure this out. I don’t wish more innocent lives taken away in this gamble, and now that some people that… were close to me are involved… it only makes sense that I want to help.” He tried to stand up on his shaky legs, knees still not fully holding him up and he used the side of the ambulance car for some support. “I’ll be on my way now…”

“Don’t be a fool.” The woman’s voice was stern and the grip on his left arm was strong. “You’re in no condition to drive. Just leave your transport here and I’ll drive you home. We’ll have to meet tomorrow either way.”

Glad that he won’t have to drive home, cowering that he might crash into some lamppost, or even worse, some passerby, Hinata agreed and followed the detective towards one of the police cars. The moment they started moving he felt his eyes close.

Maybe all of this was just a bad dream. A bad dream that he will surely wake up from only to discover that Koizumi was safe and sound. Alive and still her usual bossy self. They will get coffee together and she will complain about some little things, but in the end they will be laughing at something incredibly dumb and silly.

But some dreams just don’t come true. Koizumi was gone, one of his friends was framed for a murder and nothing will ever be the same.

\- -

The next day Hinata woke up with a start. He was drenched in cold sweat. He felt even worse than he did the day before; the fact that all of this wasn’t a simple nightmare crushed his hopes into smithereens. He rubbed the small annoying tears prickling away at the corners of his eyes. He couldn’t afford to cry, he had a job to do. He had a culprit’s identity to discover and in order to do that he should take Kirigiri’s advice and control his emotions before they could control him. He saved the woman’s contact info and slowly dragged his feet to the small kitchenette.

He needed coffee. Lots of it. Extra strong too.

After drinking at least four cups, he realized that the drink had the opposite effect than he wanted. The pounding in his ears got louder, he could hear himself breathe and the claw-like grip on his throat got even worse. He willed himself to fall asleep and woke up to the feeling of his phone vibrating in his hand with Kirigiri’s message.

With a groan he got dressed, didn’t really bother to take a shower and made his way towards the bus stop. It was going to be a painfully long journey and he couldn’t wait to get on his bike.

The police station, that she directed him to, was merely a block away from the restaurant at where the murder had happened. Hinata side eyed the darkened alley, swimming with curious people, police and journalists. He wondered just how the hell Kirigiri could return to such a place for further investigation after everything that had happened.

The woman didn’t look any different than the day before, unlike Hinata who was sporting black bags beneath his eyes and his appearance was messier than usual, but the woman didn’t seem to mind. She was dressed in casual clothes and Hinata was a bit shocked because he had imagined the woman to be the type of person to wear a police uniform. He expected at least a long trench coat like those detectives in old movies. However she was sporting neither a trench coat nor a plaid hat, but the same jacket that she wore yesterday still in place, a skirt that was only slightly different than the day before and her high heels were exchanged for long boots. She curtly greeted him and led him inside. People were staring at him with hostile looks in their eyes and Hinata figured that they all knew who he was and they didn’t approve of the media poking their insanely long nose into the case. His eyes only brightened when he saw a familiar form of his friend. She approached him, her arms full of multicoloured files.

“…Hinata. So good to see you here… A pleasant surprise. Then again I don’t think that it's pleasant for you… being here that is…” She yawned loudly and blinked away the tears at the corners of her eyes and Hinata felt awake.

“Chiaki. “ he nodded his head in acknowledgement and the woman just yawned again. She looked just as tired as he felt and the pauses in her voice were longer than usual. “You’re working on… Koizumi’s case?” The man swallowed heavily when he saw the photo of the redhead’s mangled body peeking out from the corner of one of the many files. As if sensing his gaze, the pink haired woman pushed the photo back where it belonged and fixed the files in her hands.

“I sure am. Trying to figure out our mystery killer… There’s good news, we almost caught him… Ms. Kirigiri will tell you more… You shouldn’t give up hope just yet, Hinata. We’ll work this out… If you have any questions just ring me up, I’ll be glad to answer them.” The man was glad that he knew his friend for so long because the jerk of one of her shoulders betrayed her true intentions, an unspoken ‘I’ll give you more info’ hanging in the air even though the girl’s face remained impassive. Kirigiri cleared her throat, obviously wanting to move along and Hinata muttered ‘thanks’ as he was almost dragged away from the woman.

“She’s the one who you keep in contact with?” the detective asked curiously.

“Yeah. Doesn’t really matter at the moment. What did she mean by ‘we almost caught him’? So the suspect wasn’t Hanamura after all?” he was pushed inside an empty office and the doors were closed behind him as the woman motioned for him to sit. Kirigiri made herself comfortable and looked at the man before her, gazes meeting dead on, eyes expressionless.

“Before we start discussing the matter, I suggest you give me your listening equipment and the recorder.” Hinata felt cool sweat collect at his forehead and he tried to force a smile but it turned into a half shocked grimace. “H-How—“

“The cord is peeking from behind your shirt. If you ever want to record conversations properly without the other person knowing it, make sure no wires are out of place.” She waved the turned off recorder, which Hinata had begrudgingly placed on the table. “This type of conversation isn’t supposed to be out in the open and I am about to give you classified info here. Just as that hacker girl with impressive skills said before, we have another suspect and if it goes well we can rule out Hanamura completely. He shall be released.”

The man let out a sigh of relief. So it wasn’t him just like he thought. “As I said before I had returned to the scene of the crime early in the morning and searched for clues one more time in case I was missing something. Everything was the same as yesterday, but then I found something interesting. I decided to check the sewer; sometimes the culprits get rid of things that prove they're guilty and I was correct. We found remains of a mask, it was almost completely ruined and almost fell apart the moment we pulled it out, but without a doubt there were some droplets of the victim’s blood on it. Not only that, there was a serial number and your friend with another specialist worked all night in order to find the one who sold it and to whom. The mask's origins were traced back to an old antique shop. We need further expertise to find out who bought it and fully determine the criminal, but if my suspicions are correct, the one who killed Koizumi Mahiru is a woman. A professional killer to boot. You were familiar with her right? Did she have any enemies?”

The man thought about it for a moment, thinking carefully about what he should say. “Well… it wasn’t exactly like we were that close. We weren’t really friends, co-workers is more like it… I think I am not the right person to tell you that. She never complained about other girls though, so I assume she didn’t have any enemies? Anyways, why a woman? Were there any special traits to the way Koizumi… was killed?”

Kirigiri looked deep in thought, lost in her own world. “There’s something in the way that the murder was executed… such an obvious place — none of this is of importance at the moment, we can talk about it tomorrow or if we are lucky - today. I have another detective helping me out and we had discussed the matter regarding the culprit’s gender. I apologize, but I can’t give out much details. The body check was completed. The victim wasn’t slashed with a kitchen knife as I would have initially thought, but a katana. We thought that there was no way that Hanamura could’ve done it with a katana, but his mother has three impressive Edo period katanas hanged on the wall in her office on the second floor. We didn’t do well with questioning the suspect, he needed medical care. The shocking trauma was too much to handle. However that is not enough to assume that he isn’t at fault, many criminals are well known for their complex mental stability, some of them talk themselves into believing that they didn’t do it. Some witnesses say that they had seen a suspicious looking woman entering the back alley too, but none of them could determine the exact hour and minute so it could be right about anyone. Dates are important. We have also found this.” Kirigiri opened a manila file that she had seemingly summoned out of thin air and pushed a small photograph across the table for the reporter to look at. With trembling fingers he turned it over, fearing what might be in it, but it merely proved to be a photo of some sort of… 

“A stuffed toy…? A bear…? “

It was a carefully crafted thing, but it was something about the way it looked that made Hinata’s back shiver. One side of the small stuffed toy was white and looked like your usual teddies that little girls dragged around and the other was black. That side of the bear sported a wicked grin and a deformed eye. The thing couldn’t be bigger than his little finger.

“This is what they call Monokuma or simply Monobear. It's a popular brand amongst teenage girls back in America, not well known here. I asked the victim’s friend about it and she swore that Koizumi never owned something like this. The other detectives say that it is only a coincidence that she had this stuffed toy, but I’d like to disagree. I think that this murder, this thing, links us back to the infamous mass murderer. Some male and female victims had this stuffed in pockets of their pants or shirts, in their bags, dropped near the scene of a crime. Not all of them though. This is meant to look like a meaningless thing, but I am sure that there’s more to the story and I will find out what it is." She sounded determined and her statement was so powerful that Hinata felt just a bit more hopeful too.

He fully understood why Togami respected the lavender eyed woman. 

She was perceptive and didn’t overlook the slightest of details. It was all thanks to her way of thinking outside the box that they had found a clue, so carelessly left behind by the culprit. Hinata looks at the photo and flashes of his nightmares begin resurfacing in his mind. 

Eerie darkness, red splattered all across the black void and someone laughing. 

He remembers hands choking him until he couldn’t breathe, remembers a voice against his ears. He’s like a chess piece on a big board pushed around by unseen force and he’s just another rook to be sacrificed. Koizumi looks at him with lifeless gray eyes and her body bends and cracks where her joints break, the blood keeps oozing from the slash wounds and it is up to his legs. He can’t run away so he closes his eyes instead and listens to the red haired woman trying to breathe with her crushed lungs and the more she tries, the more her body rattles. There’s a certain grimness that claws at his body in form of sweat and he’s not sure he wants to see the horrid images of his friends dying again.

Kirigiri senses the change in mood and dismisses him, says that she will call him if anything new comes up. Hinata slowly drags himself down the corridor when Chiaki approaches him and places her palm on his shoulder. “I’m on my break. Let’s go grab a bite?”

He agrees, feeling warmth flood him when his friend touches him and they leave the building together.

There’s a lovely coffee shop nearby so they make a beeline towards it without debating about their choice. Chiaki slowly chews on her chicken sandwich as Hinata engages in a battle with his pullover. It suddenly turned hot. Far too hot to wear layers anyways. Chiaki got rid of her jacket the moment they stepped inside and now she is staring at him with a vacant look in her eyes.

“What?” he asks and wipes at his face. Chiaki had always found immense entertainment in watching him getting crumbs stuck on his lower lip and never saying anything until the last moment. She just shook her head and took another tiny bite of her sandwich chewing it far too long than it was normal. They sat in silence until she decided that it was good enough to swallow, took a sip of her black tea and spoke up. “You’re shaken up. I can see that…”

“Who wouldn’t be? You knew Koizumi too, didn’t you? What happened to her was terrible… and there wasn’t anything that I could do for her. When we got there—“

“She was no longer alive, yes. You needn’t tell me the details I already know everything that’s happened… probably more than you do. “She managed a small self satisfied smile. “Tell you what, Hanamura isn’t guilty. He’s just afraid, I mean who wouldn’t be? It’s a good thing that Miss Kirigiri decided to check out the sewer. If she hadn’t then he would be stuck in jail for a loooo—“she yawned again. ”…ngaaah while.

“There’s one thing I don’t understand. They have more than enough evidence to know that Hanamura is most likely innocent.”

“That’s the point, Hinata. ‘Most likely’ isn’t the same as ‘for sure’. And they need to be absolutely sure that they are not letting a criminal walk around after killing an innocent girl. But I have to agree with our detective… He’s not at fault and the whole murder links back to the mass murderer. I heard they want to call it the ‘Despair Syndrome’ case?”

“A bit tasteless... but true.” Hinata snorted and Chiaki nodded her head in agreement.

“Yeah, I’m not really a fan of that name myself. If I had to pick a name I’d go for ‘The Monobear Cases’ or something like that.”

“Sounds like a video game to me.” Chiaki’s face brightened up at that and she nodded eagerly, seemingly livelier than she was just a second ago.

“Oh, it would be pretty cool too I guess, that is, if people weren’t dying in real life. It would make an awesome RPG.”

“Too bad this is actually happening and we aren’t allowed to be careless. There are murders happening at hand.” The girl just puffed out one cheek and her eyebrows creased.

“Boo, you’re no fun. I wanted to cheer you up a little, but since you’re being Mr. No-fun-allowed-like-ever again, then we can be all serious. “

“I think you would be serious too if Fujisaki was killed right before your own eyes.”

She gripped her cup tight and her eyes looked watery for a moment. “I don’t even want to imagine that… I am not going to argue about this one. So let’s not. I’d also like if you shared some information that Kirigiri entrusted to you? Did you find out something new?”

She leaned in, her eyes twinkling with curiosity and Hinata leaned in too, looked her dead in the eyes and said. “Classified info. No children allowed.”

She stuck her tongue out. “Excuse me? I am about to tell you what I found out and you won’t give me any small details in return? No fair.”

“Consider this a punishment for that time we got drunk and you filmed it and then showed it to everyone.”

“…You must admit it was fun.”

“It was absolutely not. “

“You vengeful shit.”

“I do that.” Hinata grinned and Chiaki blew her cheeks out, but decided that it was enough of the teasing. “I’m sorry; I seriously can’t tell you much. She made me swear. Not to mention I am not even allowed to write about those little stuffed bears that they find near the vics. You do know about those things, right?”

“Oh yeah, I don't think a lot of people know about those creepy stuffed toys. Like… maybe three people or so. Actually I am not even supposed to know about them, but I have my ways. I looked them up. Apparently those stuffed toys are rather popular in America, not Mickey Mouse kind of popular, but they are getting there. In Japan mostly emo girls wear Monobear’s accessories; I noticed a lot of teenagers with hair ties that had Monobear on them. Makes me wonder if our culprit is actually a teenage girl. If not a murderer then maybe the mastermind pulling at the strings.” She placed her head in her palm and looked through the window.

“You mean like the school girl with the whole Genocider Syo case a few years ago?”

“Yeah… I guess someone like that. Except that this murderer doesn’t choose only prepubescent teenage boys. Anyone can die. You don’t even have to be guilty or anything. There’s no pattern among the victims. There are no leads. Most of the department thinks that the Monobear toy is just a joke and refuses to take it into consideration and classify it as a clue. There’s also the fact that somehow I don’t think that whoever is doing this is the same killer from the early murders.”

“Why would you say that?” Hinata blinked at the girl owlishly but she still refused to look at him.

“…I mean, it is just a hunch, but the ways those people were killed… they’re different. The very first victims were mostly shot. No ammunition was wasted on them, just a clean shot through the head or the heart. Sometimes from far away, sometimes close by. Whoever did this had a good aim. And now we have a ‘Slasher’ movie. Intestines scattered, bodies slashed beyond recognition, mutilated corpses, and stuffed toys all over the place. It’s like the culprit has given up on trying doing everything perfectly, like they want to be discovered. It is like they’re dropping the hints all over the place. It’s just… not the same, you know? I am no expert, but I think that whoever this person is… he or she is getting desperate. It gives a vibe that there’s more than one person involved… it is a world full of crime and not all of them can be solved that easily.”

“Chiaki.”

The girl blinks sleepily and turns towards the brown haired man. Hinata frowns and his golden eyes are cold. “What is it…?”

“You should just stop prying into this so much… They call this a cursed case for a reason and I don’t want you to end up getting sucked into this spiral of bad luck. Just — don’t interfere that much and let Kirigiri do her work. Whoever is pulling the strings, they are not stupid. They’ll find you out for sure and when they do... Just promise me that you won’t end up like Koizumi. Promise.” He holds her by the shoulders and he’s just as desperate as he is determined. Chiaki sinks lower into her chair.

“You worry too much, Hajime. I’ll be fine. I’m not going to get myself killed and I don’t feel any joy in looking at my acquaintances’ torn bodies caught on photos. Plus I won’t go around telling everyone about the case, I’ll keep this to myself. You’re the only one who knows what I think and it is only my personal opinion. We don't know for sure. Feel free to share what I said with the investigator, I’m sure she’ll take this into consideration. “ she pries those cool hands away and finishes up her tea. Hinata takes it as a queue to finish up his own coffee. They need to leave, Chiaki’s break is ending. They pay for their drinks, the woman pays for her sandwich and they step out into the cool October air. The people are in a hurry to get home before it gets dark, and the strong breeze sends a spiral of withered golden leaves dancing around the sidewalk. She looks at him for a moment, her hair is ruffled by the wind and the girl gives him a quick hug.

“Be careful. Don’t get yourself into trouble.”

“I won’t. I should be the one saying that too.”

They hold each other for a moment and Hinata realizes that this is exactly what he needs. They both need it. Human contact soothes his frazzled nerves and he lets himself forget for a moment. She merely smiles at him, lets go and speed walks away. Hinata watches her disappear behind the corner of the street and unwillingly trudges back to the restaurant from his worst nightmares. He still needs to get his motorcycle.

\- -

Hinata tries his best not to look at the building and he’s glad that he parked his bike on the other side of the street so if he wants to keep calm all he has to do is not look. It feels like a week has passed since the incident even though it’s barely been twenty four hours. Hinata feels tired and weary and his anger kicks in when he realizes that the god damned thing just won’t come back to life. He abuses the engine, but it only roars, lets out black smoke followed by a dull purr and it dies again.

If he wasn’t balancing on a motorcycle he would be banging his head against the nearest concrete surface. It’s getting dark now, very fast too and there’s a prickling sense of fear and uneasiness, and who the hell wouldn’t be afraid? Especially after witnessing a murder that happened right on the other side of the road barely a day ago. Hinata lets out a strangled cry of rage and tries again but nothing happens.

“Shit. Come on, come on, you can do this, baby, just don’t give up. Why now of all times? Does the universe hate me or something?” He starts the engine but there’s only a puff of smoke and no roaring reaches his ears. His ride had died completely. “Well fuck you too, you useless piece of shit.” He kicks the stand in place and climbs off.

Dread settles somewhere in the back of his stomach. He couldn’t afford to get his ride fixed, he was already low on money this month and God knew if Togami was ready to pay him now that he threw him into the lion’s den. Maybe not until he came up with a story? But that could take ages! Hinata made a mental note to pester his boss about it later and thought vaguely if he should just leave his motorcycle be and catch a ride home before it turned pitch black when there was a voice right behind him.

“Do you need a hand?”

“Shit!” He could have sworn that he had a heart attack right then right there. Almost jumped out of his skin too! He turned around at the speed of light, fast enough to hurt his neck anyways, only to be faced with some sort of pale-ass fellow. The guy before him was just a tiny bit taller, thin as a stick and Hinata swore that he had never seen hair like that before, so white it almost hurt his eyes in the evening’s dimness. His attire was just as beat up as Hinata’s own, hands stuffed inside his pockets. The man watched him with his big green eyes, a curious glint in them and had a small smile etched on his face, but it was quickly replaced by sheepishness once he saw the brown haired man’s fearful expression. Those pale hands quickly left the warmth of his coat’s pockets and the man held them up against his chest as if he was trying to calm a ferocious dog.

“Ah! I’m sorry for startling you like that. I just saw that you were having some trouble and I thought I could be of some help… Is there anything I can do? I don’t really have much knowledge about mechanics per se, but I used to own a motorcycle and—“

Hinata still eyed the stranger warily. The stranger’s body language was very expressive and he didn’t have the whole criminal vibe around him, but his nerves hadn’t backed away. It wasn’t every day that some random – quite good looking too - stranger approached him and decided to help him out. Not to mention in a street where murders happened, so Hinata thinks that he is to be forgiven for feeling so cautious. The man before him stilled and scratched his cheek. “It’s okay. I’m not anyone suspicious. “He said, still waving his arms. Was the man a mind reader or some shit? “I just thought that I could help you out, but I understand why you’re so cautious. Besides, it is getting dark and you shouldn’t be here. My name’s Komaeda Nagito!” the man fidgeted a little as if contemplating if he should offer a hand to shake or not, but decided against it.

‘That’s actually rather adorable.’ Hinata fervently shook his head to get rid of weird thoughts and faced the man. “You give out your name to some stranger you’ve never met. For all you know I could be the suspicious one here.” he drawled out and Komaeda brightened up.

“I know that you’re no one suspicious. At least, I don’t feel like you are? So can I help you?”

“Uh… sure.” Hinata watched Komaeda elegantly straddle his motorcycle -with far more grace than Hinata himself anyways - and he waved his thin fingers as an indicator for the keys. Hinata hesitated for a moment and Komaeda let out a quiet laugh. “Don’t worry; I’m not going to steal it. I’ll try to check what the problem is.”

He should really stop reading his mind. Hinata mentally berated himself for trusting strangers so fast. It was a bit of a bad habit, but it also helped him to develop friendships. Komaeda didn’t look like the type of person who would try to deceive him. He looked rather honest.

This time the engine roared a bit livelier than when Hinata tried, but the end result was the same. The taller man made a low humming sound in the back of his throat that made the hairs on the back of Hinata’s neck stand up and tried to start the engine again, but nothing happened. The brown haired man refused to look at the taller one when he slid off of his beloved ride and circled it one more time for good measure.

“If my suspicions are correct, there’s nothing major. There’s most likely some problems with the contacts. I don’t think it will be costly to fix it. Also it is a bit too late for any services work at this hour, so you’ll have to leave the bike and then return tomorrow. In the mean time I suggest you go home, umm…?” he tilted his head to the side and Hinata had to stop thinking that it was cute right now.

“Hinata Hajime.”

“Ah well, nice to meet you, Hinata-kun. “

This time he did offer his hand and without hesitation the shorter man took it. Komaeda’s palm was hot, far too hot than it should be normal, like the guy had an intense fever or he was very hot in that coat… Not in that kind of sense.

Hinata smiled a little. “Thanks for checking. I should be going now.”

He didn’t really like the mere thought of that, but it was better if he hurried the hell up. It was already getting too dark to see and the streetlights began shining orange. He fixed the strap of his messenger bag on one shoulder and turned away from the man, but that heated palm was quick to catch his wrist. The taller one had startled him and he couldn’t help the fearful shiver that ran down his spine. It wasn’t like he trusted Komaeda one hundred percent. It wasn’t like he was about to trust every handsome stranger that offered to fix his motorcycle for him. For all he knew that couldn’t even be his real name, there were all kinds of liars out there. He slowly exhaled through his mouth to calm down the sudden jump of his heart and thought about how he fucked this up and he might end up getting attacked, and not only that, it was just his super awesome luck that the street was void of any life at that very moment.

But nothing came, no stabs with sharp object, no hits. Komaeda let go of his wrist just as suddenly as he grabbed it.

“No, don’t go yet. I…" He chewed on his bottom lip and hesitated. ”I could also drive you home if you’d like. I really don’t want someone… someone as amazing as you to walk out in the dark like this. You never know what might happen.”

Hinata completely tuned out the last sentence, his brain stopping at the ‘someone as amazing as you’. Was the man… flirting with him!? Was that why he approached him in the first place? Hinata clasped both of his hands around the strap of his messenger bag, his face at least eight shades of red.

“Are you completely positive you’re not someone suspicious…?” Hinata tried to sound at least somewhat unaffected, face still red. He knew that he didn’t look good while blushing; Chiaki said that he looked like he was in extreme pain or at least had a severe stomach ache, but the taller one still looked like he was just blessed or something as silly as that, all starry-eyed.

“I don’t think so.” Was Komaeda’s cryptic response and he pointed his thumb somewhere behind him. “So is that a yes, Hinata-kun?”

“I don’t think I should be saying this, but okay. I still don’t trust you completely.”

“That’s fine. You don’t need to trust any trash that approaches you.” Komaeda chirped, but there was something sinister in his voice, something dark about the way he looked ahead like he knew some sort of secret that Hinata hadn’t. The brown haired man thought that he had enough of assumptions for one day and that he should give it a rest. Someone was offering him a ride home. He should be thankful.

\- -

The ride home was a bit tense. Hinata still felt his shoulders hurting from the way his back stood as straight as a column. Unlike Hinata, Komaeda looked completely relaxed and Hinata could have sworn that he heard the taller one hum at some point. It was a nice, pleasant sound and Hinata thought to himself that maybe Komaeda also had a nice singing voice. He had a very attractive voice in general. It made him even more desirable and completed his whole image.

When his apartment complex appeared in his field of vision Hinata felt his own shoulders relax and the car ride was over far too soon than he would’ve liked.

“Well. That’s my stop.” Hinata said and Komaeda looked a bit like a kicked puppy when the brown haired man opened the door and climbed out. He was about to shut them, but then thought, fuck it; he was feeling pretty adventurous tonight anyway, so he might as well.

He bent down so that he could get a good look at the driver’s face and tried to sound as nonchalant as possible.

“You know if you’re in no rush to get home or be somewhere you could… um… how about a cup of coffee or some tea? If you’re okay with t —“

He didn’t need to finish the sentence. Komaeda’s eyes brightened up a little and he smiled brightly. “I’d love to.”

The eagerness truly reminded the short man of an excited puppy that’s been told he’ll go for a walk. In record time the man was out of his car and he was following Hinata, dutifully keeping up without falling behind. The shorter man patted his pockets, fished out his keys and unlocked the door, but for some reason his guest didn’t follow. Komaeda swayed on his heels, bit his lip and hesitantly stepped inside. Hinata smothered the urge to raise an eyebrow at that.

It was a bit strange… then again Komaeda was strange in general so he shouldn’t pay much attention to him. The white haired man was curiously looking around and Hinata was glad that he had cleaned the place up a bit before he left for work a few days ago. It wasn’t completely spotless, but cleaning wasn’t one of his strong points. Komaeda looked like he couldn’t care less about the slight mess, mindlessly laced off his boots and Hinata padded to the kitchenette to make them hot drinks. He saw Komaeda turn around his axis so that he could take his surroundings in better. “You have a lovely apartment, Hinata-kun.”

“You can stop with the flattery now. It won’t get you anywhere.” Hinata smiled, but the white haired man did not see it, occupying himself with examining something.

“It’s not flattery. I’m merely speaking my mind. Though it is a bit empty and it lacks… I don’t know, order, I guess? I mean the type of order a woman provides… By any chance do you live alone?”

“Yes, I do. I like it better that way.”

“No pretty lady to conquer your generous heart?” Ahh there it was again that warm smile with a mischievous edge to it and that playful, flirty tone. Hinata found himself blushing. Again.

“None that I know of.”

“They don’t know what they’re missing out on.” The taller man traced his finger over the smooth surface of the small table and Hinata turned away to make some coffee. There was a moment of silence as the water boiled in the kettle, but it wasn’t an unpleasant one. Komaeda’s gaze followed every tiny movement the shorter man made as he roamed the cabinets in search for something and cleaned up some things.

“I’d like some tea if that’s alright?” the shorter one yelped and almost jumped out of his skin for the second time that evening. The taller man was right behind him, innocently looking over his shoulder and the shorter one cursed Komaeda out for walking around so soundlessly, like—like some sort of ninja.

“Do you ever get tired of doing that?” he huffed and poured the water, careful no to burn himself. He should get a new kettle too. One more thing to add on the endless list of ‘things I can’t live without that need to be replaced’.

“Huh?” Komaeda blinked owlishly, honestly confused. “Doing what?”

“Well… That! Creeping up on people when they least expect it.”

“Oh…” The man backed away and settled on the chair next to Hinata’s small table, while the master of the house fervently stirred the drinks. “I get told that quite often. I don’t really have control over it. It’s good to have some stealth skills; you can never know when they might come in handy. It wasn’t my intention to startle you.”

“It would be fine if you made some sort of noise. It would be less creepy. “ Hinata grumbled carefully balancing them to not spill any on his shirt.

“If I was completely honest here, I’d say that I sometimes find immense entertainment in the way they react.” It was said with utter joy and Hinata bristled.

“So you really are doing this on purpose!”

“You don't know me well enough to assume that.” The man smiled cheekily and carefully took his cup of tea from Hinata’s hand. He sips on the scorching hot liquid, lets out a content sigh and Hinata is pretty sure that Komaeda would huddle up on the chair like a cat but his long legs are in the way and there’s not enough space.

“C’mon, let’s go. The sofa is way better.” Hinata says and suddenly realizes just how… wrong that sounded.

Komaeda snickers quietly and hides his smile behind the cup. “Taking the initiative, Hinata-kun? I would’ve never thought that you would be such an assertive and… dominant person.” Komaeda teases and Hinata feels as if he stuck a metal pin into a socket.

“You know damn well that this is not what I meant!”

“I take things as they’re said. Sometimes I need some explaining, one word or sentence can have a lot of different meanings. I like interpreting things my own way.”

Hinata’s heart races when Komaeda stands close, yet still not close enough to invade his personal space, but there is something about his tone that makes Hinata feel like he’s boiling inside. For a second Hinata thinks that Komaeda is perhaps getting closer and it feels like the type of tension before a kiss and for some reason he doesn’t shuffle away, firmly stands his ground, but the man merely smiles, the fragile moment disappears and he brushes past Hinata’s frozen form. The shorter one hears him shuffle around and when he risks a glance behind his back, Komaeda is comfortably nestled on his sofa. He pats the space next to him, his knees pulled up to his chest and there is something calming about the way the white steam rises from the cup and brushes against the taller one’s pale face. Hinata settles down next to him, as far as he can and they spend some time in comfortable silence. Hinata listens to the mechanic ticking of his alarm clock and Komaeda’s steady breathing, sometimes interrupted by an occasional rustle of his coat when he moves around. This is the most relaxed Hinata has felt in the last few days and he thinks that he would gladly fall asleep - stranger or no stranger in his apartment - but then the white haired man speaks up.

Komaeda asks him a lot of things and Hinata takes his time with his answers. It's not like they are rushing anywhere. The world is drowned in inky darkness, but they don’t really bother to turn on the lights. The light coming from the kitchenette is enough, plus it’s never dark in Hinata’s apartment, blurs of orange colours pour inside through the windows. His answers are still short and he doesn’t risk telling Komaeda details about his secrets.

He also thinks that it is no coincidence that the taller one had approached him.

“I don’t know… it feels like I’ve seen you somewhere before. I am just not sure where.” Hinata whispers quietly and looks at his mug. He’s on his third cup of coffee and the distance between him and his guest slowly melts away with every five minutes.

“That sounds like something out of a romance novel.” Komaeda laughs and Hinata wants to shove at his face. “Ah, maybe we have met somewhere in the past life? Maybe we were good friends or something.” He hums and traces the cup with his fingertips. Hinata has noticed that Komaeda had some sort of fixation; he always has to touch, feel.

“No need to be such an asshole.“ he blushes even more and he’s glad that it's dark enough in the small room and Komaeda can’t see it. He’d never hear the end of it.

“I don’t think that it is stupid. I actually believe in that stuff. Who knows? There are many things that we are yet to discover, many unknown stories to find out.”

“You’re rather poetic in the evenings, aren’t you?” Hinata teases and Komaeda actually thinks about it, his tracing motion stops.

“Am I? I’ve never noticed such a thing.”

“Maybe you never notice your quirks because no one ever tells you about them.”

“…perhaps.”

The cold look in Komaeda’s eyes makes Hinata’s guts freeze. He probably threaded a dangerous territory there. He tried asking about Komaeda’s life, but the man just brushed the questions away or responded in his own secretive ways, that left Hinata even more confused than he was before. Whatever was happening in his life, past or present, the man wasn’t willing to share.

“Actually, I know who you are, Hinata-kun. I think a lot of people do. You write amazing articles, you could even say I'm a fan of your work. For some reason when I read what you write I feel close to you. I feel like I know you better and I think that the two of us have a lot in common.” The man forces a smile, closes his eyes and Hinata can tell that it is all fake. Even when those eyes are open, the small pull of Komaeda’s lips doesn’t reach his murky green eyes. “You might have seen me last night. I was out… didn’t really feel like staying home and I accidentally saw what happened. It was horrible. The one who did this will be caught for sure, I can bet on it. There’s so much injustice out there, I can’t even begin to imagine how people like that even manage to live with their disgusting, despair rotten insides. I don’t know how these horrible people can keep on going. I don’t know how I can keep on going too.” The smile vanishes from Komaeda’s lips and he grips the cup tight till his knuckles turn white. Hinata suddenly feels a certain chill creep down his back like someone had opened a window. He wants to ask, he wants to ask so much, but he tries to hold himself back. He doesn’t want to trigger this darkness any further. Whatever that had happened to the taller one must have been very cruel.

“I consider myself rather lucky. It's such a shameful talent to have… In the end I always have to rely on it and not my own strength. It is a vicious cycle, but that’s the way it works. One cannot have good luck without bad one following. And I am sure that whoever is doing this, their luck will run out. They will rot between four walls in a mental asylum for the rest of their lives just like they deserve. Such people do not need to be given salvation, only justice for their actions. They shouldn’t be loved and shouldn’t be considered normal. They’re nothing but monsters that mask themselves in order to fit in." The man shivers and his hold on his emotions keeps crumbling away. Komaeda looks like he is in pain, but then takes a few deep breaths and calms himself. “Do you consider yourself lucky, Hinata-kun?”

The shorter one takes a moment to collect his stray thoughts, still confused about the reasons behind Komaeda’s breakdown. He studies his face, but it's already relaxed, though this time he doesn’t bother to put on a smile, even a fake one. “I'm not sure… the luck factor depends on many people. It’s not like I am super unlucky, but I wouldn’t say that I have some special luck either. I’m… average. I don’t win at lotteries, I’m not good at gambling and for the last few days I’ve considered myself rather unlucky. I think the people that get success in life are happier.”

Komaeda lets out a bitter laugh. “Of course you would think that. The luck factor isn’t something that we decide on; it isn’t something you can learn. You either have it or you don’t. It’s common to think that a person who has won everything in the world is happier than the one with a small house and a family to feed. But in the end, is it all true? You can’t have good things without bad ones. If you’re feeling unlucky, I'm sure that if you wait some more, if you wish and hope, you’ll succeed. I believe in you. That’s why…” he takes the cup from Hinata’s hands, places it on the floor and takes the shorter one’s cool hands in his own hot ones, running his thumbs over the sharp knuckles absentmindedly. The way he laces their fingers together makes Hinata’s heart ache with bittersweet kinds of feelings and his stomach clenches uncomfortably, like someone had let butterflies inside. “That’s why I am going to leave you alone now. You don’t deserve to be pulled into this vicious cycle.” Even though Komaeda says that, he still refuses to let go and Hinata doesn’t back away, his pulse beating so loud inside his ears that his vision is swimming. The white haired man’s eyelashes tremble and he looks like he would give anything to stay. “No one deserves someone like me. Nobody needs trash.”

“Stop berating yourself. You’re a good person, Komaeda.” He can’t help but frown at those depressing words and those green eyes are hidden by the stray strands of hair. Hinata has to lean in to see the man’s face better, but he backs away, still holding the shorter one’s hands.

“You don’t know me.”

“You don’t know me either, so I guess we're even. So don’t you dare to act like this.” He squeezes their laced fingers tighter. “And then leave just like that. Now that is truly unfair. That is exactly what makes you a horrible person.”

Komaeda takes in a few shaky breaths and his palms are sweaty and Hinata doesn’t understand, he’s yet to figure out why them man pushes him away.

“You don’t know what you’re getting yourself into. Why won’t you let me just leave? You’re making this hard for me.” His grip keeps tightening and Hinata in some way enjoys the slight feeling of pain, it's like they're being brought closer this way. It feels like the Earth is rotating twice as fast and he’s not sure how it turned out like this.

“You shouldn’t have approached me then. Or thought about what you were doing beforehand. ”

Komaeda lines their foreheads together and his eyes gleam eerily in the dim orange light. They don’t move for a few seconds, just breathe silently. Hinata’s lips tingle with a need to close the gap, but he fights it away. “I think that you’re pretty cruel too, Hinata-kun… Didn’t they teach you to not talk to strangers?”

“I guess I missed that lesson.” And indeed, he doesn’t know where his common sense had disappeared to. With Komaeda he feels safe and the world around them disappears. Like this is the way it is supposed to be. Maybe he should really consider himself lucky person. He's not sure who found who; was Komaeda the one to find him or was it the other way around? It's an unspeakable attraction that he cannot control and he knows that it is returned with the same intensity. Maybe Komaeda was right about the past life thing, as cheesy as it sounds. A small voice in the back of his mind tells him to stay away and Hinata decides to listen to it right after he lets this happen, whatever it is. He trusts Komaeda just a little bit more and he feels that there’s no way that the man is faking it. He won’t lie to him, he’s not lying.

Hinata remembers reading that one line that is used in a lot of novels; eyes are the window to one’s soul. He may not be an expert when it came to reading emotions, but in Komaeda’s eyes he sees nothing but affection and hesitance that reflects his own. “Just once. And we can forget about this.” The way he asks, pleads almost, it’s like someone else is speaking, because Hinata Hajime sure as hell doesn’t sound that desperate and it's all of the convincing that the taller one needs.

The brush of those lips is hesitant yet firm and the shorter man’s body tingles all over with an urge to get just a little bit closer, so that he can absorb some more of that warmth in. He gently fists his fingers into the white material of Komaeda’s shirt, pulls him closer, his heart beats loud and it feels so right that he forgets how to breathe. That skin is warm beneath the thin material and Hinata rests his palm against the taller one’s chest, feeling the rhythmical thumping of his heart. It’s fast, a little too fast, but Hinata doesn’t think much about it and just focuses on the feeling.

It’s sweet and pleasant, their mouths are sealed shut and Komaeda is a great kisser. His lips are slightly dry, a bit chapped and they still feel wonderful with every feather-light brush. The kiss ends far too soon than Hinata would like and he slowly opens his eyes, enjoying the warm puffs of air against the side of his face. They look at each other and Komaeda shifts slightly. For a moment Hinata panics and refuses to let go of the taller one’s shirt, but instead of leaning back, Komaeda shifts his arms to hold himself up better. His eyes are lidded and his breathing is short and ragged and he squeezes out a breathless “One more?”

They both move at the same moment when those two little words roll away from Komaeda’s tongue and this time Hinata doesn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around that thin neck. This time it lacks innocence, far more sensual and deeper. Hinata’s mind protests, but his body is a slave for this heat, so he keeps going. The taller man licks his bottom lip and it isn’t long before their tongues are tangling. The silence of the room fills with clothes rustling and quiet groans and moans of approval, that they’re making in the backs of their throats. One kiss turns into two, two into five, five into ten. Time keeps stretching and Komaeda holds himself up on trembling arms, not willing to press against Hinata’s suddenly far too hot body, because if he does that, then this will be over and his restrain will disappear.

It’s like someone invisible starts speaking in a hushed voice. It keeps whispering to the two of them that this cannot be a thing. They don't go well together, they clash like fire and water and in the end nothing good can come from it and while Hinata doesn’t listen, Komaeda is aware. Reluctantly he peels the shorter man’s arms away and breaks the contact. He’s beautiful with his mussed brown hair and his flushed face. The white haired man wipes away Hinata’s moist lips so that no traces of him are left behind.

“I should really be going.”

“Why?”

That one word hangs heavily in the air and Komaeda’s silent as he sits with his elbows propped against his thighs and he rubs his palms against his face to make the built up lust and frustration disappear. “Go to sleep, Hinata-kun. You have work tomorrow.”

Komaeda is a bit shocked when Hinata doesn’t retort with a ‘you’ve got work too’. He is silent; he doesn’t get angry or annoyed with him, only lies on his side facing the dark brown back of the spacious sofa. He curls into himself as it to preserve some heat and doesn’t look up. “If I do, will you stay? Or will you leave?”

Komaeda thinks that it doesn’t take a genius to catch the meaning behind those words and something inside of him twists painfully. No one has ever asked him to watch over them before. His hands shake and he heaves a sigh. “I’ll stay until you fall asleep.”

Hinata doesn’t look content, but this is the only thing Komaeda has to offer, so he agrees.

The shorter one tosses and turns on the sofa until he finds a comfortable position and his breathing evens out. Time passes and Komaeda just stares with unseeing eyes at Hinata’s alarm clock, the sound of it ticking pissing him off. He’s always hated mechanic clocks and he remembers throwing them all away. It always feels like they are counting down to something, something awful. In their presence the white haired man realizes that with every tick he has less and less time left. His phone keeps buzzing in his pocket, but he doesn’t pick up. He doesn’t need to do it. She’ll forget about it eventually. Always does.

The feeling this… boy gives him is indescribable. It isn't love, it can’t be. Monsters such as him are not allowed to feel positive emotions; they aren’t allowed to feel love. They're not allowed to feel anything except for malice and hatred. Despair. But he’s not like the rest of them.

“I’m so lucky to have met you. I’m glad that I finally had a chance to talk to you. But I wonder… will this luck turn out to be bad? Maybe I'm actually extremely unlucky?”

Soft spots cannot be allowed within people who lead such lifestyle. Soft spots made you vulnerable. They were like cracks in armour, all you needed was to find the right moment and strike the finishing blow.

He is your Achilles’ heel and there’s nothing you can do about it.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so I guess there was a change of plans. I am still a bit stuck with the ending of this fic so it might take me longer than i expected to update. I'm not even sure what the heck i am writing about anymore. Ehhh just improvising. Don't look for any holes in the plot, because there might be far too many... for now. Here's the new chapter and I hope you enjoy it. ~

The buzzing is incessant, a never ending string and Komaeda represses an urge to throw his phone out. He needs nicotine, craves for a cigarette. There’s a balcony and it tempts him, but he doesn’t want to wake the sleeping man up. Slowly, he stands up on unsteady legs, checks his phone with twenty six missed calls, but they are of no importance. The small numbers read 01.12 am. Had he really spent so much time in here?

Hinata winces on the bed, mumbles a sleepy complaint about the sudden lack of heat and curls into himself even more. With a stony face Komaeda watches him stir and a part of him wishes that the boy would wake up, but he doesn’t.

He thinks that this is ridiculous. How the hell was it possible to connect with the shorter man after merely a few hours?

He’s a fool and this is what he deserves.

With an experienced movement of his fingers, he pulls the sleeping man’s phone out. Hinata doesn’t feel anything and it's just Komaeda’s luck that the boy is sleeping just on the right side to make his job easy. He quickly fiddles with it, saves his number just for the hell of it and places it on the floor next to the two cups. It was nice, he had enjoyed it. It was a long while since he had spent his evenings in such pleasant company. He’s going to miss this. Probably.

“Pleasant dreams, Hinata-kun.” He smiles, but it lacks mirth. It only feels natural, like he’s been programmed. “I hope we never meet again under such… circumstances.”

It’s good that he walks soundlessly; he had finally perfected it after years of infinite practice. He pulls on his boots, doesn’t bother to lace them and turns off the light.

\- -

When Hinata wakes up, his first instinct is to grab for something, or rather someone, who isn’t there. He feels like shit, his head sticks to his sofa and he wonders why the hell he was on the sofa in the first place. He wipes at the drool that kept him glued to the surface of the bed and he squints at the clock. It is only three am and the apartment feels cold like all of the windows had been opened. Slowly Hinata thinks that maybe he’s just randomly fallen asleep and he tries to crawl away into the bathroom to take a quick shower, but then he notices his phone next to two empty cups and his senses come back to life. The last few hours hit him like a lightning bolt from clear skies.

His broken motorcycle, someone helping…

Komaeda.

Hinata doesn’t know why he felt so disappointed that he hadn’t found the white haired man next to him. He knew that he wouldn’t stay - the taller one had made it pretty clear - but it still stung a little.

The only reminders, that this actually happened, are the taller one’s scent, still lingering in the air, and two empty cups on the floor.

‘Who the hell needs him…? Coulda left a note or something, but noooo. All talk and no action, only baseless flirting.’

He was pissed, hurt and he was in a desperate need to shower and jack off while he was at it. Today was going to be just as frustrating as yesterday and so will be the day after tomorrow and the one after that.

The shower was unpleasant. It didn’t matter how much he turned up the heat, it still couldn’t recreate the warmth he had felt when he was with Komaeda. His vision blurred until there were white spots dancing behind his eyelids and he had the most disappointing release ever. It felt wrong, gross. He bit his lips hard enough to bruise, the white haired man’s name whispered like some precious prayer. It didn’t bring him relief; it only brought him more frustration and self-hatred for falling into the guy’s trap so easily.

They’ll most likely never meet again.

He finished showering in record time, disappointed that it didn’t serve him as a therapy, a remedy of sorts. Some sort of cure that would help Hinata to forget. It only wore him out even more.

The moment his head hit the pillow he had fallen into a deep dreamless sleep. It didn’t last long; the peaceful bliss was soon replaced by creepy nightmares.

\- -

Ever since he was a kid, he’s hated nightmares with great intensity, because they never left him alone. When he was a teenager, Hinata began developing insomnia. He absolutely dreaded the moments when the sun began setting down and the night inevitably came. He always tossed and turned on his bed and tried his best to not give in to the clutches of sleep luring him, tempting him.

His mother complained about it. His grades suffered, he couldn’t focus well and his body couldn’t keep up with his mind. He had visited many different doctors, but no one could explain the nightmares. His mother said that maybe if he stopped hanging out at Chiaki’s place every night and played less horror video games then maybe he would be fine.

Actually it was his time spent with the pink haired girl that helped him heal. They could go all night without feeling the slightest bit tired and if by any chance Hinata felt his eyes closing, Chiaki would poke him into awareness just like they had agreed, and they would return to their stack of video games and ridiculous movies. It amazed the boy how the girl could be so lively during night time. She was a pro at staying awake during the dark period of time, but it had consequences. It was a lost cause trying to talk to her at school, she would just nod off. It didn’t matter if she was in the middle of a class, didn’t matter if she was sitting or even standing up. Hinata didn’t mind. As long as they could stay together during the night, as long as he didn’t have weird dreams intruding into his subconsciousness, he was fine.

After he had battled away his nightmares, he realized that he slept the best with someone next to him. He felt the most relaxed and his head wasn’t buzzing the morning after.

He was alone.

He knew this place all too well, a black void of nothingness. His feet sank into the red liquid that he knew was blood up to his ankles. He wanted to close his eyes, because he knew what would happen next, but he couldn’t shut them. He realized that he had no eyes to close to begin with.

He looks down to stare at his own reflection, but he doesn’t see himself in that red, only distorted figures that he cannot see, things hidden in the dark.

The sickening crack behind him announces that his biggest nightmare is there and he refuses to turn around. The thing – there is no better word to describe it - breathes against the back of his neck and it reminds him of winter wind. It is chilly and it seeps into him, he can feel his own bones creaking when he flexes his fingers and refuses to turn around.

“Do you consider yourself lucky?”

He’s heard those words before, but he can’t remember where. They are somewhere in the back of his mind, writhing like maggots and eating away at his lucid thoughts.

“You’re not real.” Hinata whispers and regrets the fact that he had opened his mouth. He inhales the scent of rotting flesh, the smell of blood clogs his nose like a stuffy pillow has been shoved into his face and he chokes on it.

The thing behind him wheezes like it is laughing and it crawls closer. Hinata hears the crack of its neck as it tilts its head to the side. “If you say that I am not real then how can you be sure that you’re real to begin with?”

Hinata’s bones dully creak in protest as he turns to face his nightmare. It’s a disgusting sound; like someone is stepping on a little animal, crushing it until it dies from agony. He wants the thing to stop; he knows that it's choking him on purpose. It’s a broken form of Koizumi’s body, bent in awkward angles, thin and white. It has her hair, her face, but it is barely recognizable. The mouth is full of sharp teeth as they glint dangerously whenever the thing talks and the thing doesn’t have eyes. Two big holes leaking black ooze, layers upon layers of darkness. It crawls like a spider on uneven legs.

Hinata notes that it gets more and more additions every time he sees it. More legs, more limbs. The lives that had been lost on this case.

“Leave me alone.” Hinata tries to growl, but it comes out as a quiet whimper. The thing makes a sharp clacking sound and Hinata can hear them, he can hear them screaming, trapped inside of this monster. He can hear Kozumi screaming for help and he falls into the blood. He heaves and he would cry, but no tears come out. The cracking grows louder, fiercer and Hinata only manages to look up before it opens its mouth, Koizumi’s jaws creaking in protest. It lunges for Hinata’s neck like a snake and Hinata feels nothing but pain pain pain, pain all over, as he chokes on his own blood and the liquid he’s kneeling in rises in level. Against his will the man looks into that darkness and the thing’s eyes are flashing red and blue. He feels the last of his strength seep away from his body and passes out.

He wakes up and looks around. He’s sitting in the ambulance, wrapped up in that scratchy blanket. People run around, shout out orders. The blinking of the lights hurts his eyes. The sound cracks like a radio static, he can barely make out anything. He spots Kirigiri in the crowd. She’s ordering some policewomen around and she looks desperate. Hinata throws off his blanket and runs after her in order to help her out. She looks distraught and afraid and before Hinata can reach her, the crowd swallows her up completely. He looks around, but doesn’t spot any lavender hair, calls out her name a few times, but she doesn’t answer.

Hinata looks around and he doesn’t need to think about it too much, he already knows that this is the night when Koizumi was killed. He pushes some people out of the way, gets some glares sent his way, but he doesn’t care. It isn’t Kirigiri that he needs to find, it's someone else. The faceless crowd thins out, the howling of the sirens grows louder and there he sees him.

A young man stands in the middle of this chaos with his back against the brick wall. He’s dressed in black and the way he looks at Hinata makes him shiver. His eyes are cold like ice and his face is stony. Those green eyes look void of emotion and the thin man stretches his glove clad arms and pulls his black scarf up until it covers half of his face. Nobody in the crowd spares the young man another look; it is like he’s a shadow or a string of white smoke that can’t be touched. Their eyes meet and the man turns on his heel and dives into the crowd. Hinata wants to follow, call out his name, but a sudden hold on his left wrist makes him stay. Kirigiri’s grip is like a vice and the more he struggles, the more it squeezes. He’s getting annoyed with her, order’s her to let him go, but she doesn’t budge an inch. Hinata thinks about pushing her away and forcefully wrenching his hand away from her grasp, but her violet eyes widen and she screams out, but Hinata can’t hear her. Warmth runs down his left hip and he touches it tenderly. His fingertips are smeared with blood and he looks down to see some sort of pole sticking out through his left side. He doesn’t feel any pain only shock and some sort of weight that most definitely shouldn’t be there. There’s warm breath against his ear and his head is filled with a sinful and mirthless laugh.

“Do you consider yourself lucky?” the man whispers quietly and Hinata can’t say a word, his mind clouded with white fog. He sees red all over, Kirigiri is shaking him with trembling arms and he blacks out.

He wakes up with a gasp and sucks in air like a fish pulled out of water. His eyes flood with tears and he wipes them away.

It was just a nightmare, just a bad dream. He tries his best to calm down and console himself, but it still shakes him to the core. His phone buzzes next to him and he was never so glad. He needed the distraction.

It’s Kirigiri calling him and that happiness is washed away. Surely she had found some more things to help the case. In other words he is to get up and meet up with her, talk about the scary stuff that he has come to hate. He feels the tension already taking its toll on him.

For a moment he considers not picking up, but decides against it.

Kirigiri sounds urgent and she commands him to meet her in front of the police station right away. She scolds him for not picking up his phone too, but when she hears his tone, she relents.

Hinata goes through his usual morning routine and stuffs a notebook into his messenger bag. Today he’s going to start working on his story. He’ll no longer procrastinate, the sooner he gets rid of this burden the better.

\--

The bus ride is a bit different than usual. The moment Hinata steps in he’s shocked to see that at least more than half of the travelers are reading a newspaper that he’s forgot to check out today. He finds an empty double seat, settles down and squints his eyes in order to make out the front pages. God, he really needs glasses…

The front page is occupied by a greyscale photo of someone being pushed into a police car. The culprit’s head isn’t visible, but their figure obviously screams a female. After a few more tries Hinata reads a headline.

‘THE TRUTH BEHIND THE ISLANDS MURDER IS UNCOVERED!’

“I’m sorry, can I borrow this?” Hinata asks some old lady and she smiles politely and gives him the newspaper. Hinata skims his eyes over the article.

‘The murder of Koizumi Mahiru… ahh, all of the basic info. The blamed chef, son of the prestigious restaurant called ‘Islands’ owner cleared of suspicion and proven to be innocent.’ Hinata smiled a little. So Hanamura wasn’t guilty after all. He was glad that they had finally let him go. Those were some good news. Maybe Kirigiri called him to celebrate the victory? And now that they have caught the real culprit… If that person was truly connected to the mass murderer, then maybe the investigator found some new clues as well?

‘A new suspect has been brought in for questioning… didn’t deny their guilt… went down without a fight… ‘

Hinata felt his eyes widen and his hands began shaking. No way… There had to be some sort of mistake.

‘The one suspected of Koizumi Mahiru’s murder is Pekoyama Peko.’

Hinata rubbed his eyes just in case he might have misread, but the words were right there. He quickly skimmed the newspaper to find the continuation of the article and he was met face to face by the woman’s picture. She wore a grim look on her face, her silver hair bound in their usual twin braids, glasses slipping away from the tip of her nose and her red eyes, almost black in the colourless photo, positively dead. Hinata carefully read the rest of the article, but he didn’t see any mentions of the mask that led to the woman’s guilt. They merely described it as ‘left behind clues that lead to finding her’. No one would be satisfied with that little information!

Why didn’t they mention it…? Just what the fuck was going on?

How the hell was Pekoyama responsible for what happened to Mahiru? The woman was her friend. Hinata didn’t know Pekoyama that well himself. She was a bit uptight and she really loved cute things. She was a kindhearted woman and had a heart of gold. She was a true warrior and she had an impressive… katana collection.

Koizumi was killed with a katana, wasn’t she?

‘N-nah, this is stupid… she wouldn’t have done it.’

‘Didn’t deny her guilt.’

There has to be something more to this. If she truly did it... Then why did she kill Koizumi now of all times? The article said so too, the woman had a semi clean background, wasn’t judged for any crimes before and she was allowed to carry weapons, one of which later turned out to be a murder weapon. If she wanted to, she could have killed Koizumi whenever she felt like it. And in front of a restaurant? Where there were so many people around?

It just wasn’t adding up.

Hinata felt even more confused than he was before. He handed the woman her newspaper and sat back, his head working overtime. Nothing made sense anymore. Why would she raise her sword against a friend? Not to mention wasn’t she dedicated to protecting Kuzuryuu Fuyuhiko? Hinata had met the woman through the short man who he considered rather close. The two of them were living together, yet as far as Hinata concerned they weren’t dating. Kuzuryuu was a gangster, that was true, and the two of them were raised together, but that didn’t mean that Pekoyama would kill whoever she wanted. Then again, did he really know anything about her? Did he really know anything about Kuzuryuu too? Maybe Koizumi was a threat of sorts? Still, that didn’t give you the right to end someone’s life.

The bus ride seemed shorter than usual and he went on autopilot. Kirigiri was already waiting for him, her jacket exchanged for a long coat. It was a chilly morning.

“Did you read today’s newspaper?” she said instead of any kind of greeting and Hinata nodded.

“Even if I hadn’t that wouldn’t have made a difference. It is all over the place.”

“Follow me.” she turned on her heel and speed walked to the building, opening the door and Hinata almost had to run to keep up with her. His fingers were itching to write down a story and the young detective would provide him with all of the answers he needed.

-

“Would you like some coffee?” the lavender haired woman asked and poured herself some of the black liquid. She took a small sip from her porcelain cup.

“Thank you, but no. I’m good.” Hinata fiddled with the clasps of his bag. Kirigiri almost rolled her eyes and pushed him another cup anyways. “I would like some explanation as to what the fuck is going on.”

“I’ll be straight to the point.” She said and watched the steam rise from the cup. Hinata straightened up in his chair. “Right now Pekoyama is being questioned and all I can safely confirm is that her case is related to the mass murderer. Our culprit admitted that she had owned the mask, but she hadn’t brought it with her. She cannot explain herself and her memory about that time seems rather foggy. Whatever the reason for her black out might be, it is not drug related. The culprit did not use alcohol and her body is clean of drugs. She also didn't recognize the stuffed toy that was left behind. Not only that, I can safely assume that whoever is pulling the strings, they are not alone. We have more than one murderer. At first she tried to brush it off as a slip of a tongue, but after some pressure she admitted to it being true.”

J-Just what kinds of methods did the investigator use to make Pekoyama say so much? Hinata remembered Chiaki’s words. The woman was right; there was truly more than one criminal.

“Did she tell you how many people there are…?”

“She doesn’t need to.” Kirigiri leaned back in her chair and fixed her gaze on the white ceiling. “I’ll investigate and we can determine the number of the culprits.”

“That’s possible…?”

“We’ll see. I’ll start right away. If my suspicions are correct, there are most likely two of them. “

“Right… different methods of killing. “ Hinata muttered to himself. The corners of investigator’s lips turned upward. “I see you have done your homework very well.”

“No, actually I was only given a push in the right direction.”

The woman looked like she understood, but didn’t mention it. It’s better not to tell her anything about Chiaki. He didn’t want his friend to get into any trouble for poking her nose into classified top-secret files. “But I still don’t understand… Why Pekoyama? She was friends with Koizumi. How did you even trace it all back to her?”

“Another acquaintance of yours? What a small world we live in...” the young detective let out a low hum and looked deep in thought. “It must be hard for you to carry such a burden, yet you still keep going. It's quite admirable. You really are a brave person.”

Hinata felt his cheeks redden and he was glad that Kirigiri wasn’t looking at him, most likely on purpose, giving him time to calm down. He pulled the sleeve of his jacket, clasped it tightly with his fingers and hid the flush behind his hand. It was a bit like a dream come true, here he was - working with an amazing detective with superb investigating skills and he was being praised by her.

“Um… thank you for your kind words… s-so can we go back to the case… please?”

“Right.” The woman reached for her cup and took another sip. Hinata watched her focus her gaze on the green walls, almost completely covered in papers, documents, photos and maps. He thought if maybe this was Kirigiri’s office, he had never checked who this office belonged to. If so, then were all of those walls covered in cases that the woman had solved so far? He took another look at her face and noticed just how weary she looked and immediately Hinata felt bad for bitching all the time about his lack of sleep and his nerves being tampered with. The woman was probably only functioning on coffee, her face was far too pale, and the black bags beneath her eyes looked like two bruises. The detective looked rather old in this light, far older than a woman in her early thirties. She almost looked sick and her voice was quieter than usual.

“Our two experts had finally traced back to the owner of the mask. As I mentioned it yesterday it was bought at an old antique shop and it's just our luck that the person who paid for it used a credit card. After that, it was an easy job. The owner of it was some man called Kuzuryuu Fuyuhiko. I did some background checking and found out that he had ties with the local mafia and the woman who he lives with, our culprit, piqued my interest. The woman had great skills with a sword and the mask was given to her as a present. Not only that, every mask is custom made. We asked the seller to give us a photo while it was still not ruined. The murderer admitted that she had truly owned it. A lack of alibi… all of the evidence was pointing right at her. She admitted to committing the murder. When she was brought into questioning I asked her more about the mask. She said that when she returned home it was no longer hanging on the wall. It was stolen during the period while she was waiting for her victim. She’s sure that someone tried to frame her, but when I asked her who she had in mind she didn’t reply.”

“Do you think that maybe… she knows all of the culprits?”

“I wouldn’t be surprised. She seems to know a whole lot, not to mention she’s one of them. There’s also the possibility that she doesn’t know the names. In the crime world, sometimes people work together, sometimes they don’t; they know each other by the names, but not their appearances and the other way around. It is a mean to keep safe and avoid betrayal. If you told someone your fake name and the traitor tried to give you away, only knowing vague details of your appearance and nothing else then there is a huge chance that you won’t be caught.”

“Makes sense.” Hinata tapped his pen against his bottom lip and the image of a white haired man swam in his head. He slowly shook his head. “Anyways, can I ask you some questions? Some advice would be great too… I want to start working on the story as soon as I can.” He chewed at the tips of his pen nervously and his legs were shaking underneath the table. Kirigiri hid a few coughs behind her gloved palm. “It is only understandable. Ask away. I’ll try to do what I can to help you out. “

They spent an hour and a half working together. Hinata turns professional, writes down some questions, scribbles down some pointers that the woman gives him. The more time passes, the worse Kirigiri’s cough gets and they have to stop in the middle. Hinata looks at her with concern and goes to pour her a glass of water. She’s deathly pale.

“Maybe you have overworked yourself… I don’t think that you should start investigating right away. You need rest.” Hinata hands her the glass and she gratefully takes it.

“It’s nothing to concern yourself with. I’ll be fine. I’m a little sick at the moment and I have some minor health problems. I’ll just take a pill and it’ll go away. I should be fine in a few hours. In the meantime, you should go. I’ll call you a few hours later, so don’t stray too far away. Take this time to work on your story.” She takes out a small plastic bottle, takes out one white pill and swallows it down. She shudders like she just swallowed something incredibly disgusting and closes her eyes.

“I still think that you should get some sleep.”

The woman doesn’t say anything in return and with a sigh Hinata collects his things and steps out of the office, making sure to check who it belongs to. It reads ‘Makoto Naegi’.

‘So I guess it isn’t her office after all.’


	4. Chapter 4

He’s almost at the exit when he runs into Chiaki. She scrambles to get her files and looks less sleepy than the last time he had seen her. “…oh. Hinata. It’s good that I found you. I heard about your bike. Give me the keys and I’ll take care of it for you. Akane knows a person who can fix it and he’ll do it for free too. She has that effect on people.”

“I… see.” Hinata murmurs and searches for his keys. Chiaki truly wasn’t lying. The policewoman was tough, maybe a bit too absentminded for solving crimes, but perfect when it came to catching criminals. Hinata himself had a taste of her strength when she had offered him a friendly spar during Chiaki’s birthday party. He couldn’t bend forward without his back popping for at least three days. “What’s with the sudden change of heart? If she wants to spar again then I’m not giving you the keys. I’d rather pay for my ride than lie in the hospital, thank you very much.”

“She says, I quote; lil Hinata has too much shit to deal with, so why the hell not? Everyone’s dyin’ and he’s working his ass off. I must say that what she said was a lie, because she said that she owes you for that free steak. Also I can give you a ride home tonight. I leave early today.”

“That makes a lot more sense. I should buy her food more often. Just tell her to text me the address where to pick up my motorcycle after they fix it. And yeah, I could use a ride home.”

Chiaki slowly nods and fixes the files in her hands. “Great. I’ll see you later.”

She pads away and Hinata takes out his phone to check the time only to find one missed message. He opens it and almost drops the device.

‘Would you like some coffee? Yes or yes? My treat!~ ‘

The young man stares at the screen and he cannot believe what he’s seeing. It's not the cutesy message that shocks him, it's the sender.

Since when did he have Komaeda Nagito in his contact list?

Did the taller man save his number last night while Hinata was asleep? That made a lot of sense, because as far as Hinata was concerned, he had fallen asleep with his phone in his pants pocket and when he woke up it was magically placed on the floor. He read the message three more times and felt a smile tug on his lips. He typed out a fast reply.

‘I’m near the police station. Where do you want to meet up?’

It took about twenty seconds for a reply to come.

‘Oh. You replied~ I’m actually at the coffee shop right across the street. I think I can see you too!’ Hinata squinted at the windows but didn’t see anything. He stuffed his phone into his pocket and hurried to the shop. He was about to see Komaeda and for some reason that thought made him rather content. For a second his nightmare resurfaced in his head, but he quickly shook the nasty feeling away. That dream was fucked up and he shouldn’t spare another thought on it.

\- -

The moment the glass door creaks open he immediately sees Komaeda in a booth farther away from the windows so Hinata thinks that it's only natural he hadn’t seen him. The man is drowning in a thick white sweater, a gray plaid scarf tightly secured around his neck and he looks hot in those clothes - once again, not in that kind of sense, okay, maybe a little - but for some reason he doesn’t take them off. Hinata crosses the cozy shop and unceremoniously dumps his bag on the table. There’s black coffee already waiting for him.

“Hello to you too.” Komaeda smiles and takes another sip of his mocha. “I see that you’re a little ray of sunshine today.”

“Now is not the time to be a little shit.” Hinata sighs and takes a big gulp of the black liquid. It burns his throat and he immediately regrets it. “What’s up with the whole ‘let’s meet up’ thing? And good job with taking my phone while I was asleep. You are most definitely not someone suspicious.”

“I just couldn’t stay away.” Komaeda lids his eyes and his smile turns into a smirk. “I could have taken a whole lot more too.”

Hinata blushes and the man before him lets out a laugh. “So innocent! You’re so noble, Hinata-kun. I'm sorry that a trash such as myself is messing with your day. If you wish to leave, I’ll understand. I… felt indebted after last night.” Those green eyes are downcast and he traces the tables top with his index finger. Hinata feels like he had just kicked a puppy out in the rain and in order to get rid of the feeling he opens his bag. “No more degrading yourself and less baseless flirting. If you can do that then we’re good. You don’t need to feel indebted; I invited you, because it was only natural. You offered me a ride home and checked my motorcycle.”

The two of them pointedly refuse to mention the steamy make out session and Hinata’s pride refuses to let him remember. He was a bit desperate last night, okay, really desperate, but he also has a very strong opinion and he listens to his inner voice... mostly.

“You shouldn’t show such kindness to people like me.”

“And you should stop referring to yourself as no one.” Hinata takes out his laptop, opens it and waits for it to boot. “If I indeed thought about you as some piece of trash, then trust me, I wouldn’t be here. If anything, I would have gotten a restraining order. So I don’t understand what your problem is. So let’s not talk about it, plus I have some work to do.”

Komaeda looks like he’s about to say something, but instead he takes a sip of his coffee and wipes at his forehead. Hinata can see that he’s uncomfortable with that thick sweater on and he can’t help himself when he asks “I think you should take the sweater off. It’s too hot.”

“I’m only wearing short sleeves. It will be too cold if I do that.”

“Then you can put it on again.”

Komaeda looks a little irritated with Hinata sassing him out, but only clicks his tongue. “The sweater stays on. Wow, Hinata-kun, if you wanted to see me naked before, then you should’ve just said so.”

Hinata doesn’t give in to the obvious teasing. “Let me guess, the sweater would’ve stayed on.”

“You’re trying to one-up me, aren’t you?”

Hinata doesn’t say anything only clicks some files on his laptop and begins typing, occasionally looking at some notes he scribbled down and Komaeda almost pouts. Almost.

He’s not really used to being ignored and he’s the type of person to start a conversation and pester others so he places his elbows on the table and takes another sip of his drink. “So what are you working on? The mass murderer story?”

Hinata looks a bit like a deer caught in the headlights and he shoots the white haired man a questioning look. “How do you know about that?”

“It would be more accurate to ask who doesn’t know.”

Hinata straightens his back out as much as he can. “As far as I am concerned, not many people know who exactly is working on it. So shoot.”

Komaeda doesn’t look out of it and he doesn’t appear to be affected in any way. He’s calm and his face doesn’t betray any emotions. The white haired man is relaxed as ever and Hinata allows himself to let his guard down. “I have my ways of getting around.“ he answers after a few seconds and Hinata knows that he’s not going to get any work done.

“Are you trying to tell me that you’re poking your nose into the case?” Something about this situation is a little suspicious. Komaeda smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. He leans in as much as he can and Hinata has to back away slightly, their legs touching underneath the table. “Can you really blame me? This sort of opportunity comes only once in a life time. Or at least once in a few years. All of this panic, this despair… But worry not; I don’t know more than it is absolutely necessary. I’ll leave that work to you and Miss Kirigiri. She’s a brilliant detective and I know that she can wrap this case up in a week. She's a ray of hope shining in this town.”

The shorter man looks into those green dull eyes and something in his stomach twists rather painfully. His throat constricts, those wires wrap around him and he has some difficulties breathing. “You should quit while you can, this case is—“

“It is cursed, I know, but this is exactly what makes it so exciting! So many lives are lost and the killer runs loose. Don’t you think that they need to be stopped? Don’t you think that they need to get executed? If the police can't do it, then I think someone else should.”

He’s so pumped about this, but it isn’t in an endearing way, it's rather unsettling. Hinata closes his laptop. “It was no accident that you just happened to ‘stumble’ upon the crime scene, right…? I think it is no accident that you approached me too. Komaeda, are you using me?”

There’s a moment of silence and the tall man backs away. Dread pools in the pit of Hinata’s stomach and he wants the man to say something, anything, because he is damn frustrated. “…Of course I'm not. It is true that it was no accident that I just happened to get to the scene of the crime, but I am not using you. I think it's just a matter of good luck that we met. I can even tell you what I know.” He winks and waves his index finger in small circles next to his cheek.

“Meaning?”

“Meaning that I might be doing some investigating myself. I can tell you what I know, that is, if you aren’t introduced to most of the details already and I won’t ask you much in return.”

Hinata shuffles in his chair. What if Komaeda asks for some secret information? Kirigiri had warned him to not tell it to anyone, not even his closest friends and Komaeda was someone he had coincidentally met yesterday, someone who had made him feel at ease and at the same time someone who he had a hard time understanding. But what if he was just like Chiaki? What if he too thought this through? Maybe he had some valuable information to share. Not to mention the fact that Hinata was a reporter with a story to write. His professional side was awakened. He wanted those tiny details, everything was necessary to connect the dots and get the big picture that he and the young detective were missing.

“What’s your bargain?”

“I want you to tell me if you’re getting closer to finding the killer or if you have any clues what his or her identity might be. I don’t need the details, only that. Also, from now on I’d like our relationship to be… strictly professional.”

Something within the brown haired man breaks when Komaeda says that. He doesn’t look comfortable saying that, his shoulders are hunched and Hinata can’t see his eyes, that white messy hair gets in the way, but the taller one’s body language speaks levels of sadness. There’s an unspoken apology lingering in the air, Komaeda looks truly sorry, but Hinata doesn’t understand why. They both knew that this was a one time thing. It still hurts a little.

This really can’t be a thing.

“I… couldn’t have said better myself.” Komaeda almost winces at that as if Hinata had physically assaulted him, and he fidgets with his plaid scarf.

There’s an awkward moment of silence, the sounds of other people chattering away and the little bell above the door ringing every time someone steps inside, bringing a cold gust of autumn air inside. The brown haired boy stares at the dark surface of his coffee and he wonders how the hell he got so upset so suddenly when Komaeda clears his throat and he jumps in his seat.

“Fine, now that that’s settled,” his voice lacks the usual liveliness and the taller man looks tired. “let’s talk about the case. I read about Koizumi Mahiru’s murder in today’s newspapers and apparently that chef wasn’t the culprit. She was brought into questioning. Did she mention anything, said anything that would lead you to the people committing the murders? The press avoids mentioning the connection Pekoyama has with the mass murderer, but they are doing a pitiful job at covering it up. This is what happens when you want to protect the society from all of those feelings of despair.” The way Komaeda speaks, his mannerisms, his insight reminds Hinata of Kirigiri. He’s lost in his own world and Hinata thinks about his answer, because he doesn’t really want to give out some private details, so he settles for lying.

“I don’t have many details. They are still not fully done. From what investigator Kirigiri mentions, I think the culprit let a fact, that there is more than one criminal on the loose out there, slip away. One more person to worry about.”

The taller man turns still, his eyes widen and his lips squeeze into one thin line. He sharply exhales through his nose and leans back in his chair. “Oh did she now. It is either a desperate attempt to divert the attention away from herself so she’s resorting to a cheap trick or it is the honest truth and we don’t really know what we are dealing with. Do you believe her, Hinata-kun? Do you think there’s not one killer, but two or more out there?”

“I…” Hinata thinks about it and remembers Chiaki and Kirigiri. Their versions were both convincing and he had to agree too. “I think there are two of them. But it is only my personal opinion, there’s more to this case than we see. The murders changed from clean to messy. We find clues that weren’t there before. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say they want to be caught. Either that or they know that they won’t be caught and they enjoy this panic. We dance around to their tune.”

“You’re rather perceptive, aren’t you? I… too share the same opinion about the ones committing the crimes. I’d even say that if it is true that there are two killers, they are at dispute. Just a feeling. We can’t really understand people; I’d say it is impossible. It's even more difficult to understand murderers. What about their genders? What do you think?”

“I… never put much thought into that. Pekoyama’s case… it is still shocking to me. One thing that concerns me is that she doesn’t really remember what she was during the time of the murder, which brings me back to the mastermind theory. She could’ve been drugged, but they said that they hadn’t found any trace of drugs in her system. I knew Pekoyama. I guess you could say that I considered her rather close to me, not close enough to call her a friend, though. I never would’ve thought… It's hard to believe, that someone you thought you knew just a little, can snap like that and even resort to such measures.”

Komaeda refuses to look him in the eyes and rubs the back of his neck. “Don’t blame yourself. I told you that it is impossible to understand murderers. I told you that these monsters walk among us with their perfect disguises. You couldn’t have known. She was put where she belongs. She was a stepping stone for a greater hope to shine. Even women can easily be murderers.”

The shorter man thought about it. Pekoyama had the guts to kill Koizumi, so it wouldn’t be too weird if one of the culprits was a woman. It made sense, because…

The things left at the scene of the crime. Those stuffed little toys. It would seem like something a female criminal would do. Maybe this was exactly what they were doing? Was Komaeda right too? Could it be possible that the two murderers were at a dispute? Was it possible that one of them left clues at the scene of the crime?

Maybe they were trying to frame each other...?

And it was also a possibility that he was over thinking it.

“Tell you what, Hinata-kun.” Komaeda’s voice is a secretive whisper as he leans in close. “You’re not wrong. Actually you’re going in the right direction. You have so much potential; I am surprised that you aren’t working at the police station. You’d make a wonderful investigator. Whoever assigned you to this case knew what they were doing. I can tell you that our secret killers… There’s a woman, without a doubt, but there is also a man.”

Hinata stares at him with white eyes and his brain shuts off completely. “Are you just assuming or…?” It takes one look at that face and Hinata knows that this is the real thing, Komaeda’s figured it out. “How the hell do you know that? Why didn’t you tell anyone?”

“I might have told someone, but it doesn’t mean that they believed me. Plus the witness who can confirm my words is already dead. You see… she saw those two. It was one of the first murders. There were two people. The woman fired the first shot and then gave the gun to the man. The victim was already dead, but he shot anyways. The second victim was the woman who saw. And then the woman’s little cousin. After that the pattern stopped. There’s no way to prove that what I am saying is true. But I firmly believe that those two are the same people, the same ones dragging everyone down into this chaos.”

The shorter man takes his time to stomach it all in. This was some fatal information and they didn’t believe Komaeda’s testimony because no one could back it up? This was ridiculous! They should have at least given him the benefit of a doubt.

“What you just told me… this is very important. Does anyone else know about it?”

“I’ve entrusted what I know to you only. Nobody else knows unless there are some very skilled mind readers out there.” He smiles slightly and he looks a bit calmer. “Anyways, Hinata-kun, I will look forward to the day you and Miss Kirigiri will have the final stand-off with those people. I hope I’ll be there to witness it. Front seat tickets to the show too!” he drawls out in a sing song voice that makes shivers run down Hinata’s spine. “You can keep this information to yourself or you can tell something to our dearest detective. But I’d like it if you kept it to yourself. Take it as a tip to write an amazing story.” He clasps his hand firmly on top of Hinata’s and the shorter one has never seen him so serious. “Whoever is doing this, they are very powerful. Worry not, they have connections everywhere, police, hospitals, you name it. I suggest you to not trust anyone, not even the people closest to you. You may never know just who exactly you are talking to, a normal person or someone who is just really good at lying.”   
The mood is heavy, Komaeda’s statement hangs above Hinata’s head like a sword of Damocles and the man lets go of Hinata’s sweaty palms, stands up and pulls on his coat. “That’s about it for today. If anything comes up feel free to send me a text. Calls don’t reach me very well. The expenses for the coffee had been taken care of beforehand, so you needn’t worry. I’ll see you soon, Hinata-kun.” Komaeda gives one more smile and Hinata doesn’t look at him and only reacts when there is a definite tingling of the small bell. He groans and buries his face into his palms.   
Just what the fuck had he gotten himself into?   
The backs of his hands still burn from Komaeda’s heated touch and he rubs them absentmindedly, orders his train of thought to stop before it can give a dangerous turn. Two criminals… Two or more. This was getting way too much for his brain to handle. Hinata thinks that maybe he should’ve chosen a less stressful job, like maybe working at coffee shop. He watches some young baristas serve the small line of people with bright smiles on their faces.

‘I should have chosen to work at a coffee shop. Nothing bad ever happens in coffee shops.’ he mutters and lets himself imagine it. He enjoys talking to people - pleasant people that is - and he likes coffee. He would wear one of those light green aprons and maybe someday some handsome stranger would come in, ask for a mocha. Hinata would feel himself blush when the white haired man would smile and fix his scarf, face red from the slight chill and Hinata would enjoy the feeling when their fingers would accidentally touch. The stranger would write down his phone number on a napkin and Hinata would call him after his shift was over and this is where he should probably stop because feeling sorry for himself wasn’t going to help. If anything, he should be working. He opens his laptop again and gets ready to spend the rest of his day typing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aw dang, Hinata-kun, you just got professional work zoned. Better luck next time. Also Komaeda needs to work on his acting skills, you are such a sketchy person. The plot thickens. Maybe.   
> Happy Friday lol, I hope you enjoyed this.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A double update because once again it is Friday.   
> From here on, the updates might slow down a little. It is a rather difficult time for me, the school work is annoying and I am switching schools. All I can say is that things will get darker and even more confusing. Smut is to be expected in near future, I am the type of person who just CAN NOT write a fic without any bedroom dancing. Thank you for reading and I hope I can bring you some mind fucks soon.

When Hinata’s phone buzzes with a text message from Kirigiri it is already dark outside. There are barely any people left and the baristas look a bit uncomfortable. Hinata cannot blame them, everyone looked rather tense these days, and you never knew when some psycho with a gun or a knife would barge in. There’s only one sentence on the bright screen ‘get here now’ and Hinata stretches his hands above his head. He had a nice beginning for the story. He could do this. It was hard writing it down without mentioning all of the juicy details, but Kirigiri had instructed for him to not do it, at least not until they caught one of the possible killers. His mind still lingered on Komaeda’s story from time to time and he kept thinking if maybe he should tell Kirigiri about it. Then again what if the information was false?   
What if Komaeda had lied to him?   
But what reason would he have to do that? To throw him off track? But why would he do that if he was dedicated to the case as much as he was. Komaeda wanted to see the culprit caught as much as any other citizen, so it made him clear of suspicion inside Hinata’s mind. He should also ask Kirigiri to give him the files regarding the string of murders. He was curious who the woman, that Komaeda mentioned, was.

The police station is unusually empty and Hinata feels a bit unsettled by the silence. He goes to Kirigiri’s makeshift office and opens the door without knocking. She looks up from some documents and if Hinata’s eyes weren’t fooling him, she looked even worse than she did this morning.

“Ah, Hinata—“ she coughs and Hinata feels sorry for her. “I see you could make it. I was sure you had gone home… take a seat.”

Wordlessly, he takes a seat and stares at the woman, who keeps shaking and thinks if maybe he should tell her to go home and that this can wait until tomorrow when she speaks up, her voice scratchy. “Right after you left I made some phone calls. They had finally sent me the files about all of the murder weapons used in this case.” She separates her stack of papers into two sheets and pushes them towards him. “What do you see here?”

On the left side there’s a photo of a handgun, all of the details scribbled in miniature text and Hinata shudders when he thinks that this is the type of weapon that had killed all of those people, this is the weapon that was mentioned in Komaeda’s story, the one who killed the eyewitness. The weapon used in the first murders. On the right side there’s a photo of a hunter knife as long as Hinata’s forearm, one side of it jagged. The weapon for the second half of the murders. It looks threatening and Hinata’s pretty sure that if he was a hunter he wouldn’t even kill animals with this thing.

What does he see?

The way Kirigiri had separated the stack of papers into two halves indicate him that what he’s been thinking is right. They are correct. “I see two different murder weapons that were used by different people. Meaning that there are indeed two culprits out there.”

“Very good. “ Kirigiri nods and stifles a cough. “Not only that. When the hunter knife was first used we also had our first toy left at the scene of the crime. There’s something else too. The strength put into killing victims, cutting them up… I don’t think that this could be a work of a woman unless she is some sort of world class athlete. I think that it is safe to assume that whoever began putting up bodies on display is a man. I personally think that our goal right now is to catch the second killer, bring him up for questioning and that way we’ll find the first murderer who started this whole mess. However the lack of pattern makes things difficult for us… We just can’t predict who will be the next victim or where the murder will happen. “

“Is that all to it? Is this enough to determine if it's a man?”

Kirigiri is silent and Hinata knows that she’s holding back. “Did… had Pekoyama said something?”

“I… she did. She mentioned a dispute between the killers. I… I asked her about the world that she’s involved in. It is not pretty, Hinata, and it will be hard to prove anything. Whoever is doing this, they have connections. There’s something bigger than the rest of us, but we need to keep our priorities. She claims that she had seen a man while she was waiting. I am not sure what to think of it anymore.” Kirigiri sighs and hides her face in her palms. “She says that he’s the one who framed her. He’s the one who is putting up shows, dropping hints. She pointedly refused to say anything else and if I didn’t know any better, I’d say that she’s afraid. It is like we are in a play, puppets dragged around by a string. Does that answer your question as to why I know for sure that it's a man?”

He feels cold. This is what he was afraid of. He hoped that maybe Komaeda was thinking too much about things, but in the end, it was his truth. They were pieces on a chessboard, moved around back and forth. The silence was only interrupted by the ticking of the clock hanging on one of the paper covered walls. Kirigiri shuffles around and looks at him with glassy eyes. “You should go home now. Your friend is waiting for you. In case anything happens, I want you to call me. It doesn’t matter how insignificant it may seem, if someone strange approaches you, just run away and run fast. I’m sure you’re old enough to understand how it works.”

Hinata is concerned, the woman shakes and she looks uneasy, like she’s still keeping some secrets away. He stands up. “You should get home too. It's not safe for either one of us. Rest well.”

“I’ll make sure to do that. Goodnight, Hinata.”

He nods his head and closes the door behind him. The halls are positively empty now and his heart almost jumps out of his chest when Chiaki suddenly pops up from behind a corner.

“Are you ready to go?” she looks like she wants to get the hell out of here and fast. Her eyes skim the empty corridor and she keeps tugging the straps of her backpack.

“Do you even need to ask? This place gives me the creeps…” Hinata shudders and Chiaki nods eagerly. “Where is everybody? I thought that there would be more people at this time of hour.”

“Ah, you see the chief’s birthday is today. Most of the people are on the other side of the building.” Those words bring some relief. At least it is not a complete abandoned building as he would have initially thought.

“I see…”

“So… did Kirigiri give you any more exciting details? Were my suspicions, that there’s more than one killer, confirmed.”

“Actually—“ Hinata doesn’t get to tell his friend anything. Before he can finish that sentence there is some sort of crash and they both tense up. Chiaki instinctively latches onto his sleeve, her eyes wide and Hinata knows that he’s fairing no better. He almost had a tiny heart attack there.

“Did you hear that?” the pink haired woman whispers and looks over the brown haired man’s shoulder, but sees nothing. The corridor is swimming in darkness, seemingly lifeless. “What do you think that was? This feels like we are two characters in a horror game.”

“I don’t know, but I fucking didn’t like it.” He hisses, ignores the comparison and there’s another crash, this time louder and duller. They both jump up again, Chiaki curses and stomps her leg as Hinata clutches onto her shoulders, their eyes turned towards the dimly lit corridor that the man had left merely a few seconds ago. They don’t dare to breathe. “That sounded like…”

“A body.” Chiaki’s eyes are impossibly wide and Hinata’s mind goes into an overdrive. “But I don’t think anyone was there besides you and —“

“K-Kirigiri!” He shouts and takes off towards the office. When he opens the door, the woman is laying unconscious on the floor. Hinata feels for her pulse and checks her breathing. It is incredibly shallow. “Don’t just stand there, Nanami, call the ambulance!” He shouts desperately and his friend drops her back pack and roams her hand inside in search for her mobile phone. She takes out her phone covered in kitten stickers and runs out to the corridor to alert the others.

“No no no, you can’t afford to do this, Kirigiri. We have a case to solve; people’s lives depend on it.” The woman doesn’t wake up and Hinata feels her face. She’s cold as ice. “We have criminals to find, you need to get better.”

He’s in such shock that he barely registers when police officers rush into the room. He’s pushed out of the way and Chiaki holds the young man steady, rubs soothing circles on his back, and whispers something comforting. She leads him outside and she all but shoves him inside her tiny Toyota and plops down into the driver’s seat. The two of them take a moment to collect their thoughts and composure, and while Chiaki succeeds, Hinata is not so lucky. There’s uncomfortable silence.

“Fuck!” the brown haired man roars and slams his fist hard against his thighs. They will surely bruise later but he doesn’t care anymore. He’s mad, frustrated and he’s sad because if Kirigiri is really sick then they are fucked, this is fucked and he’ll have to constantly be afraid for his friends lives, for fucking Chiaki’s life, damn it…! This case was cursed and what if Kirigiri’s sickness was very bad? What if it is not a simple matter of overworking? Chiaki side-eyes him and she looks like she's about to say something, but keeps it in and lets Hinata vent. When he doesn’t calm down, she tries to put a hand onto his shoulder, but the man just flinches away as if she had slapped him.

“Look, trying to cause yourself pain won’t help her. Maybe she just got really tired, I don’t think she had left the station for her whole stay here…” Hinata’s eyebrow is twitching furiously so she stops talking before she can even finish her sentence. It won’t do any good.

“How can you be so fucking calm about this!? Don’t you see what’s happening? This case is cursed and now she’s in danger. She was so close to actually breaking through too! So don’t you dare—“

“Stop shouting and calm down.”

“I am not going to calm down, Chiaki, don’t be stupid. What if you’re next!? What if I’m next? I’ll kill that Togami for doing this!”

“Calm down.” The pink haired woman’s voice is stern and she looks angry. “First of all, we are going to calm down and think this through. You should consider getting yourself some personal security. Not to mention the damn obvious fact that you’re not dying, I am driving you home and you will stay there. When I drop you off, I will most likely not go home and stay at Ibuki’s for the night. Sounds good enough for you?”

Hinata watches the girl’s face illuminated by the city lights and she knows that this is serious. Chiaki doesn’t really explode like that and she too looks close to banging her fists against the wheel, one of her cheeks blown out. He tries to calm down, but he’s still feeling panicky. “Alright. Just… drive me home already.” Hinata squeezes out and rests his head against the glass, wallowing in the feeling of cold. Chiaki starts the engine and the car purrs pleasantly. Hinata feels his eyes closing.

“Alright… your highness.”

\- -

He wakes up to the sound of his phone’s incessant buzzing. He grumbles, squints his eyes and he’s a bit shocked to find messages from almost all of his co-workers. All of them, who know about Kirigiri and Hinata, wonder if the news about Kirigiri’s collapse reached the newspapers. He thinks that it is quite possible; after all, she was assigned to the case. He skims through the messages and feels anger boiling when most of them are of sympathy. It's not like the detective died. He still doesn’t know what happened for sure and that thought makes him get up. He will visit her today.

While he chews on his daily toast his phone rings and Hinata coughs when he sees that it is his blond boss who’s calling. Hinata quickly wipes away the remains of crumbs stuck on his lower lip, as if the man could see him, and answers his phone.

“Hello?”

“I’ve heard about what happened yesterday. It's all over the news. People are panicking.”

Hinata is silent and he looks down. He wiggles his toes and his shoulders tense. “I figured that much out. It is only natural. She was close to cracking the case too.”

There’s an unpleasant stretch of silence. “I thought that this might happen… I am not sure if I was prepared for it…”

It is then that it strikes Hinata that perhaps the two of them were friends. He’s feeling sorry for Togami, but he is feeling even sorrier for himself. “Yet you still thought that it would be a good idea to rope me into this case… “ he’s bitter and he cannot control it, it is like the poison, that was kept inside of him, is finally seeping away. ”Sir, Koizumi DIED. She’s gone and I was at the scene of the crime. There was nothing I could do and when I got there, it was far too late, I felt like I somehow let it happen. And now I am not sure about how the investigator is feeling.”

Togami breathes in and Hinata thinks that maybe he’s hit a tender spot, but when the man speaks again he’s his usual self. “That’s why you are to go visit her and give her my regards. She’s still asleep. I’ll tell you the address now and I hope you own something like a piece of paper and a pen because I am not going to repeat myself.”

Hinata has to cover the receiver with his hand as he scrambles for a notebook of sorts, cursing out his boss. If there’s one person who wasn’t affected, then it was Byakuya Togami. Hinata finds some sort of pencil that he’s almost chewed up completely, writes down the hospital’s address and he’s about to tell Togami goodbye, either that or to ‘go fuck yourself’, when the man’s voice turns gentler than before. “Now that she’s out of the game, I’m letting you take some time off until she is up on her feet. I won’t deduct it from your pay. I hope you’re working on a good story.”

Of course. The story is of the utmost priority. “Yes. I am.”

“Splendid.” Togami says curtly and simply hangs up. Hinata stares at his phone and thinks that maybe he should get angry, but he doesn’t. He gets the feeling that the man cares, more than he lets on. His phone buzzes again and he’s a bit annoyed, but it is a message from Komaeda.

‘Let’s meet up today too. Same place same time?’ there’s a winking emoticon and Hinata rolls his eyes. So much for professionalism. Then again, it might just be Komaeda’s style so there’s an undeniable possibility that he’s interpreting it wrong. He hadn’t thought about the man once for the last few hours. It's not like Hinata has anything better to do today anyways, so he types out a simple ‘yes’. The brown haired man pulls on his sneakers, grabs his keys and opens the door when some paper flies out. He notices Chiaki’s handwriting and he quickly unfolds it.

‘Morning, sleeping beauty,

Your prize for staying home last night is your motorcycle. The keys are under the mat. Drive safely.

Chiaki’

There’s a tiny bunny face scribbled at the corner in a pink gel pen and despite everything Hinata smiles, feeling just a bit better. This way he can get faster to Kirigiri’s place. He takes the hidden keys and feels his mood lighten.

Hinata makes a quick stop by at some flower shop. It is only polite for him to bring something. If not from him alone then he can tell that those are from their whole collective as well. Especially Togami.

\--

He’s always hated hospitals. They remind him his sleep deprived days and bring back painful memories. He had almost lost his father and he’d rather not think about that one time that he fell from his motorcycle and broke his leg along with many other cracks and concussions. He stands before Kirigiri’s door and he’s a bit upset that no people are waiting to see if the detective is feeling better. The door is slightly ajar and Hinata pushes them away only to walk in on a sad scene. There’s a man sitting next to the detective, her lavender hair contrasting against her deathly pale face and the sheets she’s wrapped in. It smells like sterilization and… cleanliness in here. Hinata wrinkles his nose. He hates the scent.

The man next to her is small and his eyes shoot up to look at the intruder. He quickly wipes at his eyes with his sleeve and it doesn’t take a genius to know that the man was crying. He looks young, maybe Hinata’s age and his brown hair sticks out in random directions.

“Is this a bad time?” the taller male asks and backs away slightly, hiding the flowers behind his back. “I can stop by later.”

The shorter male just smiles sadly and sniffles. “No, please come in. It’s alright. She would appreciate that.” The way it is said… Hinata does not like that at all, not one bit. He walks inside the white room and finds some space in a big vase completely stuffed with all kinds of colourful flowers to soak the roses in. He secretively glances at the small man and notices that he’s holding Kirigiri’s hand. Their fingers are laced together tightly and Hinata turns away, feeling like he’s intruding on something private. Kirigiri is hooked to an IV; it's making rhythmical beeping sounds, nothing unusual. Whatever had happened to her, it wasn’t good if constant monitoring was in need.

Hinata thinks that he should really leave the pair alone but the short male extends his arm and smiles warmly. “I’m Makoto Naegi. I assume that you’re Hinata Hajime, right?”

So this was the person who that office belonged to. “As far as I am concerned that’s my name.” Hinata gives a tiny smile and shakes Naegi’s hand. The short male relaxes and looks a little less tense. “Kirigiri has told me a lot about you. She says that you have great potential for solving cases. She likes you.”

“I am truly nothing special…” Hinata is still not used to praises from detectives and he feels like covering his face, but the look in Naegi’s eyes stops him. There’s something bright flickering in them, but those specks of happiness are quick to fade away and the man turns sad. “I’m afraid that she won’t be able to return to the case for a while… Everyone’s afraid. The best detective out there is out of line. I don’t think that I can do nearly as much as Kirigiri did… She was so close to solving it too. You’ve helped her a lot.”

He turns to the sleeping woman again and brings her hand to his face and squeezes. It feels like Hinata has front seat tickets to a heart wrenching love drama, but this is a million times worse because this is actually happening and all of this is real. If he had felt like shit when Kirigiri collapsed he couldn’t even begin to imagine how this man felt.

“What’s her condition?” Hinata asks tenderly and Naegi curls into himself even further.

“She’s been overworking herself. Kirigiri… she has some mental health issues. She had a hard past… the medicine that she was prescribed was too strong for her. Her body is shutting down.” It sends a jolt of panic down Hinata’s gut and he stares at the sleeping woman’s body. “Wh-what do you mean shutting down? Is she going to—“ he can’t bring himself to finish that sentence. He refuses to.

Naegi’s voice is wavers when he speaks like he’s holding back tears. “I don’t know. I honestly don’t. She should wake up eventually. Just… give it a few days and she’ll fight this away. She’s a strong woman. For now she’s stable. They have many hopes. We shouldn’t give up hope too.”

Hinata is silent because he’s not sure what to do or say, nor is he sure how he should react. He is trying to process what has been said to him when the door opens and a nurse steps inside. “G-Gentlemen, I need to ask you two to leave… T-The patient needs some rest and I need to give her some medicine. P-Please…”

It is then that Hinata realizes what a small world this is and that it's just his bad luck that this ride is at full swing and he cannot get off.

“Awawa..! H-Hinata-san?” The nurse looks teary eyed and her smile brightens the room. “Is this really you?”

“Yes, Tsumiki. It’s been a long while.”

“Indeed i-it has!” The busty woman fixes her hair that is seemingly all over the place even though it is bound into a low ponytail, but she turns just a tad bit more serious. “I would like to speak to you if t-that’s absolutely and positively okay with you. Do—don’t hate me.” she is just as negative as he remember her to be, her nervous stutter and her lack of self confidence is what distinguishes her from the rest of the crowd. “We can talk. Don’t be so nervous.”

“Thank you very much.” She beams and then quickly ushers them out of the room and slams the door shut. Naegi fixes his jacket and stares at the closed doors. “A friend of yours?”

“I guess. I hadn’t seen her in years though. We used to be in the same class back in high school. She’s a great nurse and she’ll take good care of Kirigiri.”

“Nurse…?” Naegi tilts his head to the side in confusion. “Oh no, she’s a sub doctor. Kirigiri’s personal doctor disappeared two weeks ago and nobody has heard about him ever since. I know that Miss Tsumiki is filling in for him and she works at a small family clinic.”

“Oh. Could be.” The taller man says and lifts his eyebrows up. Then he realizes just how long it has been since he last saw the shy woman. She was a doctor now. It was amazing that she reached such heights in her life. Naegi looks at the door one more time and nods. “I must get going now, my break is almost ending. Have a nice day, Hinata.“

“You too. I’m sure your girlfriend will pull through.” Hinata says absentmindedly and he’s startled when the short male turns ten shades of red and waves his hands in front of his face wildly. “G-Girlfriend? N-no, you got it all wrong, we're just friends!” It is the same kind of ‘no’ that Hinata uses when he says that he doesn’t feel any attraction towards Komaeda. It doesn’t take a genius to know that the short man obviously wants to be ‘more than just a friend’, but the sick detective probably had no idea about it. Now Hinata can only hope that she would wake up eventually and settle things with the younger man.

“I see.” Hinata says and smiles a little. It was sweet the way Naegi got all embarrassed. “Well, your friend will pull through.”

Naegi yelps out a squeaky ‘yes!’ and he’s gone at the speed of the light. Hinata doesn’t have to wait long when the door opens and Tsumiki appears. He’s a bit confused as to why she doesn’t wear a doctor’s coat, but doesn’t pry. The woman was a bit weird plus she was only here until they found a suited replacement. “Uwa, it’s been so long...! You grew so much.” Tsumiki giggles and she looks like she wants to hug him but shies away, trembling all the while.

“You didn’t change much." She looks upset and Hinata quickly dives in to salvage the situation. “N-Not that it is a bad thing…”

“I-it’s fine… I understand… I’m still the same old c-cry baby.” She truly looks close to tears and wipes her eyes; even her hair looks like it trembles with sadness.

In all honesty the brown haired man doesn’t know how to deal with her and some nurses send pointed looks his way, so he sighs and runs his hand over his short hair. “So about Kirigiri’s condition.” The violet haired woman stills and doesn’t move. She reminds Hinata a wax doll, her eyes glassy. “U…Um… she’s pretty bad. I can’t say for sure when she will wake up… might take a few days… Maybe longer than that. “There’s an unspoken sentence lingering in the air and Hinata’s glad that it doesn’t escape the girl. “N-Now if you excuse me, I have to check on other patients…” Tsumiki avoids looking into his eyes and she brushes past him. Hinata stands frozen, still shocked by that uncharacteristic behavior and looks at her talking with some tall woman, glasses perched on her nose and her hair bound into a high ponytail. Something about the view of the two women catches Hinata’s eyes and his stomach sinks when he sees the blonde’s hair tie. A creepy duo colored bear smiles at him and Hinata’s eyes widen. It is like the fog that has been shrouding his mind for the last few days clears completely and he can see the dots connecting. The darkness chokes him and his heart slides down down down and Hinata is sure that the floor swallows it up. He walks down the all too spacious and far too white corridors with his head spinning and he can still feel the woman’s piercing blue gaze on his back, watching him intently.

This was bad. Very bad.

He had to meet Komaeda as soon as he could. Komaeda will explain everything; he will know what is happening.

He felt like he was about to explode.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there friends. It's been a while since I last updated due to some difficulties (most of them school related). This chapter is extra long just for all of you. In this chapter there's not much plot, it mostly focuses on the development of their fucked up relationship. I added sex in it because I couldn't resist. I just had to do it, y'know?  
> We are finally nearing the end of this fic. Two more extra long chapters are left. I'll try to update it sometime soon, but I can't promise that.

Hinata wasn’t quite sure how he managed to drag his feet to the small coffee shop. With his foggy mind he couldn’t remember what happened for the hell of it. He was extremely glad that he had somehow managed to focus on the road without crashing into anyone or anything.

This was insane. Everything no longer made any sense, it was like everything he ever knew was turned upside down and forcefully shoved into his face as if to make him angry and confused.

Kirigiri’s condition? A coincidence? No way. It was safe to assume that it was a carefully planned out move and the detective was falling right into a trap. She didn’t see it, she couldn’t have. Not even Hinata noticed anything out of the ordinary. Then again was his life ever ordinary?

Never.

Hinata wasn’t sure what he was expecting, all he knew was that he needed validation that he wasn’t going crazy, wasn’t seeing things, distorting them on his own accord.

Upon seeing Komaeda, some of the stress left his knotted muscles and the blur that hung in his vision cleared. He stumbled all the way to the table, those green eyes widening, a curious glint in them.

Komaeda’s nose wrinkled just the slightest bit, curiosity replaced by concern once he saw the sweat dotting Hinata’s brow. “Are you feeling well?” he asked instead of the usual chirpy greeting. The brown haired man only folded his arms on the table before him and buried his face in them. “You look… out of it. Your face is pale. Was there another murder?” it is a bit insensitive of Komaeda to ask him that even if it’s to find out what caused Hinata’s shit of a mood. Even in his dazed state the shorter man can hear the coldness lacing those words as the owner leaned back in his chair.

“No. Do you know… about what happened last night?” he asked timidly and tapped his fingertips against the tabletop.

“Yes. The press didn’t bother to hide the fact. If you were more aware of your surroundings, you would have noticed the tension.” And indeed, once Hinata had lifted his head up and rubbed the remaining blurriness out of his eyes, he noticed that the coffee shop was quieter than usual. The baristas looked like they were attending a funeral and if he listened carefully he could hear bits and pieces of conversations regarding Kirigiri’s collapse, swarming all around him like a thick cloud of dust. It made him even more ill. With a groan, he let his head drop onto his crossed hands. Silence was stretching, but Hinata didn’t feel any need to make it disappear. He didn’t feel like talking. In fact, he didn’t even feel like staying here for long. All he wanted was to get to the safety of his apartment, drop on his bed and bury himself in blankets, but he knew that this wasn’t an option. His buzzing thoughts won’t leave him alone just like that, they will follow him and it would not matter just how fast he’d drive, they would catch up with him. Not to mention the fact that he still needed Komaeda to say that he wasn’t going crazy. He just didn’t know how to convey it into words.

The man’s presence was enough. Even though Hinata couldn’t see him, his vision swimming in the calming darkness, that the sleeves of his jacket provided, the warmth soothing his annoying headache, Hinata was still aware of his gaze on him, watching him closely. The silence, that neither of them could break, told him that Komaeda was deep in thought.

“You were there when it happened, weren’t you?” Komaeda is the one to finally say something and Hinata curled into himself even more. It is a rhetorical question, the sound of that voice tender, yet unwavering. Hinata flinches once the detective is mentioned and buries his face even deeper into his crossed forearms until his nose is squashed uncomfortably against the thick fabric, to the point where he can barely breathe, creating a barrier between him and the possible questions the taller one might ask, however, he doesn’t.

“I apologize for—“

“Don’t.” Hinata interrupts and a frustrated sigh escapes him. “Don’t be like the rest of them. She’s not feeling well, but she’ll manage. I am sure of it.” He’s not sure, of course he’s not. Hinata is not sure about many things, but he still feels that this might be it for Kirigiri. He keeps telling himself that she’ll be fine, but in the end… it doesn’t work all that well. He always thinks rationally. Until they wrap this up, that is if they do somehow manage to do it, Kirigiri won’t get better. And there is an undeniable possibility that it might be too late for her, gnawing at the back of his head.

Komaeda bites at his lower lip and visibly struggles. “I—okay. If this is what you want then I won’t say anything. I didn’t mean to make you feel any worse. Is this why you look so tired, or is there more to it than a colleague’s collapse?”

Hinata lets out a mirthless laugh and the man before him blinks in confusion, his face clouded with worry. It's not like Hinata to try and humor these kinds of situations but this is just stupid. “I don’t think that you could make me feel worse even if you tried.” Hinata glances at the white haired man only to see him squeezing his lips into a thin line like he’s about to argue again. He focuses his gaze somewhere else instead and props his face against his palm. This is not a conversation he wants to be having nor is this a memory he wants to replay, but he needs to. “I went to visit her today and I saw… someone strange.”

“Strange? What do you mean ‘strange’?” Komaeda knits his eyebrows, but Hinata still refuses to look at him and another dull laugh escapes his lips. “At least I think I did… But you see that’s impossible. This is crazy. Maybe I am going insane…? Hey, Komaeda… do I look sane to you…?” he’s babbling some sort of nonsense now, eyes trained on his shuddering palm that isn’t covering half of his face and the white haired man clicks his tongue. One pale hand shoots out to cover Hinata’s left hand, curled fingers scraping at the dark wood tabletop. That searing heat, which always radiates from the taller man like a wave, snaps him out of his trance and Hinata is taken aback when he finally faces Komaeda. The man looks murderous, a dangerous aura surrounds him. It concerns the shorter one a whole lot, because this is the first time he’s seen this look on Komaeda and it creeps him out more than he lets on.

“Tell me what you saw.” His voice is over polite to the point where it’s scary and a shiver runs down the back of Hinata’s spine. If this were any other time or situation it might even be arousing. It still affects him a great deal and he has a hard time getting his words out so instead he tugs at the hand that Komaeda’s still holding. The strange mood dwindles away, Komaeda lets go as if he’s been burned and the look in his eyes softens.

“…I…” Hinata breathes in and finally gathers his scattered thoughts. “Whoever is responsible for Kirigiri’s collapse… I am like more than fifty percent sure that it involves the people behind this case. I don’t know who and I don’t know how they’re doing it, but I sure as hell won’t believe that she passed out from medicine overdose. That sounds highly suspicious no matter how I look at it… Not to mention the fact that her doctor just happened to disappear two weeks ago and not only that I… I saw… a woman.”

He feels like banging his head against the nearest wall. I saw a woman. Oh great. It is not like female nurses and doctors exist in this fucking planet. Tsumiki was a doctor for fucks sakes! This probably sounded weird as hell to Komaeda, he wouldn’t be surprised if the man burst out laughing any second now.

Much to his surprise it didn’t come. He didn’t even crack a smile, nor was he making fun of Hinata for his lack of perception as usual.

The man sat there still as a statue, his eyes glassy and before he could even notice Hinata’s mind traveled back to Tsumiki’s weird behavior. It felt like it was ages ago when she brushed him off like he was nothing. Seconds ticked by and Hinata felt less like a fool, his inconsiderate comment was quickly forgotten and the shorter man started feeling uneasiness creep up his spine. And here he thought that he was out of it today. If only he had paid more attention to his surroundings like the man before him had suggested, then maybe he would have noticed that Komaeda wasn’t feeling all too well himself. Just when he made up his mind to ask him about what he was thinking, the man let out a shaky breath and stood up, the usual grace gone completely.

“What—“

“We shouldn’t talk about this here. It’s not safe.” His eyes darted around the small space. Hinata followed his example and looked behind his back too. Some people were staring at him. Komaeda was right; these places weren’t the best to hold any private conversations. Kirigiri had warned him many times too.

“I… Yeah, okay. Where do you want to go then?”

“We could continue this conversation at your place if you don’t mind.”

Hinata had almost fallen face first on the floor in his haste to get up. He couldn’t control the pink tint that his cheeks gained at the suggestion. The last time they were at his place, they... Well he’d rather not think about it. It was easy to think that, but his body had refused to cooperate altogether. Then again, there were no better places that he had in mind, unless…

“Why should we go to mine when we can go to yours? Don’t you live somewhere around here?”

Komaeda visibly tensed, half of his face hidden by a black scarf. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. You can leave the bike; I’ll give you a ride. Let’s go.” Without waiting for a reply he made a beeline towards the glass door and Hinata huffed. It was just like Komaeda to do this. He never explained himself. Not when it came to his life. While the white haired man knew almost everything about Hinata, more than the shorter one had told him anyways, Hinata knew little to nothing about Komaeda. All he knew was his name and that he had the same goals as he did and that was about it. Whenever Hinata asked him something personal he would just change the subject or pretend that he did not hear it. It was annoying and it got on his nerves, but that was it.

He ran after the taller man and tugged on the sleeve of his coat. He didn’t turn around, white strands swaying in the cold, strong wind, so Hinata had to forcefully turn him around.

“This time no fucking around, alright? Not like yesterday anyways. You knew about there being two murderers and you just played along until the last moment. Stop testing me; did you think I wouldn’t notice? If you got anything to say, anything that would help me out, you say it and not wait until the last moment.”

Komaeda is obviously startled, with his guarded stance and wide eyes he resembles a deer caught in the headlights. Hinata is amazed because this has to be the first time that he had seen the taller man look so affected. However, it barely lasts for no longer than three seconds at most and with his free hand Komaeda tugs his scarf down, a small smirk gracing his lips, a smug curl of lips that made Hinata’s blood boil in two different ways. That self absorbed asshole. What the fuck was his problem? Did he feel wiser when he knew stuff that Hinata had to struggle to figure out, did that make him feel better?

He will probably never figure him out no matter how much he tried to do it.

“Took you quite some time to notice it. Can’t say that I am disappointed, I guess your mind was preoccupied with… other things.” The way he drawls it out, it doesn’t sound like he has the case in mind. Actually it seems that Komaeda has noticed his frustration and he knows how to handle it very well. It makes Hinata livid.

“I am warning you. Don’t do that. If we are going to work together then you should stop with the manipulations.” With one last snarl he lets go, huffs and goes ahead towards Komaeda’s parked car. He still remembers it and he has to turn around and shout at him for good measure when he sees that the man is still standing in place like a pole shoved into the ground.

“Are you dead yet!? Let’s go, we don’t have the whole day!”

\- -

The car ride is silent and a tad bit oppressive, but neither of them mind it, absorbed in their own thoughts. Komaeda looks rather uneasy whenever Hinata steals a glance and Hinata… he’s tired. He thinks about Kirigiri lying in that cold hospital room, hooked to those beeping machines. What would she say if she knew what Hinata was about to do… What would she say if she knew that he was about to tell Komaeda all of the details regarding this case, when she herself had instructed him to not do that no matter what. He also feels like he’s betraying Chiaki with this, he had refused to tell her anything and here he was. In a car. With a complete stranger.

A stranger that just happened to appear one day and decided to play the good guy, a thing that has never happened to Hinata before. A stranger who knew more than he should, about everything that involved him in one way or another.

Was he doing the right thing?

Probably not.

Then again, Komaeda helped him out a lot so far, so why shouldn’t he place his trust into him? They kissed for fucks sake. He had undeniable feelings for him, feelings that could no longer just be shoved into some corner inside his mind and locked away. He wondered what Chiaki would say. The woman would probably call him stupid and then she would jibe at him for falling in love with someone so easily. She tended to do that back when they were teenagers and he had developed a tiny crush on a girl from his lit class just because she had let him copy her homework. However, this thing that he had for Komaeda was still tender and he couldn’t call it love, but he knew that it wasn’t just a simple crush. Maybe a special attraction of sorts.

The type of attraction where he wouldn’t mind kissing him again and maybe going just a little bit further than that. It’s not like he was some sort of insatiable pervert like Hanamura was – because that guy was on a level of his own – yet he still couldn’t help but wonder if Komaeda was just as thin as he seemed when he was wearing layers of clothes. His eyes trace that lean figure and despite everything, Hinata can’t find it in himself to stop thinking like that. After a few more minutes of silence, he realizes that he never wanted to stop in the first place. It was probably just his frustration bottling up. It was common knowledge that any kind of tension could get sexual in mere seconds if you were out of it.

It is not like he can assault Komaeda when he had agreed to keep this a professional relationship even if it had some… certain undertones in it. He's not the one to go back on his word. He is pretty sure that Komaeda feels the same about their little agreement.

The tension in his body kicks up a notch when thoughts of dirty kind surface in his mind and he wills them away, because right now his number one priority is telling Komaeda about the stuffed toys that they found and getting some sort of clarification. He needs to tell him about the blonde woman. They will have a chat, Komaeda will tell him what to do and then they will go their separate ways like people, who are not related by any kinds of feelings, do.

Hinata looks at the changing scenery and thinks about why the hell he feels so sad. He can replace Komaeda. He’s not deep enough in this mess to not find a good replacement.

\- -

His apartment is messier than it was the last time, but Komaeda refrains from making any comments about the lack of order. In fact he looks lost and disoriented, like his thoughts are somewhere far away. Hinata plays the hospitable host part and asks him if he would like a cup of coffee or tea, but the tall man just waves him off.

“If you tell me that you have something stronger then I will be the happiest person alive.”

Hinata takes it upon himself to rummage through his bigger cabinets in search for some alcohol and Komaeda leaves the kitchenette and lounges on his sofa in the same spot and position like he did the last time. Somehow the apartment seems more welcoming with another person in it and Hinata can’t help but manage a small smile. He sees that he actually does have something stronger, but there’s not enough of the drink to fill two glasses, so he just brings the bottle to Komaeda.

“Here, you can finish it up if you’d like.”

The man gratefully takes the bottle with a small curl of his lips and finishes it up in one go, like it's a glass of water, without even coughing. Now that is rather impressive.

“Amazing… This isn’t cheap, is it? I really do hope that you didn’t mind giving me this.” He examines the bottle that Togami had given Hinata for his birthday, some sort of really gross Russian booze and Hinata stares, his jaw hanging open slightly.

“How did you do that? It’s really strong… I can’t even drink a shot glass without gagging.” And there was definitely more than a shot glass.

“Would you believe if I said that it’s a talent of mine?” Komaeda’s smile is almost up to his earlobes and Hinata rolls his eyes.

“Along with sneaking around?”

“Along with sneaking around.”

“What a useless talent to have.” The shorter one snorts and doesn’t notice the slight drop in Komaeda’s mood.

“Yeah, I guess it fits useless ol’ me quite well, don’t you think?”

“That’s not what I—“ he should’ve picked his words more carefully. It does not matter how many times he speaks to the man, Hinata keeps forgetting that he’s very easily triggered and that it takes a single wrong word placed in the middle of the sentence to make him start degrading himself. “I didn’t intend for it to come out like that, I was merely—“

“Could we continue our conversation about the people that you found suspicious in the hospital, Hinata-kun? Please.” The words that spill out of his mouth are emotionless and his smile is forlorn. Hinata feels even shittier than he did just a second ago and with a heavy sigh he plops down beside the man on the sofa. “There are some things that… I failed to mention to you before.”

Komaeda is silent, but he doesn’t look mad, only… disappointed, like he had expected this all along. “It’s alright. I understand.”

“I was instructed to keep this information secret by Kirigiri herself. It was supposed to be known to police only, but taking last night’s events into consideration and seeing how she’s not here to stop me…” he smiles at the ground and hesitates. “I see no point in hiding it. Who knows? It might be over now and we won’t change much so I might as well tell you.”

“I’m listening, Hinata-kun. You don’t need to force yourself to—“

“No.” Hinata gulps and looks at the white haired man. The look on his face speaks levels of tenderness and that fluttering feeling lights up in Hinata’s stomach once again. It doesn’t take long before the small ember turns into a fire and he has to dig his fingers into the loose material of his jeans, fists shaking. When he speaks his voice trembles, hell, his whole body trembles even though he’s not feeling cold, quite the opposite actually. “It’s fine. Well it sure as hell isn’t completely fine but I—I trust you.” Was there a spark in those green eyes or was he starting to imagine things? “And I want you to know. I am doing this, because I need to know that I am not going crazy, okay?”

Komaeda shifts the slightest bit and inches a bit closer but still not near enough to be in Hinata’s personal space. His tongue darts out to wet his lips and his gaze shifts from Hinata to his hands and then back to Hinata again. “Hinata-kun, you’re not going crazy. Why would you even assume that you—“

“You don’t know that. You don’t… you don’t understand.” The brown haired man is getting desperate and he finally feels himself breaking from all of the stress he puts on his body. “You’re not… understanding me.”

“Then help me understand." the mood that was back in the coffee shop settles over them again and Hinata is glad that Komaeda’s eyes are not on him because then he would be done and over with. He’s not sure what exactly he would do, all he knows is that right now he doesn’t need to be accused or blamed or… Or feeling like this. “Tell me everything from the very start and together we can figure this out. We can do this together you and I…” it is quiet and it soothes his nerves a little. Only a little.

Hinata takes a moment to calm himself and tries very hard to go back to his usual not panicky self. It’s not an easy task but he tries his best to put some effort into it. And so he tells Komaeda everything that he knows, all of the details, clues and other relevant bullshit. He does not mention Chiaki, because he’s still not comfortable enough around the taller man to do that - her safety is of utmost importance. Komaeda keeps his mouth shut through the whole story, sometimes making tiny noises in the back of his throat like a cat purring, but for some reason he’s not as shocked as Hinata had expected of him. It is almost as if he has… expected this. No, there’s more to it than that…

It’s like he had known all of this before and what the brown haired man just said were no news to him.

“Is that all of it?” he asks in a bored tone and Hinata is a bit unsettled by it. Just how unaffected can he be? Then again, if he knew one thing about the white haired man, it was that he had kept his emotions in tact most of the time. Still, it made his blood boil, only if a tiniest bit. He had spilled out his frustrations, almost let the man take a peek inside of his mind and he'd be damned if he didn’t feel naked as hell right now, but Komaeda showed no compassion, not even told him that he would be okay and that this was alright, they could fix it. They could get around this. He was not the one to give him some sort of validation, drop him hints and help him figure this crap out.

Instead he had his gaze fixed somewhere on the wall before him, face void of any emotions, cold anger radiating from him.

Had he pissed him off with his story? Did he not believe him or something? Was Komaeda mad that Hinata had kept this to himself until now?

Why the fuck did he care so much about it?

“Is that all of it? How dare you fucking say that, I just told you everything I knew without excluding anything and that’s all you gotta say? How about a fucking thank you?”

Komaeda blinks at him owlishly, finally shaken from his trance. “Um… I don’t understand why are you so mad all of a sudden? I only…”

Hinata glares at the taller man and he shuts up in a flash. “You are not. Understanding. Me.” he snarls and he wants to shake Komaeda so bad, but he doesn't, because he understands why the man is confused, he understands everything but himself and this disappointment that… That...

What was it that he had wanted in the first place? Some sort of consolation? Komaeda telling him that it's alright? Body contact? Was he upset because his expectations weren’t lived up to?

And of course the taller man, the perceptive bastard that he is, refuses to let it go while Hinata fumes silently and his brain tries to claw away from his head, so it can escape their owner’s dumb as hell thoughts. Was this the said frustration catching up? Was this why he felt like a five year old throwing a temper tantrum?

“Hinata-kun, are you sure you’re feeling alright? I don’t understand… what did I do…? Did I say something?” If so then tell me, I’m sorry, I’m trash aren’t I—“

Was this why he lunged at the confused man, stuttering nervously? Was this why he grabbed at the material of his clothes and crashed their lips together?

For some reason, for the second time that day Hinata realizes that he doesn’t give a fuck. His common sense is out on a vacation for the day and so he gives the reigns to his instincts. And right now all that they wanted was to release the pent up black mass of incoherent thoughts and feelings and his disgusting teenager-like libido to be satisfied.

Oh yes, he is indeed insane. Angry, sad and fucking horny. Now that is a true combination that made him that way.

Komaeda’s body is insanely hot against him and Hinata feels his thoughts shrivel up completely as if they caught fire. The white haired man’s lips are dry and slightly chapped, open in a soundless gasp, he is obviously shocked by the sudden attack. It's the perfect opening, but Hinata does not use it, it’s enough that he had flipped the rules off and attacked the man, the least he can do is keep it family friendly… Somewhat. He brings their bodies flush together, crawls onto Komaeda’s lap and tries to coax any kind of movement from him, but he's still and completely unresponsive. The longer Hinata keeps his hold on Komaeda’s jacket the more awkward he feels by the whole situation. It is totally one-sided, a thing that he had not considered and he feels slightly guilty that he had invaded the man’s privacy like this.

After all Komaeda was the one who suggested that they stay away from each other in that sense of word.

He doesn't want this.

And it stings like a bitch, because he did not need to know what rejection felt like.

He’s about to move away, a really uncomfortable feeling burning behind his eyes — oh god, now don’t be a bitch, Hajime, you’re not going to cry over this like a teenage girl, but then he feels a warmth on his side. At first it is barely there and he doesn’t really feel anything over his thick sweater, but then it gets firmer. Komaeda’s hand tenderly slides up his side, and Hinata relaxes against him a little and lets out a small puff of breath against the white haired man’s lips. 

Maybe this wasn’t so one-sided after all…? 

He feels the outline of that palm against him, long, thin fingers splayed and he is not sure where he should focus his attention; the touch or the kiss. Hinata doesn't have the time to think this through and weight both choices when Komaeda finally starts responding to the half-assed kiss, his lips timidly press back against Hinata’s all too needy ones and it doesn’t take long before they are getting lost in it, senses dazed like the last time they got together like this. The brown haired man relents his painful hold on Komaeda’s jacket and winds his arms around that pale neck instead, to bring him in closer. His senses dull completely, all but the ones frazzling under his skin like there’s lava being injected into his bloodstream, trying to erupt. He’s sensitive, far too damn sensitive and they are on a very dangerous track there. Komaeda obviously takes notice of their condition when Hinata just lets go completely, does not think twice before deepening the kiss and pressing the tip of his tongue against Komaeda’s, enjoying the lingering bitterness of alcohol, still noticeable on that sweet tongue, rubbing it carefully with his own and it feels so damn amazing that he can’t stop the shudder that races down his spine and he unconsciously rolls his hips against Komaeda. The white haired man makes a startled noise in the back of his throat, the vibrations sending another pleasure all the way down into the smaller man’s stomach and Komaeda pushes him back, their mouths disconnecting with an audible pop.

They are both catching their winded breaths as if they had ran instead of making out, again, in Hajime’s fucking apartment, on the same god damned sofa. And it feels wonderful.

However from that sudden reaction it seems that the man beneath him would like to disagree. Hinata is still nestled on his lap and he can’t tear his gaze away from that view, the taller male catching his breath like a fish out of the water, lips pink and moist and his cheeks flushed. The crease between his eyebrows is rather deep though and he looks like he’s in physical pain or his brain is overloading and the latter is much more likely in Hinata’s head.

“No…” he sucks in another breath and slides further up the sofa so that he could get more comfortable. Either that or so he could shake the brown haired man off of his lap which doesn’t work. “We can’t, I… I can’t. This is not supposed to—“

“Not supposed to happen.” Hinata finishes for him and it is Komaeda’s turn to cower in slight fear when he can’t see the brown haired man’s face clearly. “I understand. If you don’t want this then—“

“No!”

The shorter one blinks at him, confusion etched on his face. “No?” he echoes.

“I want this.” it hits the man on top of him like a lightning bolt from clear skies and his face turns red. “I-I really do, but I can’t do this to you… I don’t deserve this and if I keep kissing you, this might get bad. Really really bad.” He puts emphasis on the bad, and the distance between them melts with every word. Hinata is not sure how he has the self restrain to not pounce Komaeda. “If you don't stop then I won’t be able to control myself.”

It is said with such innocence that Hinata can’t help but laugh. He clutches his stomach and he can’t stop. The sound echoes in the tiny room and Komaeda’s cheeks begin to develop specks of pink and he actually pouts.

Hinata wipes the stray tears from the corner of his eyes and leans forward until they’re sharing breathing space and when he speaks, his lips brush against Komaeda’s. “Well I don’t see any problem with that then.” The mirth is gone from his voice and it's changed with a flirty tone, that Hinata was not sure he was capable of before. It’s not like he ever had a situation like this to deal with before and he wasn’t the type of person to flirt with well… right about anyone.

“You’re joking.”

“Am I really? Are you sure about that?”

“You don’t want this. Believe me, Hinata-kun, you do not want to do this with me.” Komaeda’s voice is desperate, yet he grabs the other one’s thighs and gives them a slight squeeze, as if hoping that the movement will shake the shorter one out of this lustful haze.

It’s a bit cute how scared Komaeda is and Hinata would laugh, but he knows that for some reason, that is yet unknown to him, Komaeda is actually freaking out. He’s not playing hard to get or whatever, it is an honest fear that Hinata is lying. He believes in it, he thinks that the brown haired man is using him and it is all too visible from his stiff body language to his shaking palms and the sad and betrayed look in those eyes.

Hinata… he wants to make those insecurities to go away.

He’s certain that in his life Komaeda had his own load of bullshit to deal with and even though he does not know the man well enough, he still wants to try and make it better, because he cares, more than he should, really. He does not want Komaeda to think that he’s being used, because Hinata would not do that. Not in a million years. Hinata is not doing this just because he needs a release, even though it is partially that, he’s doing this because he wants the taller man. Has probably wanted since he had first seen him.

Seconds tick by and the taller man gets more and more upset with every little sound that the clock makes. Komaeda’s left hand reaches for his hips and he squeezes the right side like he’s in pain, his fingers shaking. He lets out a long sigh and closes his eyes.

“Why are you so reluctant…?”

“I don’t want to… I don’t want to disappoint you.“ he doesn’t look up to meet Hinata’s gaze and something tells the smaller man that this isn’t the truth. There are more reasons than this, but he does not press. He knows that Komaeda won’t tell the real reason anyways. “I don’t want trash, such as I, violating you, Hinata-kun, you’re too good for me. Far too good to go down to my level, so please, do not insist on it.”

“Komaeda.” He calls out to him and places his hands on top of those broad shoulders. They are trembling and the jacket looks far too big on his thin frame when he’s curled up like that. “You did not disappoint me. If you had done something like that, I would have never spoken to you after the last time we were here. If I don’t like people I cut ties with them pretty fast. And besides, it's sex we are talking about, not marriage. If you want, we can do it and never speak of it again. Or… or we can pretend that this never happened and move on. I am the one who kissed you and I’m… I’m sorry.”

It really does hurt, saying those words; it hurts so bad that indeed the brown haired man feels like a weak little pansy, because he does not want to move on. It's not sex he’s talking about but maybe… maybe it is for the best.

Because even though his common sense is gone for the moment, he still remembers what it felt like when he realized that the two of them were no good together. Not in that sense anyways.

“You don’t have to be sorry… if you hadn’t made a move, then I probably would have.” The man smiles bitterly and shakes his head, those silky white strands swaying, covering his eyes. “I couldn’t help but think about it. I always think about it, even when you are not around to rouse these kind of thoughts... How despicable of me, just thinking about violating Hinata-kun like this… I am the lowest of the low. When I myself had said that we shouldn’t—“

Hinata feels his pulse beat somewhere in the back of his throat and his palms sweat. He’s sure his face is ten shades of red by now and it's getting hot. The fire in his stomach keeps growing until he can’t even breathe properly. Komaeda shifts underneath him and holds his body weight on his extended arms, his head resting against his left shoulder, the expanse of smooth pale skin and the delicate column of that throat tempting Hinata to come and bite down. The man pointedly refuses to look at him, his gaze shifting from the wall to the ceiling. “This is why I can’t really do it with Hinata-kun. Because I like… I like you. I like you a lot, much more than I should, so I don’t want to hurt you and I… it might sound very selfish of me, but I don’t want to hurt myself too. Who would return my feelings? Nobody. I can’t even dream of it, no less expect something so foolish and unattainable.”

It is getting darker outside and the room is slowly beginning to drown in shadows. It’s still quite early, but it's normal, after all, it won’t be too long until winter comes and the land will be covered in snow. A car alarm goes off outside and the ever-present traffic can be heard. The clock perched on a small table keeps counting down the remaining hours that are left until the end of the day, an incessant tick tock that is impossibly slow compared to the rushed intakes of breath that the other two room occupants make.

Hinata’s heart is bursting out of his chest and he’s pretty sure that if he doesn’t calm down then he’ll have at least three strokes in a row. Was it even possible for a small organ like this to beat so loud? Loud enough to echo in his ears, drowning out the rest of the sounds, all but one.

Komaeda’s breath hitches as if he realized what sort of mistake he had done and before he can fall head first into one of his self hatred moods Hinata tries to get some answers.

“You think… you think that you’re undeserving? Komaeda, if I didn’t like you, would I be sitting in your lap right now, still turned on as hell, mind you, asking you to have sex with me. Do you take me for some sort of hooker?”

“O-Of course not, I couldn’t!”

“Listen here, you big idiot. I like you. I like you a whole lot.”

“Wh-What are you—“

“Keep your mouth shut for a moment, I am not done.” Hinata smiles brightly and Komaeda’s eyes shine so bright that Hinata can’t find the right words to describe them and he’s not about to use some stupid romantic sentences, like this is one of those really cheesy TV dramas that he absolutely does not watch. If Hinata was damn sure that he was close to crying in the span of the last few hours, then Komaeda was teetering on the edge of it. “I don’t care what you say, all of this talk about luck… it means nothing in the end. I am my own person and I choose things I want and no one, or rather nothing else, can do it for me. This is what I choose. And I choose you. I won’t get hurt, just because I am with you, so you don’t have to worry about it. Why would you hurt me? All you have done was help me until now.”

“Stop…” his voice shakes and he truly does sound damn near tears, Hinata just hold his shoulder more and Komaeda clasps his own palm over them as if to remove them, but lets them rest there. “You don’t know what you’re saying—“

“Don’t give me that. I know what I am saying. I —“ he huffs a laugh. ”I don’t think that I’ve ever been more sure. It’s been only a few days, but it feels like I’ve known you for way longer than that. It feels natural. I must be crazy, but—“

He’s silenced when Komaeda finally decides to leave all of his doubts behind. The kisses on his lips are firm and insistent. Komaeda takes some time in between them and murmurs quietly. “No, of course not, you’re not crazy, you’re everything but crazy.” The white haired man’s arms loop around his torso and the brown haired man falls into Komaeda’s chest with a small ‘oof’ now laying completely on top of him, bodies pressed tight. Despite the inner battle still raging in the taller one’s head, it being obvious on his face, he still smiles against Hinata’s lips and holds him like he never wants to let go. It feels like something stolen had been returned to him. In seconds the kisses take a turn for sensual and Hinata breathes evenly against Komaeda’s lips when they pull apart to fill their lungs with much needed air.

“Do you really choose this? Do you think that this is okay with you…?” Komaeda asks him and Hinata brushes stray strands from those green eyes, pressing his thumb between the man’s eyes to smooth out the concerned frown he wears.

“I told you that it’s fine, didn’t I?”

“Someone as useless as me is never going to be good enough for you. You deserve so much better. You deserve the world, Hinata-kun and I can’t give you even half of what you need.” Hinata’s cheeks flush and he drops his head down in order to hide his embarrassment. He mumbles something that Komaeda doesn’t quite catch.

“What was that? I’m afraid I did not hear you.”

“I said you could at least have sex with me.”

As reluctant as he is, Komaeda cannot suppress a small laugh that bubbles in his chest and Hinata burrows his head into his shoulder again, but he doesn’t hide his shame very well, his neck flushed deep maroon.

“I don’t want to violate you.”

“You’re still on about that?” Hinata growls and thumps his forehead against Komaeda’s, eyes still closed. “How do I make you understand? Violate me as much as you fucking want. Go on right ahead. Today is ‘violate Hinata-kun day’. If you still think that I am gonna scream bloody murder the moment you reach out to me, then tell me does this,“ he grinds their hips together and Komaeda’s head rolls back as a small gasp tears from his throat. “look like it doesn’t need any attention?”

He feels lewd when he acts like this, but apparently subtle isn’t an actual word that exists in Komaeda’s vocabulary. He lifts his head up to steal a small glance at the said man’s face and he’s slightly shocked by the look that he’s wearing. Well, if he felt like a slut, then Komaeda looked like a dog in heat. It was damn embarrassing to watch.

Was it possible to come from just a single roll of hips?

Most likely.

“N-Now you’ve done it.” Komaeda stutters and Hinata gasps when those arms all but hoist him up with ease into the air and he instinctively locks his ankles on the small of Komaeda’s back. Hinata is by no means fat but he is not a toothpick either, so it is amazing just how the hell this twig of a man holds him up like that. Was he secretly working out or something?

However, he does not have any space left to think any further about his thesis on Komaeda’s secret super strength and endurance when the taller man latches his mouth on to the side of his throat and places sucking kisses on it, which will surely leave marks behind.

“B-Bedroom.” He squeezes out before Hinata occupies his mouth with his own, shamelessly plunging his tongue inside the welcoming heat. Komaeda sways a little, but his hold is still firm and he doesn’t show any signs of letting go. Hinata quickly mumbles directions to his ear and carefully bites down on the cartilage of it, nipping on the earlobe playfully. Komaeda makes a mewling noise that sounds fucking adorable and they stumble through the rapidly darkening corridor into Hinata’s room. Once the brown haired man’s feet hit the ground, Hinata quickly turns them around, shoving the taller man on his big bed.

If there was thing that Hinata appreciated, it was luxurious beds and he wasn’t afraid to waste money on his bedroom. The pile of pillows scattered to all the sides and he hastily wrestled out of his sweater, followed by his shirt. He quickly crawled on the bed, Komaeda’s wide eyes watching his every move intently. It gave Hinata some sense of superiority, like he was a ferocious wild animal about to pounce on its prey and in a way he was about to do just that. He pressed a chaste kiss on that fucking perfect mouth, Komaeda’s head lifting up from the pillows, not wanting to let go of the sensation. The shorter man pushed the man’s shoulders back and straddled his lap, making himself comfortable, sliding low; just enough so that he could give the column of Komaeda’s throat the attention that it was begging for, this whole day. It was amazing how sensitive the taller man was, his hips writhing beneath him, rolling against Hinata’s own and the brown haired man had to bite his lip to keep from hissing whenever he felt the obvious line of Komaeda’s ever growing arousal against his ass. The way Komaeda had twisted the sheets was endearing, to say the least. The smaller man sucked a lovely hickey on the right side of the white haired man’s throat, the said man crying out like they were at it already, and he breathed in the scent that could be described as Komaeda only. A sweet scent greeted his nostrils, something spicy like cinnamon, the smell of ginger and smoke. Cigarette smoke.

Hinata hated the cancer sticks, but he’d be damned if that wasn’t a major turn on.

He lapped down to the hollow of the man’s throat, the soft press of his tongue urging more sounds from Komaeda, his back arched off the bed. Hinata wanted to go lower, but the layers of clothes were in his way. He slid his fingertips under the shirt and his whole world tilted upside down, Komaeda’s leering face above his own. It took the brown haired man a moment to realize that they had been flipped over and he was now the one laying on his back.

“Watch your hands, Hinata-kun.”

Hinata gapes at the white haired man as if he had grown another head. “Are you serious right now? That thing at the café was a joke you know. I didn’t mean for the layers to literally stay on.”

“Maybe later.” Komaeda drawls out against his lips and connects their mouths over and over again. At first the brown haired man fights for some sort of dominance, but he quickly gives it up when Komaeda flicks his tongue against that one spot in his mouth that would make him go weak in the knees if he weren’t laying on the bed already. He shivers and firmly grabs the sides of Komaeda’s jacket to pull him in closer even though it was impossible. “You’re not fair.”

“Hmm.” Komaeda hums and bites on his lower lip, soothing the dull sting with his tongue. He swears to every deity out there that he could keep doing this forever. Both of them are not sure how the hell they were okay without this being in their lives until just a few days ago, but both of their trains of thought are completely different. Komaeda tries very hard to please, he really does, but Hinata can’t help but feel the tension radiating from the lithe body above him whenever their mouths disconnect, all trails of translucent saliva and bruised lips. The white haired man grazes his straight white teeth over the sensitive skin of Hinata’s ribcage, gives small kittenish licks that would tickle if they didn’t feel so good. It’s all fun and games until Komaeda runs his blunt nails down his skin hard enough to leave red welts, sucks lovebites on his collarbones each and unceremoniously ravages his chest area until Hinata is left trashing about once that tongue brushes over his nipples. He’s amazed just how sensitive they could get and he never would’ve thought that it could feel so good, but it does and the heat that pools in his lower stomach gets hotter and hotter. 

The need to feel Komaeda’s searing hot skin and not his clothes, which were isolating the warmth, the scratchy material feeling uncomfortable against his naked torso grows too big and he pulls at the man’s leather jacket, however Komaeda stops him, his grip steel-like.

“Wait.”

“I don’t really see what your problem is. Is there something you don’t want to show me?” Hinata gasps and lets go of the jacket’s lapels. Komaeda freezes and stares at the latter’s chest and Hinata feels slightly self-conscious but he knows that the man isn’t truly looking, his thoughts elsewhere. He takes in a few shaky breaths and Hinata feels like shit for pushing him. “It’s fine. If you don’t want me to see it then let it be. You don’t have to—“

“No. It’s okay, I want you to see. I want you to see this disgusting side of me. Because I trust Hinata-kun too…”

Hinata watches with batted breath as Komaeda’s eyes disappear behind the thick fan of pale eyelashes and he slowly rolls his shoulders, letting his jacket slide down to his elbows. It actually sends heat straight down to his groin, because even though this is a serious situation, Hinata cannot help himself. The movement is so fluid that it is almost breathtaking and he really should not be aroused by the mere sight of Komaeda taking off his clothes, but he is. The material drops from his shoulders completely, pools on Hinata’s thighs and his heart stops right then, right there.

It is too dark to see all that clearly now, the window does not provide enough light, but it’s still not dark enough for him to be completely blinded. Hinata takes a look at those pale and surprisingly strong arms and if he squints his eyes hard enough, he can see pale marks all over the skin as if the man had been carved with a blunt knife. Komaeda hooks his fingers over the white material of his shirt and lifts it over his head and Hinata’s suspicions are confirmed. The man’s torso is covered in tiny scars, some of them barely visible, some of them deep like the white haired man had been stabbed plenty of times and had somehow managed to escape death. The one on his left side is particularly horrifying and it looks suspiciously like a… shotgun wound?

Komaeda’s eyes are on him as if he’s expecting Hinata to flinch away and call him disgusting, but instead Hinata admires the sad view. It’s a shame that such a beautiful body has suffered so many mutilations, pale smooth skin jagged and uneven. A shame that Komaeda has to wear long sleeves all the time. He looks small in those oversized jackets and shirts, when in reality his body is anything but thin. His chest might be on the leaner side, Hinata notes that his is wider, but Komaeda had muscles to make up for it. They weren’t of bulky kind or anything of the sort, but now Hinata could confirm that the man was probably indeed working out during his free time or something like that. Muscles like that did not just randomly happen to someone who did not work for them. It was no surprise Komaeda carried him like it was nothing, nor would he be surprised if the man was a fighter judging by his strength.

It would be safe to assume that he had grown up in the streets. It would explain a lot.

“Aren’t you… aren’t you disgusted?” Komaeda mutters, lowers his head, seemingly upset and Hinata realizes that this is his fault because he hadn’t said anything, so the man above him had obviously jumped to conclusions. He reaches out his right palm forward and traces the slash wound right below the white haired man’s ribcage. It’s the longest scar that shines on the man’s torso, long and uneven. Komaeda sucks in a sharp breath; the muscles contract as if he’s unconsciously trying to pull away. Hinata traces the scar with his index finger until Komaeda relaxes and the tension leaves his shoulders.

“I won’t ask.” Hinata says when their gazes meet. “But I would like to know about them someday.”

“Maybe later.” The man repeats himself, gently pulls the brown haired man’s palm from the scar and laces their fingers together. “You don’t need to touch them. I know that they’re gross and that they freak you out.”

“Stop assuming. You don’t know me well enough to do that.” Hinata echoes, the same words that he remembers Komaeda tell him and this time when they fall on the bed together. They are flush against each other and it is the best feeling in the world; the sensation a kiss had provided combined with the uneven hot skin of Komaeda’s torso. The taller man begins slowly rocking against Hinata and the movement grows stronger with every second. It does not take long for Hinata to be reduced to a panting mess and the man above him is fairing no better, his cheeks colored dark red, sweat dotting his brow. Their belts click together with every move and Hinata wants to just get rid of these fucking barriers that are in between them and Komaeda is probably thinking the same when he slides his hands between their bodies and fumbles with the buckle.

“Are you… hah… comfortable?” he keeps asking Hinata if he’s okay and if he is enjoying this and it is ever so slowly getting on his nerves, so he doesn’t say anything. Hinata wordlessly buries his heated face into Komaeda’s shoulder and bites down in return. The man yelps, finally wins the battle with Hinata’s belt and works on his pants. It is hard to do that when the brown haired man hangs off of his neck like his life depends on it and keeps attacking everywhere he can reach; nips at the side of his throat, kisses the bite on his shoulder over and over again in apology for causing him pain. Hinata feels blood trickle from the wound, but he doesn’t mind, in fact the pain adds to his excitement, but he keeps his mouth sealed shut.

After a few more tries, Komaeda unbuttons the brown haired man’s pants, and Hinata lifts his hips so that he can slide the garments off. His hands are already tugging down at his own jeans and just when the hell had they gotten there? He doesn’t take any time to act shy and without an ounce of hesitance he slides his hand into the front of Komaeda’s already damp boxers and the man’s hands give out as he falls forward, just barely managing to catch himself without squashing the smaller man. Hinata is too absorbed in what he’s doing and does not notice the mishap at all, eyebrows knit in slight concentration. It’s kind of cute, so Komaeda makes a sweet sound of approval somewhere in the back of his throat and kisses the slight crease between Hinata’s eyebrows.

“Don’t focus too much. It's not that hard. Don’t think and relax a little.” Komaeda instructs. It is obvious that the smaller man isn’t used to this kind of thing or most likely has never done it before.

“Tryin’.” He mutters and sharply inhales through his nose when Komaeda takes his hard length into his palm and gives it a few half-assed strokes, but they are executed with such precision that it makes Hinata’s toes curl. He feels some of his common sense returning and he’s a bit guilty that he’s about to fuck or get fucked by, he was still not sure how the trail of events would go, by a complete stranger whom he was jacking off right now and getting the favor returned while there was some psychopath running wild and Kirigiri was in a comatose state. But this was his moment, his and his alone and no amount of serial killers or whatever could ruin it. Instead he decides to relax, just how Komaeda had instructed him, and it works miracles. If that was even humanly possible, his sensitivity had went up a notch and the sounds that escaped his mouth were all kinds of embarrassing.

“Fuck t-that’s good.” He growls his approval into Komaeda’s ear and his muscles twitch when Komaeda runs his thumb over his sensitive head, already leaking precum. It was damn embarrassing that he was coming undone just from Komaeda’s hand, his fingers obviously knowing where to knead and squeeze and how much pressure to add. Was he a professional handjob boy or some shit? There was no way in hell that people could be so good with their hands, nor should they ever be. He tried to keep up with the man’s movements, copying them to his best extent, but he probably wasn’t any good at it. It was a rather dumb presumption because moments later Komaeda was all over the place; his eyes lidded heavily, eyelashes fluttering whenever Hinata gave a stronger pump. Maybe he was into that kind of thing?

“You’re fucking enjoying yourself when I get rougher aren’t you?” Hinata hisses into his ear and he’s rewarded by a gasp when he gives a particularly harsh squeeze. It’s not one of pain though. That is an answer in itself. “That’s a bit slutty of you, Komaeda. It bet you will act even more like a whore in heat when I fuck you?”

“Hi-Hinata-ku—“ he coughs and his face gets darker, needier. Komaeda’s hand speeds up, but Hinata tries to remain unfazed even though his mind is a cloud of buzzing thoughts that mostly consist of ‘yes yes yes’ and ‘oh god fuck yes’. Hinata tries to keep it cool because he needs to test out the waters as much as he can.

“Will you be loud too—kh! Just look at yourself…” he whispers dirty stuff into the taller man’s ear and Komaeda is losing it with every profanity that escapes Hinata’s mouth. The heat builds up in his stomach, it pools and strains until it's no longer bearable and Komaeda releases right into Hinata’s hand, still pumping jerkily, his wrist straining from the fast movement. There’s something gratifying about Komaeda’s come, hot against his fingertips and he soon follows when the white haired man bites the side of his neck harshly and makes a mess on his stomach. White spots dance around in his vision and he’s worn out, but still not done. Far from it.

The white haired man keeps himself steady on his trembling knees and his shaking hands, his spine dipping down as he rides off the remnants of pleasure, slowly rolling hips into Hinata’s slick palm, still firmly clasped around his length. There’s something gratifying about this whole situation and Hinata can’t tear his eyes away from Komaeda’s flushed face, the flush fading with every deep breath he sucks in. Hinata is impressed, because that must take a whole lot of sheer willpower to not drop down on top of him. The white haired man shifts on Hinata’s lap and sits up; his semen coated hand gliding from Hinata’s softening length to the back of his mouth.

“If you’re getting that in your mouth, I am not kissing you.” Hinata growls in warning, still trying his best to catch his breath. Damn, that had to be the best release he’s ever had in a long time. Komaeda was just too good at it and Hinata no longer felt that shame, which crept up the rail of his spine just a while ago.

“If that’s what you want…” if Komaeda had fluffy ears poking out of that mane of white, now would be the exact time when they would drop from disappointment. Hinata did not notice that Komaeda’s tongue caught a stray drop sliding down the back of his thin wrist anyways, too absorbed in his own disturbing thoughts. He was seriously fucked in the head to think that, it was just wrong and he shouldn’t have thought about Komaeda with kitty ears in the first place. He was quickly snapped out of his own sick fantasies by the man’s voice. “That should be enough for now. We should really stop here. I don’t want you to keep on dirtying yourself even more.”

Disappointment surges through his body. “I thought I told you that it’s fine. If you’re that worried, then you can do it instead. I don’t mind, I don’t really have any preferences.”

Komaeda blinks at him as if he’s not sure what the hell Hinata is talking about, but then something clears in his eyes when he finally realizes where this is going. “But won’t that make me an even bigger failure…? I don’t want you hurt, by someone like me nonetheless—“

“I just gave you my permission. You’re thinking too much. “

“But—“

Hinata clicks his tongue, his annoyance overpowering Komaeda’s reluctance and he brings the man down forcefully. His knees give out completely when Hinata kisses him deep and long. He can feel Komaeda twitching against his hip and he pulls on the smooth strands on his scalp just enough to hurt. Their teeth click, it's suffocating, but it feels good and the taller man soon gives in, not really fighting back much in the first place. Hinata keeps going, his tongue delving deep in that welcome heat until his head swims from the severe lack of oxygen which he keeps denying. He’s not a flawless kisser, so he has to pull back. Komaeda whines at the lack of contact and his head dips down, but Hinata avoids the other’s lips and they press against the corner of his mouth. “Stop fucking stalling and fuck me already.” He snarls against the man’s ear and this time Komaeda doesn’t hesitate to pounce again, no longer caring about anything.

Hinata feels nails scratch along his ribs and he returns the favor twice as much. The room is drowned in the noises that escape the two of them. They don’t really talk and Hinata enjoys that. He always enjoys silence when Komaeda is involved.

He thought that he would be awkward, doing this kind of thing with a man he had met just a few days ago and knew nothing about, but it feels right. It feels nice.

The streetlights finally light up outside and the orange glow that pours from the window, distorts the shadows. Hinata’s breath hitches when the scars on Komaeda’s body look even more grotesque than they had in the darkness and he runs his fingertips over them. The taller man swats his hands away and sits up in between Hinata’s naked thighs. Somewhere along the line they had kicked their pants away completely and even though it is dark and Hinata cannot see the man’s face, which is completely shadowed, he can feel that gaze roaming on his body and he fights back the urge to cover himself. It’s slightly unsettling how self-conscious he actually is, but at the same time something about this whole situation is strangely erotic.

The taller man crawls over him, movements fluid and precise, just how the hell was it possible to move like that, that hot skin is against his own and the brown haired man’s sight blurs. He’s feeling sleepy and tired, but at the same time so damn comfortable whenever he inhales the sweet spicy scent of the man above. His breath is even and the he lovingly caresses the back of Komaeda’s neck, fingers brushing against the mussed hair there, a small smile tugging on his lips when he feels Komaeda responding. Hinata doesn’t really come out of his high, chest swelling until he feels Komaeda’s hand slide from his inner thighs, to the curve of his behind.

“Stop.” He breathes out and the man above him tenses and his hand freezes in place. He trembles slightly.

“D-did I do something wrong?” he sounds like a child caught with his hand down the cookie jar.

“No. But… this is not necessary. Just do it already.” Hinata lids his eyes and clings to Komaeda even tighter.

“If I don’t prepare you, won’t it hurt? It won’t feel good.”

“I don’t really feel… for some reason when I do this I don’t really feel anything. I- I mean, it never hurts. It’s not really comfortable, but…”

“Really?” he doesn’t sound one bit convinced.

“Really.”

“As you wish then… but if it does hurt then you tell me, okay? I’ll stop. I don’t want you to feel bad. Promise?” the way Komaeda sticks his lower lip out a little is beyond endearing and Hinata lets out a quiet laugh and kisses the corner of his mouth.

“Promise.”

They don’t really waste any time for building up the mood any further, and Komaeda’s breathing hitches when he props himself up on his arms, fingers curled into sheets. Hinata almost feels cold by the lack of heat, but he knows that it soon won’t be a problem. He bites his lower lip when he feels the nudge of the taller man’s length against his ass. Of course he hesitates.

“Is this really alright?”

“Shut up.” Hinata hisses and bucks into him, purposely grinding his ass against his erection.

It would be a lie to say that it does not hurt at all when Komaeda slowly pushes inside of him. By no means does it hurt to the point that it is unbearable, but it stings just a tiny bit and it’s really uncomfortable. The white haired man keeps his eyes squeezed shut, his arms trembling ever so slightly, back arching. Hinata nudges his heel into the back of Komaeda’s tense thigh and those green eyes flutter open to look at him. Maybe it was the dark and the dim orange light that dyed the room, maybe it was just Hinata’s mind playing tricks again, but the man looks damn near close to tears, like he’s the one with a dick shoved up his ass without any proper preparation. Hinata has to fight back the urge to reach out and stroke one flushed cheek, but he embraces Komaeda instead and mutters into the mess of his white hair.

“Move.”

“But—“

“Just move already. I’m fine.”

A shaky breath escapes him and Komaeda nods his head stiffly. He rolls his bony hips, stretching Hinata as he moves and the smaller man has to cross his ankles over the taller one’s lower back. His teeth gnash against his will and he can’t stop the continuous string of profanities that escape his mouth. They take a moment to catch their breath when Komaeda is fully sheathed inside of him. Hinata wiggles his hips, adjusting to the feeling that is still far from comfortable and Komaeda leans in to kiss his forehead, trembling like someone had kicked him out into a blizzard before he could put on some warm clothes.

“Does it hurt? Am I hurting you right now?”

“No.” Hinata decides to lie, though it is somewhat true. His senses were always a little dull when it came to sex. “It’s a bit… well it will go away soon.”

“It’s no good, right? I am no good at this?” he lets out a dry laugh and Hinata presses his palms against the white haired man’s mouth before he immerses himself into one of his moods.

“Shh, you’re going to ruin the mood.” Hinata whispers and smiles reassuringly. Komaeda’s gaze still pierces him and he’s tense as ever but he relaxes after Hinata encourages him and kisses him tenderly. It turns fervent in no time, the heavy mood melts away as if it had never existed to begin with and Hinata solely focuses on making the white haired man feel good. He peppers his face with light kisses and meets Komaeda’s weak, almost lazy thrusts earnestly. The discomfort dwindles and is replaced by the same fire that he had felt before. It’s hot, like there are embers burning under his skin and perspiration gathers on his brow, cheeks reddened and muscles twitching. He’s hanging to that wiry body like a lifeline and the taller man nuzzles into his shoulder, his hot breath erratic and choked. It is a little weird, but Hinata brushes it off, digging his heels into the small of Komaeda’s back to pull him in closer, urging him to pick up the pace. He lets himself be swept away by the pleasure, that courses through his veins, until he feels something hot and unmistakably wet against his shoulder. It’s like a harsh slap to his face when he freezes and restricts the movement of the white haired man’s hips with his legs.

He’s crying.

Komaeda was fucking crying and damn that makes Hinata feel guilty as hell.

“H-hey now…. What’s wrong?...I can’t be that bad, can I?” he lamely tries to joke and even cracks a halfhearted smile, but it does not help, if anything even more liquid escapes from those lidded eyes. It’s a pitiful view, it’s not beautiful, but there’s something gorgeous about it nonetheless. Komaeda is crying silently, brows furrowed and his eyes red, a constant stream of tears dripping down the bridge of his nose. “I’m awful.” Is the only thing that he says, his voice hoarse. “I’m really… really awful.”

“I don’t think that you are awful at all.” says Hinata and he holds his face, swiping the pads of his thumbs over the moist skin in hopes that it would calm him down, but it has the opposite effect. Komaeda makes a choked noise. “I really like Hinata-kun. That’s why...” he doesn't finish his sentence and closes his eyes.

The response comes naturally. “I like you too.”

“Liar.”

“I like you.”

“Liar.” The white haired man scowls and Hinata kisses him. It’s not the best thing to do, but it is the only thing that he can do. He’s not sure how to deal with this, with the two of them and it actually scares him. “This ‘like’ of yours is something unnatural. Don’t… don’t force yourself.”

“I am not forcing myself, but it seems that I can’t explain it in the way that you would understand… More like, you refuse to believe me so it is not your place to call me a liar.” Hinata swiftly adjusts their position so that he can settle on Komaeda’s lap and he bites his lip when he feels the man’s length sinking into him even further. “I really do like you, but it is one thing that you’ll have to see by yourself. So look me in the eye and tell me: do I look like I am lying to your right now?”

When their gazes finally meet, Komaeda blinks away a few more tears and smiles bitterly. “You’re very stubborn. You… should have r-ran away.”

“Too late for that one now, don’t you think?”

A sudden movement from below jolts him upwards and Hinata’s eyes widen. His body tingles from the pleasure and he has to take a moment before his brain begins functioning fully and he realizes that Komaeda is moving, this time it’s rough and deep and he claws at his back to keep steady.

“It’s never too l-late... never…” The man smiles, but it’s all artificial; it’s wide and stretches the man’s lips painfully. Even in darkness the brown haired man can see desperation shining in those eyes, sparkling with unshed tears. “Push me away.”

“No.” Hinata glowers at him. He knows that it lacks its usual intimidation, but it’s hard to focus while you’re being fucked ferociously. He can only hope that he gets the message across and he probably succeeds when the white haired man relents and clings to him tightly until it gets difficult to breathe. The room is filled with those dirty sounds of skin slapping against skin and even in his haze Hinata finds the time to run his fingers through that tangled mess of white hair and rub the damp scalp of Komaeda’s head. The tears don’t stop but it is not as bad as it was before and the ‘push me away’ somehow turns into ‘say it again’, when Hinata lets one more ‘I like you’ slip out when the man’s cock brushes against that sensitive spot inside of him.

It’s terrifying. A bit disgusting really, because this is a mess, they are a mess. There are no other words to describe it. It’s not like Hinata can stop feeling, he’s not a machine, but he’d rather not feel this guilt and pain that weights him down. There’s too much shit going on and he doesn’t know what to do, he only keeps sinking deeper into it like it's quicksand. If he’s a lost person, then Komaeda is his vast desert, deadly and void, but he would much rather burn in the heat of it than never feel it again.

Hinata caresses him with trembling fingers much like he would a lonely child who is scared of the dark and fears the nights that will inevitably come. His muscles tighten and he knows that he’s close; Komaeda’s breathing betrays the same. He doesn't dare to think about how he looks like at the heat of the moment. Probably like a cheap two-dollar slut who can’t be satisfied no matter what, but it's not like he can stop. It’s not like he cares anymore.

Komaeda’s hand is firm on his leaking shaft and he does that thing with his wrist that makes him choke out a muffled sob and he’s coming for the second time that night, not really bothering to keep his voice low. Who cares who hears them? Let them.

The brown haired man lets out an undignified squeak when he feels those arms loop around his waist, Komaeda’s mouth hot against his own and they fall back against the bed. He doesn’t even feel the taller man pull out and it takes him a minute at least to notice the liquid running down the inside of his thighs. Most of their mess is on Hinata’s body. Komaeda’s palm had brushed off the sticky liquid onto Hinata’s side, but he doesn't find it in himself to complain. He’s just feeling tired and empty.

They just had the most mind-blowing sex that Hinata had well… in a while and he still does not feel the happiness that comes with it.

Komaeda lies under him, eyes closed. He seems like his bones had disappeared from his body and he looks positively exhausted. Hinata can understand him; it probably wasn’t easy manhandling his heavy ass… he could only hope that he wasn’t squishing him to death, but the taller one made no move to push him away. Hinata studies that face and it fills him with some sort of warmth, a certain sense of accomplishment. If he only forgets the whole situation for a moment and pretends that nothing matters…

It works like a charm. He rests his head under the man’s chin and properly returns the embrace. Komaeda’s chest rises up and down, his breathing evens out and Hinata is pretty sure that he had fallen asleep, but then he feels a movement on his back. Komaeda pats his head, making the brown strands stick out even more. “…Can I… do it one more time?” he asks reluctantly and Hinata has some idea what he means by that.

“I don’t mind. But it would be nice if you showed a happier expression this time.”

The soft exhale tells him that Komaeda is smiling. “…Anything for you.”

\- -

They don’t refrain themselves. They go at it two more times, and by the third one they are too exhausted to actually do anything, so they fool around and kiss mostly. They don’t really talk that much during those moments and focus solely on the feeling.

It goes on for hours and hours, but they are comfortable. It’s lovely. It’s nice, because they forget.

A little after midnight Komaeda lifts himself up from Hinata’s luxurious bed and blindly searches for his pants, the brown haired man watching him with mild interest. Finally the man pulls those closer, slides on his underwear and goes through the pockets until he finds a small pack and sends sidelong glance over his shoulder.

“Do you mind if I smoke here? If you’re bothered by the smell I can go to the other room.” Komaeda shakes out one cancer stick and plays with a black lighter. So he really did smoke, huh? That scent wasn’t Hinata’s imagination then. He carefully thinks about his answer. He doesn’t really appreciate the harmful fumes, but if it’s Komaeda then he doesn’t really mind. “It’s fine. As long as you don’t blow that stuff to my side.”

The white haired man nods wordlessly and lights up the cigarette, bringing it to his lips and inhales deeply. The view is strangely attractive, the way the filter hangs between those still dark pink from the kisses lips and the white smoke brushes against his face. For some reason Hinata never would have thought that he was the one for such kind of thing and the curiosity gets the better of him. “…Any particular reason why you smoke?” he asks timidly and he feels like a fool because Komaeda won’t answer him. He never does. Plus, what was his business with this? Why should he care about the harmful habits of the other?

The white haired man is quiet and exhales through his nose, slightly turning to face Hinata better. “Do I need any reason for it? It’s a nasty habit. It’s almost like a ritual and it calms me down, so who cares if it is bad? We are all gonna die sooner or later, so might as well. Life is short, so I need to enjoy it while I can.”

Hinata blinks slowly and pushes himself up, bringing his knees up to his chest. This was the first time Komaeda has answered his questions about personal life. Maybe he was feeling generous today after the sex and whatnot. He should probably ask some more.

But… his mind was a blank. The two of them silent, Komaeda inhaling his cancer stick and Hinata not doing much of anything, swaying on the edge between consciousness and sleep, eyes fixed on the man’s broad shoulders, breathing in the scent of the smoke.

It smells like him. His bed, his sheets, his room, and his own skin… it all smells like sex and Komaeda. It makes him feel warm… safe.

His vision is hazy around the edges when he watches the man stand up so that he can open the window to get rid of the remains of the cigarette and let some cool air in to make the smell disappear. It is only then that something in particular catches Hinata’s gaze and his sleep goes away in an instant. He’s not sure how the hell he missed it, maybe because he was too focused on other things and the room was dark. When Komaeda turns his back to him, the orange light falls on that pale skin in a certain way and there’s something on his right hip. It is by no means one of the many scars etched on him. The black ink shines like a spot of dirt on a white surface, all graceful lines of black curves and pointy edges. It’s too dark to make out what it is exactly, but it looks like some kind of flower.

It’s obvious that Komaeda has noticed his bothersome stare. He steps towards the bed and then turns a little more so that Hinata can see it better.

It indeed is a flower, but at the same time it’s not, six brill-shaped petals with some black lines below, curling gracefully and creating the illusion that it’s the ‘flower’s' stem.

There’s nothing more that he wants than to touch it and Komaeda, the mind reader that he is, smiles slightly. “You can if you want to.”

With batted breath Hinata touches that hot skin and traces the longest curve of ink, bringing his fingers to trace the flower-like figure. A shiver runs down the standing man’s back when he does that and Hinata asks shyly, his curiosity getting the best of him. “Does it have any secret meaning behind it?”

Komaeda’s shoulders stiffen and with a deep sigh sits down on the bed, facing away. The silence stretches and Hinata thinks that maybe he pressed too much, but he’s fooled by the quiet once again. “Yes. You could say that. I guess you could say that it’s not much of a secret meaning, it’s a promise.”

“To who?”

Komaeda’s smile is small, yet gentle. “I’m afraid that I can’t disclose that secret to you, Hinata-kun.”

‘Doesn’t really make sense.’ Hinata thinks. ‘I asked for the person, not for the secret… then again, I shouldn’t have expected a straight answer.’

Komaeda fishes out another cigarette out of his pocket and lights it. Hinata furrows his brows. “This is really not healthy, you do realize that?”

The white haired man just shrugs his shoulders and puffs out smoke. “Don’t care.”

It makes Hinata’s anger perk up, but he keeps it in control and bites down on his frustration. He should ask things while he can. If he’s to get angry then Komaeda might stop answering. In other words, this was his only chance.

“Your body… where’d you get those scars?”

“These?” the white haired man asks and looks down to his marred torso, poking some white lines with his free hand. “These are a reminder of sorts. Ugly aren’t they? Perfect for me.” he lets out a bitter laugh and it makes Hinata’s toes curl into the sheets. If there’s one thing he hates more than hearing Komaeda degrading and likening himself to trash, then it is his fake laugh. “I don’t like talking about where I got them, so I will leave this up to your imagination. To ease your selfless worries, I can reassure you that I did not suffer any abuse. I know how to stand up for myself quite well.” Komaeda inhales another lungful of smoke and gazes at the window with a faraway look in his eyes. “I did grow up in a rough environment though!” he confirms Hinata’s suspicions in a chirpy voice.

It’s sad.

He doesn’t say anything after that and Hinata knows that this conversation is closed. “Can I ask you something…?”

“You can ask me whatever you like; I’m just not sure if I’ll be able to answer your questions.”

“Right… Can you tell me what’s on your mind right now?”

It’s a weird question and he didn’t really mean it to sound the way it did, but it’s not like he can rephrase it. It would not matter how much he tried to sound delicate, the meaning would still be the same. Komaeda blinks at him owlishly and places his elbows on his thighs, the ridge of his spine even more visible in this lighting. The cigarette loosely dangles between his fingers and the man thinks about his answer. “Hmm… I guess a lot of things. I am the type of person who thinks a lot. I don’t really know, I guess I’m always thinking up ahead. Searching for some meaning in what I do and why I do it. Future goals, luck, life… most of it is what a normal person thinks about.”

“What do you mean?” he can’t really let that one slide. Does he really not think of himself as a human being…? But at the same time, why did he show such desperation to be accepted, loved by others? Why did he want to be treated as an equal?

He will never figure Komaeda out.

“I don’t mean anything by it. Life is a gamble, you know? I leave everything to luck; I did tell you that it’s one of my specialties. Bad luck brings good luck. One moment you think that you have it in your grasp and the next, it is out of your reach.”

“That’s a lonely way of thinking.”

“It may be so, but eventually every living human being who lacks hope reaches a point in their lives when they just—give up. They don’t really care about what happens to them and while they may think so, at the same time all they want is to have their secret wishes granted. Essentially, I’m the same. And I think that I had passed those bounds a long time ago. If my wishes are granted I wouldn’t mind if I disappeared. I think it would bring relief to the ones around me. I don’t really have anything that binds me here, only unfinished business. That’s all that I need. Besides… no one would miss trash like me.”

Hinata grips at the sheets and his body trembles. That… wasn’t a healthy way of thinking at all. Nothing binds him? Disappearing? That was…suicidal. He wasn’t even being subtle about it.  
He tried imagining what it would be like without Komaeda around and he realizes that he is not capable of imagining it. He can’t really imagine it. It’s not like he wouldn’t be able to live without him, but life with him gone just wouldn’t be the same. And if he can stop this then he has to try it.

He had to snap him out of it.

“I would. I’d … miss you.” It’s a little embarrassing, but he barely feels it, his body high-strung with fear.

‘Look at me. Why won’t you ever look at me?’ is what he wants to say but he bites his lip and screams it out inside his head instead.

“…You’re far too kind to me, wasting such efforts, such beautiful words on me… it is more than I deserve, but let me tell you something.” He finally turns and in a second their faces are close, a mirthless smile stretching Komaeda’s lips. He blows smoke right on the brown haired man’s face, but he’s too shocked to move, stiff as a board. “I don’t like lies, they are rather unappealing.”

Hinata feels as if someone had kicked him in the stomach, his eyebrows raised high and his breathing erratic. His fingers twist in the sheets and shake and something breaks within him. He doesn’t think when his arm shoots out and brings Komaeda’s head to his, forehead harshly knocking against each other. Hinata hopes that it will leave a bruise on Komaeda’s forehead and grips the white strands, not giving in to the shocked look in those forest green eyes. Hinata snarls like a wild animal, his voice loud. “I am this fucking close to kicking you out of this apartment! Let me make myself clear one last time. If I thought of you as no one, someone who just doesn’t give me the slightest of feelings, then I wouldn’t have agreed to any of this! Get it through your thick skull, because for now all I hear is blablabla—shut the fuck up, Komaeda! Stop acting like that! You’re making it hard for me to even try and understand you, so cut the bullshit and listen to me. You are needed. You’re fucking needed so if you go on ahead and keep thinking that and then break your own neck eventually then I will go there. I will go there - heaven or fucking hell, I will find you and then I’ll drag you out, so that I can beat your damn ass myself and then kill you again. I like you as a person, as a human being. I enjoy your company. I even imply that I might have some romantic feelings towards you, so don’t you go and say ‘oh no one needs me, no one cares’. Open your eyes, princess, and look at me. Even one person is more than enough to think that this life is worth living!”

Hinata breathes heavily against his lips and Komaeda shakes, his mouth moving as if to make out words, but no sound comes out. He actually looks intimidated and the fear that glistens in his eyes is real. The brown haired man would feel sorry if he wasn’t so riled up. He tries to calm down, but to no avail. “So please, stop thinking about yourself like that… I know that you can’t do it in a blink of an eye… but it doesn’t hurt to try? If you can’t do it for yourself then do it for me…? Cling to what you have and don’t let it go. You said that you still have unfinished business to take care of, didn’t you? Take care of it and find new reasons to keep on going.” Hinata closes his eyes and rubs their foreheads together. He has to swallow down that uncomfortable hitch that he feels in his own throat. “…Don’t go somewhere I can’t follow. Can you promise that…? Promise that you won’t disappear without any notice once your goals are reached. “

Promise that after all of this I can turn into your reason to stay in this world.

That’s all that Hinata wants. He does not need for Komaeda to be by his side every day; the two of them are too independent for things like that. They don’t settle down that easily, but just knowing that the other is safe… it’s enough. More than he can ask for. If he can see that face every once in a while, no longer void and actually enjoying life, then it is enough.   
Komaeda exhales a shuddering breath and it makes Hinata shiver. He does not need to open his eyes to feel the idle coldness that radiates from the man. “Open your eyes.” He orders in an emotionless voice and Hinata thinks that this might turn into a fight, but he doesn’t regret it. He had only spoken his mind and the rest is up for Komaeda to decide. What he wants to do with his life, how he wants to do it and whether he will take Hinata’s words into consideration or not.

“For someone who does not know anything you’re very considerate. It’s a vulnerable trait, but I love it nonetheless. I love your hope, even though it’s wasted on me… I still love it.” His eyes lose the hard edge in them and he brushes the smaller man’s short hair. ”You’re still incredible.” He rubs the tip of his nose against Hinata’s. “I can’t promise you much. I still can’t give you what you want, but I’ll try. I’ll try until the very end and after this is all over, after I finally succeed… then maybe. Maybe something incredible will happen. Together we will expose the mystery of this and you will write that amazing story of yours. I really do believe in you. You will have a wonderful and promising life filled with the purest of hope.” It still sounds like Komaeda speaks in double meanings and he’s reluctant to give him a straight yes, but maybe he’s expecting too much? This man has a hundred of problems and Hinata does not want to become one of them. “Thank you. For giving me a reason. I believe in my cause and I’ll try not to fail you… and myself. I hope this is good enough?”

Hinata has to bite the inside of his cheek to keep the hot tears that are threatening to spill. He needs to be the strong one; he couldn’t afford to show any weakness in his life. It was like this since the very beginning. At least Komaeda is willing to try. At least… he gave him hope, a reason to not give up. A reason to complete his goal.

“Yeah. That’s enough.”


End file.
